See Me For What I Am
by KhCcGlee
Summary: Kurt stood in front of his mirror, yet again, looking over his features and body, deciding that he was going to make himself perfect no matter what.
1. Prolouge

**I don't own Glee.**

The first time Kurt Hummel actually thought about his weight as a problem was back in his sophomore year at McKinley. It had been during that god awful week when Sue Sylvester had ordered her cheerios to drop a couple pounds so they would look perfect for a reporter that was supposedly coming for an interview and performance. If there was one thing Kurt knew how to do other that dress fashionably was eat healthy, avoiding everything involving grease and ridiculous amounts of salt.

He had always thought of himself as a thin teenage boy, but his mindset slowly began to change after a remark Sue had made about him during that week. Looking back on the moment, he couldn't remember exactly what she had told him, just recalling that it had to do with the fact that he had hips like a pear.

Generally, Kurt had brushed it off, knowing that that was just what Sue Sylvester did. She insulted people mercilessly and half the time the remarks weren't true. However, the tiny seed of a thought had been planted and he found himself from time to time standing in front of the mirror, scrutinizing every detail of his pale body.

He would stand in his skin tight jeans, shirtless in front of the mirror, turning every which way to look at his body from every angle. Kurt would pinch and pull at the skin that stretched over his hips, wondering if the crazy cheerleading coach had been right. And every time, Kurt would put a shirt on with a decision to eat healthier than he already did (if that was even possible).

Getting dressed in the morning, he subconsciously avoided looking at his stomach and hips, and slid on the designer clothes as quick as possible. The clothes hid him and he was happy about that. When people looked at him, they saw the outlandish clothes he wore, not his weight and build.

Then he had transferred to Dalton and was stuffed into a stiff uniform and once again, the thought arose. People wouldn't even send what you're wearing a second glance, seeing as they were also wearing it and would be wearing until the end of their schooling career at Dalton Academy. Kurt couldn't help it as the thoughts flooded his mind, telling him that people would see him for what he really was now.

Once again, the bright eyed boy forced the thoughts from his head, promising himself to eat _even better_.

After his dad's heart attack, Kurt had obviously been forcing the older man to eat better, fearing the possibility of another heart complication. Sure, his dad would complain about the lack of flavor and altogether how much he disliked the food, but Kurt was stubborn and all but shoved the tasteless food down his father's throat. You would think that he would feel accomplished or proud to see his dad get healthier and even drop a couple of pounds, but to be honest, he felt a little jealous.

Kurt was nearly five feet and ten inches and all the doctors and websites he had just _happened_ to browse told him that he was in the range of what the healthy weight should be, but he couldn't help but have a feeling of doubt and disagreement. When he stepped on the scale he saw the number _rise and rise and rise_ until it finally stopped on a hundred and forty six pounds. He had been that weight for as long as he could imagine. Even staying that weight through all the times he tried to eat healthier than he already had been, but his dad seemed to lose a few pounds the first time he eats healthy and in Kurt's mind: _it wasn't fair_.

But again, with all the other thoughts that had crossed his mind alike that one, he made sure it left his mind as quickly as it had entered and tried to continue on with life normally.

That was until of course he had fallen completely and utterly in love with one Blaine Anderson.

Kurt was no stranger to the feeling of love and heartbreak. At the time, he had thought that he was totally in love with Finn, but now that he looked back on it he could honestly say it was just a misguided crush. He was being bullied without any friends and he just wanted someone to be there for him and Finn had been the only jock to show at least a smidgeon of compassion towards him, hence the falling head over heels. But just because it was a crush, didn't mean it didn't hurt to feel rejected.

Again, Kurt Hummel ignored the hurt and told himself that Finn was just straight and if he was gay he would _totally_ be in to him.

Then there was that brief embarrassing stint with Sam. Lima, Ohio was certainly not crawling with young gay teens so obviously when he saw Sam and his ridiculously blonde hair, Kurt got excited. Kurt held onto the hunch about his brightly colored hair, telling himself that anyone who dyed their hair that color had to bat for his lonely team. If he was being completely honest, he would probably admit to himself that some straight men could dye their hair and Kurt just wanted someone to be like him and understand what he was going through. And even though he hadn't even known him long enough to even call himself his good friend, when Quinn and Sam sung the duet it didn't mean it didn't hurt to be rejected.

Again, Kurt Hummel ignored the hurt and told himself that Sam was just straight and if he was gay he would _totally_ be in to him.

But then there was Blaine. Sweet, kind, talented, gorgeous Blaine who Kurt wanted nothing more than to kiss senseless and never let go, but of course he couldn't because they were just friends. At first when he met Blaine, he was overwhelmed by the fact that he had found someone else like him (excluding the closet case that was Karofsky) who held his hand both literally and figuratively. Then he actually got to know the curly haired boy and couldn't stop himself from falling in love with him. But then he had serenaded the Gap who needed to find himself a pair of scissors if he actually wanted to stay in the closet. Kurt would have been utterly torn up about this, yet after their conversation in the coffee shop, Kurt reassured himself that the older boy did have feelings; he just didn't want to screw their friendship up.

He ended up screwing it up anyway when he decided to kiss one of his friends at a party a go out with them even though that person lacked a penis. To say the fight hurt was an understatement. Blaine had practically told him that he liked him but was bad at relationships and then jumped into one with Rachel after one drunken kiss.

This time Kurt Hummel couldn't ignore the hurt and tell himself that Blaine was straight and if he was gay he would totally be in to him, because he _was_gay and he totally _was not_ in to him.

And that's when that pesky little thought popped into his brain yet again. For almost a year now, Kurt had been telling himself that he was not repulsive and he was being ridiculous but this changed everything. A gay guy would rather jump into a relationship with a _girl_ than be with him. If that wasn't a red flag, he didn't know what was.

Kurt stood in front of his mirror, yet again, looking over his features and body, deciding that he was going to make himself perfect no matter what.

**So this is just the prologue which means the other chapters (if you guys like the story) would be much longer.**

**Review?**


	2. Chapter 1

**I don't own Glee.**

Kurt woke up to the bright yellow sunshine streaming through the navy curtains covering his window. He already knew that today was going to be a great day and the warm light blanketing his face was just an added reassurance to his good mood. Rolling out of his warm cocoon of a bed, he noticed that his roommate Trent had already gone down to breakfast which just heightened his already ecstatic mood.

It's not that he didn't like Trent or anything, but if he had been here that would mean Kurt having to share the bathroom and not being able to make himself as perfect as he wanted to be.

Kurt Hummel was tired of being the lonely gay kid who can only get a kiss from a ditzy cheerleader that wanted a 'perfect record' and a closeted jock who resorted to stealing cake toppers as intimidation methods. Today was the start of his journey to becoming fabulous. Sure, he had always considered himself fabulous, but that was due to his clothes. Soon enough, he would have the perfect body and the clothes would just be an added bonus.

He stood in front of the full length mirror after shedding his pajamas, just in his boxers. His features molded into one of disgust as he pinched the skin above the waistband of his boxers and at his stomach. There was a small amount of skin that bunched in between the fingers of each pinch, but it was enough to make him want to get dressed and never take off clothes again. With a small sniff he turned to the closet and gingerly grabbed his uniform.

The bright eyed boy shook his pale head in an attempt to rid his mind of thoughts of what was displayed in his mirror just moments ago. _Just because you look like that now, does not mean you will look like that soon. Soon every boy in school will turn their head as you walk fabulously down the hall. _Blaine_ will turn his head. _

A smile grew on his pink lips at the thought of having Blaine look at him like that. To have him actually like what he sees when he looks at Kurt. To have the gorgeous Blaine Anderson look at him as more than just a friend would be a dream come true.

He grabbed his bag and phone, his smile growing when he found that he had a text from the boy that had just been occupying his thoughts.

_**Hey, do you want to walk to breakfast together?**_

_**-Blaine**_

His pale fingers flew expertly over the screen, telling the older boy to come to his dorm room. Not a minute later there was a small knock on the door.

"That was fast." Kurt reported as he opened the door and stepped out into the hallway besides Blaine, closing the door behind him.

"I was already on my way to your room when you texted me." Blaine placed a warm hand on the small of Kurt's back and gave a small push to get the other boy to start walking towards the dining hall. This was the reason Kurt wanted to change. Such a small touch could send shivers up his spine and make him want to jump up and down, but to Blaine, it was just a touch of _friendliness_. Nothing more, nothing less. _Just wait. _Kurt reminded himself.

The walk was mostly a comfortable silence except from the occasional greeting to another boy passing by the pair.

Kurt was someone who really liked his routines. He had his morning routine, moisturizing routine, and he and Blaine even had a small routine they wordlessly executed every day. He and Blaine would walk down together after Blaine would send a text asking even though Kurt told him a million times that he didn't have to ask. Apparently it was the polite thing to do and Blaine was too polite for his own good sometimes. From there they would get into line and get their food, and then go sit down at the table occupied by mostly Warblers.

Needless to say, Blaine was confused when he started his walk towards the seemingly endless food and realized Kurt wasn't next to him scolding him for his eating habits like he usually was.

The curly haired boy turned around to see Kurt heading towards the table and sitting down to next to Jeff. The food was forgotten as he followed Kurt and placed his hands on the back of his chair. Leaning down slightly he asked "Why aren't you getting any food?"

Kurt peered up at Blaine with a smile. "I'm not really hungry this morning." He added a shrug and pulled out a bottle of water from his bag.

The standing boys thick eyebrows furrowed in a disapproving manner. "Kurt, come on, you have to eat something." Blaine reprimanded with a slight edge of concern lacing his voice.

"Blaine, I will eat when I get hungry, but I'm not hungry right now so please just get your food and leave it alone." Kurt turned back to Jeff, leaving the other boy slightly confused. Jeff thought it looked like Blaine was going to say something else, but was apparently wrong because a moment after, he shook his head and walked away.

"I think you hurt his feelings." Jeff stated, staring after Blaine who had returned back to the line and was now talking with Wes.

Kurt just shook his head and smiled, knowing that Blaine would be happy soon enough. He was brought out of his thoughts when a boy he had never seen before sat with a loud plop in the seat on the side of Jeff that Kurt wasn't occupying. "Hey there, Jeff." His voice was deep and raspy; it sounded like the voice of a smoker.

The boy with long white blonde hair took a piece of toast off of Jeff's plate and leaned back. His tie was loosened and his blonde waves fell almost to his shoulders in a rumpled manner. He was sitting down right now so Kurt couldn't figure out his exact height, but he looked to be about Finn's height with the build of someone like Puck. Overall, he looked somewhat out of place at the Warblers table.

Jeff just rolled his eyes and frowned. "Go away Liam."

The boy who was supposedly called Liam just snickered before turning his dark brown eyes to Kurt. "Why, hello there. I'm not bothering _you,_ am I?" Kurt opened his mouth to respond with one of his signature witty remarks but shut it when another voice began to speak from somewhere behind him.

"Why are you here Liam?" Blaine asked as he sat in the chair next to Kurt. When he sat down the chair slid closer and Kurt didn't know whether it was Blaine who slid it closer or it was just the chair, but he decided to drop it when Liam responded.

"Why is nobody happy that I'm here?" Liam asked incredulously, leaning forward on the table, his chin in his hands. He stared at the half eaten piece of toast for a moment before dropping it back onto Jeff's plate who in turn pushed the plate away with disgust.

"Why _should_ we be happy that you decided to grace us with your presence?" Asked Nick from across the table.

Liam rolled his eyes and turned to Kurt while standing up from the chair. "Don't let the losers sway your thoughts of me. I'm actually awesome. These guys here just have sticks to far up their asses to realize it." With that he walked away, leaving the table in silence.

"Who was that?" Kurt asked, unscrewing the cap off of his water bottle and taking a small sip, looking between the boys at the table.

"That was Liam. He is a perfect example of someone you don't want to get involved with." Blaine responded and then moved the conversation conveniently to another topic.

…

Kurt walked out of his History class to find Blaine leaning against the wall like he always did. They always went down to lunch together or went out on the occasion that they didn't feel like having the Dalton school lunches.

"Hey. I was thinking we could go out for lunch today. David was telling me about this great new place that just opened and I thought we could go see if-"

"Actually, I think I'm just going to go to my room and get some homework done." Kurt smiled apologetically and began walking towards his room, knowing that Blaine would follow him.

"That's cool, I'll just go get us some food and I'll meet you up in your room?" Blaine compromised, walking in step with the light haired boy.

"I'm not really all that hungry." Kurt gave a small shrug and kept on walking down the hall.

"Kurt… you haven't even eaten anything today." Blaine's voice dripped with confusion and worry. "Are you okay? Are you sick?"

This was the part Kurt dreaded. He really didn't want to lie to Blaine, but he had been doing so well today, only drinking some water and he knew that if the older boy found out he would force feed him if he had to. "I might be coming down with something, but I don't want anything to eat."

And that was when Kurt's traitor of a stomach decided to let its real opinion be known by growling loudly. There had not been a moment where Kurt hated himself more than that as he felt his skin heat up and Blaine stare at him with an unreadable expression.

"Why are you lying to me?"

Kurt stopped and turned to face Blaine. Now was the moment when he would find out if he was as great of an actor that he thought he was."I'm not lying, Blaine. I feel like I'm coming down with something and I don't feel like eating."

Blaine took Kurt's hand and led him into his room. "Why don't you take the rest of your classes off and I'll just get you something small to eat?" The older boy tried to compromise in a way that didn't sound like a parent or like he was demanding Kurt to do something, knowing that the pale boy would be stubborn and get mad.

Kurt sighed and shook his head. "If I eat something small, would that make you happy? And I'm definitely not taking the rest of my classes off."

Blaine rubbed the back of his neck and nodded reluctantly. "Fine. I'll be back. I'm going to go get some food." He left without another word, not needing to ask what Kurt wanted.

Kurt groaned and sat down on the bed. He lowered his head and was met with the sight of his thighs.

His giant, monstrous, disgusting thighs which would only get bigger if he ate the lunch Blaine was off getting.

On the other hand, Blaine would know that something was up if he kept skipping out on meals like he was doing now. He wasn't trying to starve or harm himself; just lose enough weight to be desirable for once in his life. Was it so much to ask to lose a little weight and actually look nice? To actually have your pathetic feelings reciprocated?

Kurt sighed and picked up his books, deciding he might actually start some homework like he said he would. Blaine came back a couple of minutes later with a sandwich for himself and a salad for Kurt. He set the salad besides Kurt and pulled up the chair from Trent's desk to sit besides the blue eyed boy.

As Blaine pulled out his books to start his work, Kurt took a small bite of the salad. Until that moment, chewing the bland lettuce, he didn't realize how truly hungry he was. He ate a few more bites until he looked down into the container and took note that he had eaten almost all of it.

The food in his mouth became thick as he thought of what he was supposed to be doing and all the possible ways this could affect him and his plan. Kurt reluctantly swallowed, his throat feeling dry, and put down the fork before pushing the dish away and giving his full attention to his homework.

"Aren't you going to finish all your food?" Blaine asked, eyeing Kurt and the half eaten food.

"I'm full. I told you I would eat something and I did." Kurt didn't look up from his text book making Blaine all the more concerned. It wasn't until a hand was pressed to his forehead that he lifted his head.

"You don't feel warm." He commented before Kurt swatted his hand away and stood up.

"Thank you, _mother_. Nothing is wrong, I'm just full. Now leave it alone!" He ran a pale hand through his soft hair, immediately smoothing it down after and sat on his bed. "I'm sorry; it's not your fault. I'm just tired."

Kurt mentally rolled his eyes at himself. He literally has used four different excuses as to why he was acting the way he was. So far he wasn't hungry, he needed to finish homework, he apparently wasn't feeling well, and now he was just tired. It was a miracle that Blaine hadn't called him out on it, but Kurt wasn't really surprised. _He doesn't even pay attention to me._

Blaine was silent for a moment before getting up and going over to sit next to Kurt. "I don't know what's up with you, but I want to help you and I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on." He ducked his head towards Kurt's and placed a comforting hand on his knee. Again, Kurt's thoughts were of the depressing fact that the _wonderful_ touch on his knee was from a _friendly mentor_.

Kurt just shook his head. "I just don't feel well and now lunch is over so let's go." He got up and gathered up his books leaving Blaine sitting on the bed in silence. "We should leave now if we want to get to class on time."

The older boy mirrored Kurt's actions a minute later, throwing away the food and gathering the books before he and Kurt walked off to their last classes of the day.

…

If Kurt believed in god he would be thanking him for the fact that there wasn't a scheduled Warblers practice that night. When there was practice Kurt and Blaine would walk there together and then grab dinner afterwards, but tonight, dinner wasn't really in Kurt's schedule.

After Blaine had walked Kurt to class after lunch, they hadn't talked to each other at all. Kurt felt somewhat guilty of his actions, knowing that he was the cause of all this unnecessary drama, but he knew that what he was doing was worth it. In a matter of time, Kurt would be perfect and that voice in the back of his head would be quieted once and for all.

So when Blaine texted Kurt asking him why he wasn't at dinner, Kurt ignored the text and took out his pajamas to get into bed. Granted, it was still early, but he knew that Blaine, like the worried mentor he was, would come to his room and try to drag him to dinner. That was why he would conveniently be in bed at that time.

He let his blazer fall from his shoulders and carefully unbuttoned his shirt. Kurt raised his head and was met by the sight of his giant body in the mirror. His pink lip quivered as he once again pinched at the skin and fat on his porcelain body.

_I hardly even ate today and I still look like this._ Kurt's thoughts were racing around in his head. _It was that damn lunch I ate. _

After taking a few moments to calm himself, finish dressing, and completing his moisturizing regime, Kurt slid into bed and pulled the covers up to his chin. He brought his thighs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his knees, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to force sleep to overcome his body.

It wasn't even ten minutes later that his phone sounded with another text and there was knocking at his door, no doubt from Blaine. Kurt didn't move from his spot until the knocking ceased.

…

Blaine walked down to dinner not knowing what to expect. He knew that something was wrong with Kurt; he just didn't know what exactly. The bright eyed boy wasn't eating and that scared Blaine, but he was saying that he didn't feel good so maybe he was just being paranoid.

He sat down at the table in between Nick and Flint who continued their conversation when they saw Blaine's 'leave-me-alone-I-am-currently-deep-in-thought' expression. He wasn't focusing on his food or even anything in the room, but rather the one person who wasn't in the room at the moment.

Blaine waited ten minutes before deciding that Kurt wasn't going to come and he should go see if anything's wrong or if he needed anything. The curly haired boy had already sent him a text to which Kurt still had yet to reply to and Kurt _always _had his phone.

He knocked on Kurt's door for at least five minutes before coming to the conclusion that it was no use to keep on persisting. The only thing that Blaine knew for certain right now was that something was wrong with Kurt and he was going to find out what it was.

**I was absolutely overwhelmed by the amount of reviews, favorites, and alerts. Thank you all so much, it really does mean the world to me. **

**I made Dalton a boarding school for this story if you happened to skip over the scene of Kurt waking up, breakfast, dinner, and Kurt going to bed. Just a heads up. And Liam is important for a later chapter; that scene with him in it wasn't just a pointless thing.**

**Review?**


	3. Chapter 2

**I don't own Glee.**

Kurt and Blaine walked down the large hallway in silence. To the students passing on, they would look at the boys once and not give them a second thought. It seemed like everything at the moment was normal, but it reality: it really _wasn't._

The silence was awkward. It was the type of silence where each person involved would search their brains for something to say just to fill it, but right now, neither of them had anything to say to the other. Blaine was still suspicious about Kurt and his recent behavior and Kurt knew it. After last night when Blaine had knocked on Kurt's door for ten minutes and Kurt didn't answer, pretending to be asleep when both boys knew he wasn't, Blaine knew something was wrong.

When Blaine opened the door to the cafeteria, each boy silently breathed a sigh of relief to see the normal chaos that was Dalton Academy in the morning hours. Sure it was a boarding school and each boy had even better manners than the next, but when you have a room full of hungry boys early in the morning, all fighting for food and laughing with their friends, things were bound to get a little loud. Thankfully, their shouts effectively filled the silence.

Once again, Blaine turned to the line for breakfast and found that the lighter haired boy wasn't behind him. With a sigh the older boy dropped his plate and made his way to where Kurt was sitting besides Thad.

"Kurt, why aren't you getting any breakfast?" Blaine sat down in the seat next to Kurt and turned to the boy, grabbing his hand when he didn't face him right away. The dark haired boy tried to keep the concern from his voice, but failed slightly.

"I'm not hungry." Kurt said nonchalantly like it was perfectly normal not to eat for a whole day before turning back to Thad who shot a weird look to Blaine. Blaine, however, was to busy staring at Kurt to notice the questioning glance from the fellow Warbler.

"Kurt," Blaine started carefully, not knowing how to say this without bossing the small boy around. Kurt definitely would not like that. "You haven't eaten for the past day. You must be at least a little bit hungry."

Kurt turned around once again, an unreadable expression on his face. The blue eyed boy felt the gnawing sensation of guilt rise in the pit of his belly. He didn't want to lie to Blaine or cause him any worries, but in his mind, he had to. _Don't feel guilty; I'm doing this _for _him. He'll be happy soon enough._

"Blaine, I'm a big boy. When I get hungry I'll eat. Simple as that." Kurt lied perfectly, praising himself mentally for being such a good actor.

Blaine's thick eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Can you just eat a little bit? For me?" The curly haired boy looked like a sad puppy and Kurt couldn't help but melt at the sight of it.

Kurt was silent for a few moments. What was he supposed to say to that? If he refused again, he would end up looking like a jerk and upsetting Blaine which was the last thing he wanted to do. If he agreed, he would hate himself. That voice in the back of his head was protesting vehemently, reminding Kurt of what he looked like in the mirror and how it would just get worse if he ate. _You think you look bad now? Go ahead and eat. See what happens._

All those calories and fats would just add to the problem. If he was repulsive now, eating certainly wouldn't help and no one including Blaine would ever give him a second glance. He was thoroughly at a loss at what to do.

"Please?" His lower lip jutted out to form the perfect pout and Kurt simply couldn't resist.

Kurt groaned in frustration. _Why can't I have this one thing? Why won't Blaine just leave me alone and let me do this?_

"Fine! I'll get some freaking food. Are you happy now?" Kurt snapped icily and shot up from his chair, stomping to the line and glaring at Blaine who was trying to hide a smile of accomplishment. Although being on the younger boys bad side was something Blaine would always avoid at all costs, right now he didn't mind.

"Good." Blaine nodded and walked behind Kurt grabbing toast, bacon, eggs, sausage, and various other foods. The older boy frowned deeply when he caught a glance of what was on Kurt's plate. Or more accurately what wasn't on Kurt's plate.

"Kurt, when I meant getting food, I didn't mean get a few pieces of fruit." Kurt ignored Blaine and made his way back to the table with a huff.

"Kurt! Can you just stop with the attitude and wait?" Blaine didn't mean to snap, but Kurt was being so frustrating. They were always honest with each other and right now Blaine could tell that there was something that Kurt was hiding.

If looks could kill, Blaine would be six feet under right now. "I'm not a child. I don't need to be taken care of. Just drop it!"

"Kurt, I just want you to be honest with me." Blaine reached for Kurt's hand but met air when Kurt stood up abruptly.

"I'm going to go. I'll see you later." Kurt strode out of the room, not turning around when Blaine called out to him.

"I'm sorry man. He'll come around." David patted Blaine's back as the boy rubbed his eyes tiredly with the heels of his palm.

Blaine opened his eyes and saw Kurt's plate which was untouched.

….

Kurt leaned against the wall outside of the cafeteria, breathing in and out, and trying to sort out his jumbled thoughts. Storming out like a drama queen was the last thing he wanted to do, but Blaine just wouldn't leave him alone and that plate of food was _taunting_ him. He had to get out of there.

"Are you okay?" Kurt nearly jumped a foot in the air at the sudden voice intruding his thoughts.

"Jesus. Calm down, It's not like I'm going to murder you." Liam stood in front of Kurt, hands up in mock surrender, looking over the boy who was now clutching his heart and glaring.

"Thanks for the reassurance." Kurt mumbled bitterly. "Why are you even here?"

"I don't know. Isn't this what normal people do? You know, see someone who looks like shit and ask them if there cool?" The taller boy tucked a strand of long hair behind his ear and looked down at Kurt with his dark eyes.

"I guess you never striked me as a normal person." Kurt pushed himself off the wall and crossed his hands over his chest.

"Well, you're a bitch." Liam noted bluntly, a hint of amusement in his voice. "This is surprising."

"How so?" Kurt raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow in question.

"I don't know. I guess you never striked me as a mean person." His lips turned up into a crooked smirk as he mocked the smaller boy.

Kurt however, was not amused in the slightest. "I can see why no one likes you." With that he turned and began to walk away, but didn't get far before Liam and his long legs were walking besides him.

"That's not true. A lot of people like me, just not any of these prep boys." Kurt chose to ignore him and kept walking. "Anyway, are you okay? I saw what went down in there with Blaine. Well, I saw you storm out in a hissy fit so I'm assuming Blaine did something that got your panties in a twist."

"I'm fine." Kurt said stonily and adjusted the bag on his shoulder. "I would really appreciate it if you left me alone now though."

Liam nodded thoughtfully before patting Kurt's shoulder. "If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always come to me."

Kurt finally turned to look at the boy beside him. He raised an eyebrow in question to which Liam chuckled. 'Okay, I guess I didn't mean you could talk to me. I was thinking more along the lines of drowning our sorrows together."

The brunette rolled his eyes. "Go away Liam."

With another strong pat on the shoulder, Liam nodded and walked off.

…

Today was becoming a long string of unexpected events; one after another. The fight at breakfast, the unexpected comfort from the mysterious Liam, a pop quiz in his science class, and now walking outside of his class and finding Blaine waiting for him like he usually did. Kurt almost snorted at the irony of something they did everyday being unexpected, but after their fight, he hadn't expected to talk to Blaine for a while.

"Hey." Kurt greeted cautiously, falling into step with the slightly shorter boy like they normally did.

"We need to talk." Blaine said softly, grabbing Kurt's hand gently and pulling him to the side of the quiet hallway. It was lunch time so not many people other than Kurt and Blaine were occupying it.

Kurt wasn't sure what to think about the fact that Blaine never dropped Kurt's hand, but passed it off as a friendly gesture. _A gesture that will always be friendly if you don't make an effort, _The voice in his head reminded him.

"Listen Kurt, I'm sorry if I was being pushy or too bossy, but we're always honest with each other. There's something going on with you and I don't know if you're sick or stressed out, but you have to eat or talk to me. You're really making me worry." By the time Blaine was done, Kurt wanted to kick himself in the face.

Blaine was right; Kurt just didn't know what to do. "I'm sorry. I know that I've been acting weird lately. It's just I have so much work to do and I miss home and my friends and I feel like I stand out here too much. It also doesn't help that I feel like I'm coming down with something."

Kurt bit his lip softly; worrying that Blaine would catch the lie. It seemed that that was all he was doing lately; lying. All his worried melted away as he felt a pair of strong arms pull him into a strong chest that smelled strongly of Blaine.

"I'm sorry. I should have noticed sooner that you were having a hard time. You know that you could always come to me for help, right Kurt?" Blaine pushed Kurt to arms length so he could look into his eyes. The amount of sincerity floating in the warm depths of green and gold was overwhelming.

Kurt nodded numbly and felt himself be pulled into a hug once again. If Kurt didn't feel bad enough before, he certainly did now. Here was perfect Blaine feeling bad about a problem of Kurt's that he didn't even cause. _It will all be okay. _Kurt reassured himself. _Soon you will be amazing and beautiful and Blaine will be happy with you. Blaine will be happy soon enough. _

The hug ended too soon for Kurt's taste, but Kurt never got the chance to protest, for Blaine had already began pulling Kurt down the hallway and talking. "It's lunch time so we should go get some food into you."

With those words, Kurt's mind began racing. He had just told Blaine a lie about why he was acting how he was and not eating now would just cause Blaine to know he wasn't truthful and something was up.

What was he going to say?

Blaine pushed him forward into the line for food, putting a plate in his slightly shaking hands. Kurt's stomach churned at the sight of all the food that had the ability to ruin him.

How was he going to get out of this?

The pale boy barely registered the fact that Blaine was happily chatting behind him as he numbly put food on his plate without looking. _So many calories,_ he thought as his eyes flickered down to his body. His pear hips, large thighs, and fat stomach.

What could he do?

His body was on auto pilot as he sat down at the table next to Blaine who was still chatting away like there was nothing wrong in the world. Kurt's throat felt thick and his tongue was abnormally dry. The food on his plate seemed to be cruelly staring at him, taunting him, laughing at him and Kurt couldn't help but feel crazy.

How was he going to get through this?

Blaine nudged him and nodded his head towards his plate, showing Kurt that he had noticed and wanted him to eat. The fork in his shaky hand felt like it weighed twenty pounds.

"Hey, Blaine. Can you do me a favor?" A chubby boy with a mop of black wavy hair on top of his head stood behind Blaine's chair. Kurt could've kissed him if it weren't for the fact that he was in love with the boy sitting besides him.

"Oh, hey Mark. What can I do for you?" Kurt took this opportunity to drop his fork quietly on the table and push the hated plate away.

"I need help with my Geometry homework and I was wondering if you could explain it to me." Mark smiled hopefully and Blaine, being the polite guy he was, of course nodded and stood up, following the freshman over to his table. Kurt let out a giant sigh of relief.

"Kurt! My main man! What's happening?" Nick dropped ungracefully down into the seat that Blaine had just recently been occupying.

"Hello Nick." Kurt turned to his friend, effectively removing his food from his line of vision.

"Kurt? Are you going to eat that?" Nick asked, eyeing the food. "I got to lunch late and all the good stuff was taken." The boy added sadly.

Kurt's lips grew into a smile as he pushed the plate to Nick. "Of course. I wasn't hungry anyway, not to mention the fact that all that food would go straight to my hips." Nick gave him a strange look before wolfing down the food.

By the time Blaine came back to the table, Nick had left, leaving the plate of only crumbs behind. Kurt slid the plate in front of him as the curly haired boy sat down.

"Hi again." Blaine greeted before looking down at Kurt's plate with a smile. The older boy didn't say anything about it, but with the smile that graced his face, he didn't have to.

…

"I'll miss you." Blaine said to Kurt as they walked down the stairs. The same stairs that Kurt and Blaine had met on the day Kurt first came to spy on the Warblers. Both boys had a smile on their faces as they recounted the memory.

"Blaine, I'm leaving for the weekend. That's only two days before I'm back and you can text me every minute if you'd like." Kurt went home every weekend that he could. Sometimes there would be times when the weather would be too bad to drive in or he would have too much homework and studying to do like the weekend before exams, but that was only sometimes.

"I'll be sure to do that." Blaine chuckled as he held the door open for Kurt and followed him to the parking lot.

"You're ridiculous. You won't miss me that much. There are plenty of people to keep you company." Kurt unlocked his passenger door to put his bag on the seat and then walked around to the other side.

"Oh but I will. These boys can be very chaotic and I am going to miss having someone sane around." Blaine protested, leaning against the side of the car.

"I'll be back before you know it and if that's so true, how did you survive before I came here?" Kurt played with the keys in his hand, not wanting to leave just yet. The setting sun was lighting up Blaine's gorgeous face and Kurt felt completely content with just staying there and watching him. Not in a creepy way of course, just in a completely in love way.

"I honestly don't know." The small boy admitted with a smile and then added "I don't want to keep you from your family. It's a long drive."

Kurt just nodded before giving Blaine a hug and unlocking the car door. "Bye, Blaine."

"Bye Kurt." Blaine said with a small wave as Kurt got into the car and drove away out of the parking lot.

…

The car ride home was exactly what Kurt needed to clear his head. His iPod played his favorite songs and he sang along quietly. Being alone gave him time to not worry about what everyone was thinking about him. He was able to breathe without thinking about his body image or the food that made him look the way he did.

Of course that feeling flew out the window when he arrived home and was ushered into the dining room immediately for a family dinner.

"Hey kiddo! Come on in to the kitchen. Carole's been slaving away making dinner all day and it smells great!" His dad exclaimed as he pushed him towards the dining room.

"Dude! You're home! We can finally eat! I'm starving." His giant of a step brother exclaimed when Finn spotted him. The expression on his face resembled one of a child's on Christmas morning.

"Oh honey, great timing!" Carole cheerfully said as Kurt walked into the kitchen. "The chicken just finished roasting." She kissed his cheek tenderly and turned back to preparing the food.

The next thing he knew, he was sitting at the table with a plate full of food in front of him. _Don't freak out. Don't freak out._ Kurt repeated the phrase over and over again in his head as everyone around him began to eat. _How do they do that?_

"This is awesome mom!" The words were barely recognizable due to the food being chewed in Finn's mouth. Carole smiled and thanked her son before turning to her own food and eating with much more manners.

Kurt didn't understand how a utensil could be so heavy, but the fork in his hand seemed to weigh much more than it should. The only thing he was doing was pushing the food around on his plate like he was suddenly five again.

"Kurt? Kid, you okay?" His dad's gruff voice snapped him out of his thoughts and back to reality.

He looked up at his dad with a smile that didn't reach his eyes and nodded quickly. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

"What do you mean you're fine? You haven't eaten a bite of your food." Kurt really did love his dad, but there were moments like now when he wished that he would just leave him alone.

"I haven't been feeling well and although the food looks lovely," He flashed an apologetic smile to Carole "I'm not all that hungry." He put his fork down and took a drink of his water to wet his dry throat.

"You should go get some rest." Burt frowned slightly in concern and Carole placed a hand against his forehead.

"I don't feel a temperature, but your dad's right. You should go and get some sleep." Finn frowned at Kurt before taking his plate and proceeding to eat the food on it.

Kurt didn't hear Carole scold Finn about bad manners, for he had already left to go up to his room.

The rest of his weekend passed in a similar fashion. Breakfast and lunch weren't hard to skip without raising suspicion due to his dad working at the garage and Finn and Carole going out for various reasons. During dinner time he would stay in his room pretending to sleep which gave the illusion that he still wasn't feeling well. For that reason, he wasn't allowed to go out with Mercedes or Tina like he wanted to. Sunday came too quickly for Kurt's liking and it took some convincing on his part to make his dad believe that he wasn't sick enough to miss school and he was able to drive back to Dalton that night.

Their goodbyes were sad and drawn out, but eventually and reluctantly Kurt got back in his car and began his two hour drive back to Westerville. It was time to return back to his somewhat miserable life.

**I'm sorry that this took so long to get up. I don't think that it will be too long before the next chapter is up because it's already planned out, though. And let me tell you, shit's going down. Be warned. **

**Review?**


	4. Chapter 3

**I don't own Glee.**

Kurt turned off his car and sent a text to Blaine letting him know that he had arrived back at Dalton Academy. Whenever he got back at school, Blaine would always meet him outside and they would walk in together and hang out before the Warblers rehearsal. His phone buzzed loudly signaling a text.

**I'm coming out now. See you soon :) **

**-Blaine**

A smile grew on his pink lips as he pocketed his iPhone and grabbed his bag from the passenger's seat. All of a sudden, a small knocking noise came from his window.

"Liam! If you want to speak to me then approach me like a normal human being and don't scare me." Kurt snapped as he got out of the car and tried to regain a normal heart rate.

"I thought you said I wasn't normal and not scaring you? Where's the fun in that?" Liam teased, once again blatantly looking Kurt over. Kurt didn't know how to feel about the attention Liam was giving him. He liked being wanted, but he wanted it to be Blaine who wanted him. _Just wait. Soon enough. You'll be perfect and he'll love you._

"What do you want?" Kurt asked as he rested against the side of his car, feeling slightly dizzy. The wave of nausea subsided as Liam began talking once again.

"I was in the parking lot and saw you so I came to say hi. Is there anything wrong with greeting a friend?" The taller boy shook his long hair out of his dark eyes and looked down at Kurt with an amused grin on his face.

"I didn't know we were friends." Kurt pushed himself off the car and began walking towards the door were Blaine was supposed to meet him. He concentrated on the simple movement of walking that seemed to be weirdly harder at the moment.

"Oh, that hurts. Deeply." Liam placed a hand over his heart dramatically and smirked at the boy he was walking besides. "Anyway, I have a proposition for you."

"And what would that be?" Kurt questioned curiously while wondering where Blaine was. Usually he met him out in he parking lot near his car, but now he was nearing the door and the older boy was no where to be seen.

"Come to a party with me." Liam stated, saying the words as more of a demand than a question.

Kurt was about to respond, but another voice spoke first. A voice that he knew and loved all to well.

"Hey, Kurt. Liam." The curly haired boy said Liam's name in a questioning tone rather than a greeting.

"Hi Blaine. Liam was just leaving." Kurt spoke to Blaine but was staring at Liam who chuckled at Kurt's words.

"Alright, I guess I'm leaving, but Kurt? Think about my proposition." With that, Liam turned around and left in the opposite direction that he and Blaine were headed.

"What does he mean about a proposition?"

Kurt finally turned around to look at Blaine. He had left his hair free of the gel cage today and a loose curl fell on his forehead. Kurt resisted the urge to move it out of his face. "He said something about a party. I don't really know." Kurt waved off the matter with a nonchalant tone and opened the front door to Dalton.

Blaine nodded thoughtfully. "How was your weekend?" He asked with a smile.

_I didn't eat at all. I stayed in bed and moped around. It was awesome. _"It was…" Kurt struggled to find the right word. "Calm."

The other boy raised one of his thick eyebrows questioningly. "Calm?"

"Yeah. Nothing too exciting happened. I mostly relaxed." Well that wasn't _too_ much of a lie.

"Sounds nice." Blaine commented as he turned the corner and started to walk down the hallway lined with doors that led to various boys rooms.

Kurt nodded once, but stopped and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't know why his head was spinning, but it was and he really wanted to sit down right now. Simple movements like nodding and walking sent his head reeling.

"What do you feel like doing today?" Blaine asked Kurt as he opened his dorm room door and stepped inside.

"I don't know. Anything that doesn't involve a lot of movement and work." Kurt replied, dropping his bag carelessly onto the ground besides the door. When Kurt was dropping his stuff on the ground like it didn't matter, you knew something was up.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked quickly, instinctively taking a step closer to Kurt and reaching out to take his hand.

Kurt nodded his head. "Just tired from the long drive." Blaine seemed satisfied with the answer and dropped the smooth hand gently before going to sit down on his bed. Kurt's hand tingled at the sudden coldness left from Blaine's warm hand as he too dropped down on to Blaine's bed.

Kurt stretched out on his friend's bed, burying his head into a pillow that smells overwhelmingly like Blaine and his shampoo. For the most part, the room was quiet apart from Kurt's deep peaceful sighs and the melodic humming from the curly haired boy. Kurt was sure he was about to drift off into sleep if it wasn't for Blaine grabbing his guitar from the stand in the corner.

If that guitar was a person, he's pretty sure that Blaine would be married to it. The older boy strummed lightly on the strings, singing under his breath, and bouncing his head to the music, a few curls falling on his face as he did so. Thoughts of sleep left Kurt's mind as he watched the boy in front of him.

Blaine looked extremely peaceful and relaxed with a small smile tugging at his lips. After a while of just staring at the boy in front of him, Kurt propped his head up on his hand and hummed along to the tune being played. Apparently the quiet humming coming from Kurt was enough to catch Blaine's attention because he looked up to meet Kurt's gaze with a smile.

"I thought you were asleep." Blaine admitted, never stopping his strumming.

"I'm not." Kurt stated the obvious fact simply and rolled onto his back. Blaine chuckled before returning to his singing, the volume a little louder now that he knew he wouldn't be waking his friend up.

Kurt's eyes roamed around the room he had been in so many times before. Everything about it was so… Blaine (excluding the posters of girls in bikinis courtesy of Jeff, Blaine's roommate). There were the Harry Potter posters and the desk was covered with various books that had long and complicated titles. His nightstand held the case for his glasses and a pile of CD's from a wide variety of genres. From his spot on the bed, he can see the counter in the bathroom that held various bottles of hair gel and other hair products. A guitar stand stood in the corner, empty right now due to the fact that is was currently in Blaine's strong hands. Over his desk was a bulletin board covered in pictures.

Most of the pictures were of Blaine and the Warbler's out performing or hanging out. There were a few shots of Blaine as a child, chubby cheeks and all that made Kurt smile and his heart flutter. Then his bright eyes passed over a picture that made his features morph into a disgusted expression.

It was a picture of Kurt and Blaine from when they had gone to the park on an abnormally warm day for Ohio in autumn. Kurt couldn't remember who exactly took the picture, but he could remember that day. Blaine had invited Kurt to go to the park with a few of the Warbler's a few days after he had first transferred. Despite having other friends, Kurt and Blaine stuck together through out the whole day, from holding hands on the swings and singing songs to going down the slide together.

In the picture, Blaine and Kurt were sitting on top of the monkey bars, legs swinging beneath them as they chatted about random topics. It had taken some convincing on Blaine's part to get Kurt to climb up, but in the end, it was worth it.

"_Come on, Kurt. It's fun!" Blaine exclaimed from his place on top of the monkey bars. He swung his legs back and forth in the air like an overactive child and tilted his head back to soak up the warm sun._

"_Absolutely not. I'm not risking ruining these jeans" Kurt said as he gestured to the pair of white skin tight jeans he was wearing "and I would probably just fall face first anyway." _

_The hazel eyed boy chuckled and shook his head. "I doubt you'll ruin your jeans and I'll catch you if you fall." _

_With those words, Kurt melted and smiled. How could he say no to that, especially now with his adorable smile? Not only did he begin to climb to the curly haired boy, but he wondered whether he should accidentally fall. It wouldn't be a bad thing to have Blaine catch him._

Kurt shook the loved memory out of his head and rolled off the bed to go look at the picture closely. "Why do you have this picture?" He groaned as he bent down in front of it and frowned at himself. His stomach was thick from what he could see and his hips looked enormous. If Kurt got his way, this picture would be burned and never spoken of again.

Blaine looked up from his beloved guitar and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"It's a horrible picture." Kurt stated and turned around to face the confused expression on Blaine's face.

"I like that picture. I think it's awesome." He tilted his head slightly and raised an eyebrow at Kurt.

"Easy for you to say, you actually look decent in that picture." Kurt sat down in the desk chair, ignoring the creeping feeling of light headedness that was threatening to overtake him. Instead, he focused his attention on Blaine and his now incredulous expression.

"What are you talking about? You look fine. There's nothing wrong with that picture." Blaine defended his favorite photo.

Kurt snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and I like girls." His voice dripped with sarcasm and a frown appeared on Blaine's pink lips.

"I love that picture and I think we both look great." Blaine said defiantly, looking over to the clock. "Oh! We have to get going. Warblers practice."

The pair of boys stood up and made their way out of the room and to the rehearsal. Their walk was accompanied by silence. To Blaine, the quietness was comfortable and perfect, but to Kurt, the silence was a miracle. His head was currently spinning and he didn't think that he would be able to form coherent sentences without having to sit down.

Kurt's body was working on auto pilot and he couldn't really remember how he ended up sitting on the big leather sofa besides Blaine and Trent. His brain registered the fact that the council was talking, but about what, Kurt was clueless. He could feel Blaine's knee occasionally bouncing off of his own, a small movement that was making him dizzier than should be possible.

He only noticed everybody getting up when Blaine pulled him off of the couch gently, telling him something about David needing to push the furniture out of the way so they could go through the choreography.

When Kurt had moved to Dalton, he had had to do a lot of catching up. There was all that school work that he had to get up to speed on and then there was the whole style of a cappella that he needed to figure out, but the dance steps of the Warblers numbers were something he definitely never had anything to worry about. At McKinley, the porcelain skinned boy not only mastered tons of the New Directions choreography, but he also had the Cheerios intense routines to perfect, so the Dalton boys and their hop skip step moves were a piece of cake.

At least that's what Kurt had thought until today. They got into their places and began their routine and all Kurt could think about was how heavy his feet were feeling and how the room was not supposed to be spinning like this. Still, Kurt powered through the first song, only stumbling a few times.

It was the second time that got him. Again, they began to move and Kurt was thinking about anything but the choreography. Everyone around him was moving and right now to Kurt it was really confusing and he tried to hop to the side but ended up tripping over his own foot and falling forward.

He hit a body in front of him and was caught by strong arms, stopping his seemingly inevitable meeting with the floor. "'Kurt? Are you okay?" Blaine's voice dripped with worry as he supported the slender boy in his arms.

Kurt waved the concern off limply with his shaking hand. "I'm fine. I just tripped. I'm sorry." He stood up and blushed when he noticed everybody looking at him with various degrees of concern, Blaine being the worst. "Let's just move on, shall we?"

Wes nodded and called out for everybody to take it from the top, despite Blaine's protests that Kurt should go lay down.

This time when the music started, Blaine focused on Kurt's moves more than his own. Kurt didn't notice though, all he was focused on was moving his feet without having the world sway dangerously. His head was swirling and his body wouldn't move the way he wanted it to. It seemed that everybody and the room they were in was all moving and spinning quicker than should be humanly possible and all the movement was giving Kurt a migraine.

His head pounded dangerously as he spun for a dance move. The sounds weren't quite reaching his ears, for the rushing blood was deafening any noise in the room. The pale skin of his body felt too tight, if that was even possible. It was all becoming too much, and Kurt's world tilted dangerously and his vision danced with black spots.

His body slumped lifelessly forward and Blaine sprung into action, catching him in his arms. The last thing Kurt saw was Blaine's warm green and gold eyes filled to the brim with utmost concern before his world turned black completely.

**Oh man. Shit went down. And by shit, I mean Kurt. **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, alerted, and favorited. It means the world to me and really motivates me to write. I love you all!**

**Review?**


	5. Chapter 4

**(This chapter was edited because of the grammar mistakes that some pointed out. It would have really irritated me if I didn't fix it. I can't believe I missed that stuff, so thank you for pointing it out! Hopefully the next chapter will be out soon.)**

**I don't own Glee.**

The second that Kurt's body slumped forward lifelessly, Blaine jumped into action, catching the slender boy easily and lowering him to lie on the ground with his limp head in his lap. His eyelids drooped dramatically before finally sliding shut all the way and Blaine couldn't help but notice that Kurt was even paler than normal. There was noisy commotion whirling all around him as Wes shouted orders and banged his gavel frantically, telling some boys to get the nurse and others to give them space, but Blaine wasn't paying attention to them and neither where the Warblers apparently. They had formed a curious circle around the pair and were voicing their concerns.

"Is he okay? He looks pretty bad." Jeff stated bluntly.

"Dude, he went down pretty hard. I'm surprised you caught him in time." Nick added.

"Why is no one listening to me? Order!" Wes' shouts were once again drowned out by the noise in the room as he struck the nearest surface with his gavel.

"Kurt, come on, you have to wake up." Blaine brushed the strands of hair away from his clammy forehead and shook him gently, ignoring everyone else except Kurt. He was currently trying to keep as calm as he could which was hard seeing as he was holding Kurt's unresponsive body in his hands.

"Please, Kurt, open your eyes for me. Kurt, you have to wake up." His voice teetered on the edge of panic and he swallowed thickly. Blaine readjusted his arms so that one was under the crook of his knees and the other was behind his sticky neck. With one swift movement, Blaine hauled himself up with Kurt in his arms.

What he felt in his arms made Blaine very afraid. He had picked Kurt up before when they were playing around and although Kurt was an inch or two taller, he was surprisingly light. But right now, he was lighter than should be healthy. His normally calm exterior began to crumple as the panic he was feeling inside shone on his face and in his eyes. '_I made sure Kurt ate. This doesn't make any sense.' _He thought.

"Blaine?" Kurt's questioning croak broke him out of his unpleasant thoughts and brought his attention down to the now awake boy in his arms.

"Oh my god, Kurt. You're awake!" Blaine let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and smiled widely with relief. He continued moving out of the room and down the hallway towards the nurse. "You had me so scared."

"Can you let me down? I'm fine." Kurt's voice was scratchy and dry and sounded like he had just woken up from death. Blaine's heart clenched painfully.

"No you aren't. Kurt, you just fainted." The curly haired boy's voice was determined and had an edge of emotion that Kurt couldn't quite place his finger on.

"But I woke up so that means that I'm fine and you can let me down. Where are you bringing me anyway?" Kurt weakly swiveled his head around to take in his surroundings, but stopped after his head started to spin again dizzily. Fainting again certainly would not help his argument.

"To the nurse, of course." Blaine said obviously. The shorter boy reached a pair of doors and turned around to push them open with his back and not jostle Kurt in his arms.

Kurt's eyes widened visibly and filled with fear. "No, Blaine, put me down. Please, you have to let me go." The pale boy's mind raced with terror filled thoughts and his voice came out rushed and panicked. _They're going to find out. They're going to fill me with food and calories and fat. I have to get out of here. Why won't Blaine let me leave? I'm doing this for him. _

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked softly and held Kurt a little tighter at his worry and struggles, walking towards one of the beds in the nurse's wing.

"Nothing, I just need to be let down. Put me down." Kurt insisted and kept struggling against Blaine's hold on him, accidentally kicking him a few times. He would have felt bad in any other situation, but right now he just needed to get out before he started hyperventilating.

"Fine, I'll put you down, just stop kicking me." Blaine agreed reluctantly and dropped him onto a bed gently right as the nurse walked in.

"What seems to be the problem boys?" The nurse said in an overly cheery tone as she assessed the situation in front of her, dropping a few papers on her desk and making her way over to the boys.

"Nothing at all." Kurt insisted quickly at the same time that Blaine told the old woman he had fainted. Kurt shot Blaine an icy glare and Blaine raised a thick eyebrow in half questioning and half concern. Kurt seemed adamant that he was fine when every one knew he obviously wasn't and Blaine had no clue as to why.

"Oh, you poor darling." She murmured and raced around the room, picking up various instruments. Kurt's lips pointed down with a frown and his eyebrows furrowed in a worried fashion. He folded his arms over his chest and rolled over to face Blaine who had taken the seat next to the bed and was staring at Kurt in concern.

"I told you I was fine." Kurt snapped weakly at him, his tone not as bitchy as it could be.

"Kurt," Blaine started and grabbed Kurt's soft hand, "I'm really worried about you. Please don't be angry, something is wrong and you're not talking to me." Kurt's stomach swirled guiltily at Blaine's hurt and soft tone.

"Blaine, I assure you that you don't have to worry about me. I have everything under control." Kurt insisted. He had to make sure that Blaine wouldn't worry about him. He wanted to let him know that he could take care of himself and that Blaine didn't have to feel troubled about this. That was the last thing Kurt wanted.

Blaine's eyebrows furrowed and multiple emotions crossed through his face. He opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again when the nurse returned and helped Kurt to sit up.

Blaine was vaguely aware of the nurse taking Kurt's temperature and blood pressure as he got lost in his own thoughts. The older boy knew that something was wrong and the fact that Kurt refused to talk about it and was pretending that everything was all right even after he fainted scared him. Then Kurt had said that he didn't have to worry and he had everything under control, but Blaine couldn't _not _worry and Kurt didn't have to take care of everything himself. He had to realize that Blaine could help him and that he _wanted to help him._

"Honey? Are you okay?" The old woman waved a hand in front of Blaine's blank face and snapped him back to reality and out of his thoughts.

"I'm fine." Blaine said and looked over to Kurt who had his arms crossed over his chest in more of a protective manner than one of anger.

The nurse nodded and added "That's good; I don't need another one passing out today." Neither boy laughed at her attempted joke.

"Anyway, Kurt, honey, your blood pressure is dangerously low. All I can do for you here is give you some crackers and juice. I advise you to go to the hospital from here. You should be checked out and see if there is anything else wrong. I'm going to go call your parents and have them pick you up and bring you." The older boy shook his head knowing that his parents lived two hours away and he didn't want to take the chance that something could go wrong during said hours.

"Wait!" Blaine called out to the nurse before she walked away. "I can bring him. His parents are in Lima and they could take up to two hours to get here. I can take Kurt and they can meet us there." Blaine told the nurse who patted his shoulder.

"You are such a kind boy. I'm going to go phone his father." She walked off and Blaine turned back to Kurt who sat on the bed, not touching his crackers or juice that he had been given.

"Kurt, can you walk or do you want me to carry you again?" Blaine asked, standing up from the chair.

"Neither, seeing as I will not be going to the hospital." The blue-green-gray eyed boy swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up on shaky legs still managing to somehow look graceful. Blaine was over at his side in seconds.

"You don't really have a choice. The nurse just called your dad, so you can have me bring you or you can refuse to go and have your dad drag you out of this school in two hours." Blaine looped a strong arm around Kurt's waist when he saw the boys knees quiver subtly.

Kurt was silent for a moment. "You can take me, but I can walk on my own." As much as Kurt wanted to have Blaine hold him and help him walk, putting up a fight and distracting Blaine was for the best right now. It seemed that Blaine hadn't seen the snacks he had been advised to eat and if he could make it out of there without eating, at least one thing would have gone right today. Just the thought of food was making his skin crawl.

"I strongly disagree. Need I remind you yet another time that not less than an hour ago you passed out?" Blaine protested and tightened his hold on Kurt's waist.

Kurt just huffed and began to walk forward, pulling Blaine along with him. "Hey, wait. You forgot your juice."

Crap.

'I'm not hungry." Those words flew out of his mouth without him thinking. They had become instinct to him over the past week. Kurt began to step forward again, but was pulled back by Blaine's strong hold.

"It doesn't matter if you're hungry or not. Your blood pressure is low and I don't know if you pay attention in health class, but that's dangerous. The only way to raise it right now is to eat, so take these and eat." Blaine said sternly and took a deep inhale through his nose. He was trying to keep his frustration under control right now, but Kurt was being so difficult and he needed to eat.

"Blaine, don't worry about it, I'm going to be fine. I don't have to stuff my face with stale crackers and sugary juice." Kurt insisted. "It won't do me any good."

"Yes I will. Now take them before I call the nurse back in here." Blaine didn't care if Kurt was mad at him or not, he needed to be healthy and that was that.

Kurt grabbed them with a huff and rolled his eyes, having no intention whatsoever to actually eat them. "Let's go."

"Thank you. Was that so hard?" Blaine walked Kurt slowly to the parking lot and helped him into the passenger's seat of his car.

"I'm not a goddamn baby. I am capable of buckling my own seatbelt." He snapped when Blaine leaned over his lap and grabbed the seatbelt. Blaine didn't say anything, but he also didn't stop buckling him in. When Blaine got into the drivers seat and started his car an uncomfortable silence hung over the two boys.

The radio sat untouched through the ride, an unusual thing for both Blaine and Kurt. Whenever the two boys were put in a car together you could always expect singing at the top of their lungs and loud carefree laughter.

Kurt usually would apologize by now for snapping, but his mind was currently preoccupied with worry. The crackers had been stuffed into his blazer pocket to give the illusion that they had been eaten and he held his juice box, bringing it up to his lips, but not quite drinking it. The one time he did drink it, the cool liquid felt good against his dry throat and it scared him. He didn't want to be reminded of how it felt to actually let himself eat.

_They are going to find out. They are going to make you eat. They are going to be mad. Blaine will be mad at you for lying to him. They are going to ruin you. How do I get out? I need to get out. _

The pale boy focused on calming his breathing as Blaine drove, occupied by his own thoughts that were trying to solve the mess that he had been thrust into suddenly.

Blaine never had to worry about things like this too much in his life growing up. His parents were wealthy so there were never any money problems and they always made sure he associated with children that had normal parents in their standards. Whenever he was put in a stressful situation, he tended to over worry, having never been exposed to it as much as other children. Putting on a calm exterior and acting perfect for the public eye was what he had been taught to do and that's what he did best in the cool faces of danger or anything slightly chaotic.

The lighter haired boy squeezed his eyes shut to block out the sights of buildings whizzing past the car outside of the window. _They are going to find out soon. It will be all over soon. See what you do? You ruin everything._

The car stopped and Blaine turned off his engine. Kurt didn't open his eyes until the door he was leaning on opened. He would have fallen if it hadn't been for the seatbelt restricting his body.

"Do you need help walking?" Blaine asked and took a step back so Kurt had room to step out of the car.

"No. I am perfectly capable of walking on my own." The words came out harsher than Kurt intended them to be, but Blaine shrugged it off like he had been doing for most of the day and waited patiently for Kurt to step out of the car.

The next hour passed by fairly quickly. Kurt had been admitted and moved to a room where he had blood drawn for tests. Blaine's hand still hurt from the squeeze that Kurt had given him while the needle pricked his skin. Kurt had explained his version of the story to the doctors many times. (He was sick and couldn't eat without throwing it up.)

The whole time, few words were passed between the boys, both lost in thought.

Kurt, thinking about how he could get out of his current situation and what would happen if he couldn't. Blaine, contemplating what was wrong with his best friend and going over every minute of the past week, searching for something small that would tell him why he was lying.

…

Blaine sat in an uncomfortably hard chair against the wall, tapping a nervous tune against his knees. A jug of water and a plastic cup sat on the side table for Kurt to drink from. Kurt sat on the bed with his legs hanging over the edge of the bed, contemplating what would happen if they did find out what he had been doing.

_Dad would definitely be worried. He probably wouldn't leave me alone during the weekend and would shove food down my throat. It would be bad for his heart. _His heart squeezed at the thought of the stress this would put on his dad and his stomach whirled with the concept of food. The first couple of days without food, his stomach had grumbled hungrily and loudly, but after a while the pain edged away to a numbing sensation in his gut. It was something that he could easily ignore and distract himself from.

_Carole would probably approach the matter with a motherly touch, over using the terms 'honey' and 'sweetheart'. But everyone else, oh god. They would look at me like I was a freak. None of them would treat me the same. I would be a basket case in their eyes. Then there wouldn't even be a question of anyone liking me. No one would want to associate with the unstable loser._

Blaine watched Kurt as his perfect brow furrowed in thought. Something was troubling him and it looked like the boy was on the edge of a freak out. Blaine opened his mouth to say something to him in an attempt to comfort him, but shut his mouth when the door flew open.

"Kid, are you okay?" Burt Hummel's gruff and anxious voice broke through the silence and pulled Kurt from his thoughts. Carole rushed in behind him.

"Hey dad. I'm fine." Kurt's lips turned up in a smile that didn't meet his eyes and the three other people in the room were able to see that. No one mentioned it.

"Is that why I got a call from that school telling me that my kid passed out? Now tell me what's wrong." Kurt's dads tone was determined with an edge of loving concern. He sounded bossy, but in this situation, he was allowed to be as bossier than Rachel Berry if he chose to be.

"I've been sick lately. I couldn't eat a lot because of my stomach and I fainted for like ten seconds. No big deal." Kurt avoided Blaine's questioning gaze and kept his fake happy gaze on his father.

Kurt and his father kept talking, but Blaine didn't hear what their conversation was about seeing as Carole had sat besides him and began to speak to him. "I can't say that I'm all that surprised. The poor boy didn't eat at all over the weekend."

Blaine's expression turned into one of confusion. Kurt had told him that he had eaten over the weekend and that time he had come back to lunch, his plate had been empty. He had been making sure that he was eating, hadn't he?

"I need to talk to him." Blaine breathed out in a tired sigh and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms.

Carole's smile was barely contained as she rubbed Blaine's knee. "I'll see what I can do." She said and winked at him knowingly.

Blaine nodded, not giving much thought to what the woman had meant by that. "Where's Finn?" He asked curiously when he noticed the giant of a teenager wasn't anywhere to be found.

"He's at football practice. I didn't think it would be necessary to take him to Westerville for something that could turn out to be nothing." She looked like she was about to say something else but didn't when the door opened once again.

"I have Kurt's test results." Announced a tall woman with a white coat and a name sewn into the pocket. Dr. Baker held a chart in her hands that must have been the results of Kurt's blood tests.

Kurt visibly whitened while Burt and Carole stood up to go greet the doctor. Blaine scooted his chair closer to Kurt who now sat on the bed Indian style and picked at his shoe laces.

_There not going to find out, Kurt. Calm down. It's going to be okay. _Kurt's thoughts were zipping through his mind with worries about everyone finding out.

"His blood iron level was significantly low which usually shows up in someone who is either anemic or dehydrated. His blood sugar level was also low which shows up in patients that haven't eaten for a while or are malnourished. From what Kurt has told us about him being sick and not eating, that fits somewhat, but we'd still like to keep him overnight to run more tests just to make sure. If nothing strange shows up, we can rule this out as severe dehydration. A nurse will be in shortly with an IV and I'll warn you now. The IV may hurt to put in. When dehydrated, veins are harder to find so it may take a few tries to insert the needle, but I'm sure it won't hurt _too much_." The doctor recited the information with a monotone voice and slightly bored expression.

"But other than that, he's going to be okay?" Burt questioned anxiously.

"As long as he keeps drinking the water we gave him and eats something tonight, I don't see why not." She glanced back towards the door as if she was calculating how fast she could run out of the room without the family noticing. _Why can't my family be like that and trust me when I'm fine and then leave me alone? _

"Thank you doctor." Carole thanked the doctor before she left the room.

Turning back around to face the boys, she gave a knowing look to a confused Blaine. She leaned close to Burt and whispered something in his ear.

"I'm going to go call Finn and tell him what's going on." Carole announced and quietly slipped out of the room after dropping a soft kiss onto Kurt's forehead.

"I'm going to go get some coffee. You'll be alright, kid?" Burt asked Kurt before he left the room, too.

Kurt nodded absent mindedly, murmuring his agreement which seemed to be enough for Burt because he left the room with a nod.

"Kurt, we need to talk." Blaine stood up and approached the bed cautiously were Kurt was staring at the wall with an unreadable expression painted on his features. He seemed to be lost in deep thought about something. When Blaine spoke, Kurt's eyes flickered with recognition and he turned to meet Blaine's gaze.

"About what?" He questioned in a stressed and tired voice.

"Why haven't you been eating?" Blaine asked bluntly, needing to get to the bottom of all this mess.

The pale boy floundered for a moment before turning his face to the white wall. "I don't know what you're talking about. You've seen me eat."

"Bullshit. Why haven't you been eating?" Blaine stepped closer to the bed and grabbed Kurt's chin in between his fingers to turn his face to his.

Blaine watched as Kurt's face hardened and his icy mask slipped over his features, taking on a glare and a tight lipped snarl. "The only time I didn't eat was those days before you confronted me about it. I've been eating ever since then." Kurt lied with a snap, protecting his secret.

"Why are you lying to me?" Blaine asked in an incredulous soft tone. His hazel eyes shown with sincerity, hurt, and concern, and they made Kurt's heart clench guiltily.

_You could tell him. You could tell him and it would all be over. This whole mess would all be over and you wouldn't hurt any one else. _

_But if I told him why I wasn't eating, he would shoot me down just like he did on Valentines Day. The only way he would ever be with me is if he actually wanted me. I have to do this._

_There is a small chance that he actually likes you for how you are, you know? Even with your thunder thighs and disgusting body, he could like you for who you are._

_Are you serious? He has already rejected me. I don't need to be told a second time, even I have more pride than that. And if he did become my boyfriend if I told him, it would be out of pity. Blaine is a good person, he would feel bad about this. He would feel like this was his fault. I just need to get through this. In several weeks, this won't be a problem because everyone will want me, Blaine included._

Kurt's thoughts fought each other as Blaine grabbed his hand gently and searched his face. Blaine kept quiet until Kurt responded. "Blaine, I'm not lying. Why don't you trust me?" he asked in an innocent tone and looked up at Blaine with sad eyes.

Something in Blaine snapped at those words. He knew that Kurt was lying and all he wanted to do was help, but Kurt wasn't letting him. He was being so goddamn frustrating and now he was trying to turn this around on him and make it seem like he was the one in the wrong.

"Kurt, don't you dare start with that. I know for a fact that you are lying to me; I talked to Carole and she told me that you didn't eat at all over the weekend! And now you're trying to turn it around on me and accuse me of not trusting you? Of course I trust you, but I don't know why I do because all you have been doing lately is lying to my face!"

"I think it would be best if you left." Kurt said simply after a minute of silence following Blaine's silence. His soft tone and silence in the room sounded eerie after Blaine's loud shouts.

"Kurt, what-"

"Do not make me repeat myself. I don't want to talk to you right now." Kurt rolled over to face the other wall, turning his back to the curly haired boy. His head was swirling with so much confusion and emotion and it was giving him a headache. He squeezed his eyes and willed the hot tears threatening to fall to go away.

Blaine stood in silence before quietly walking out of the room and closing the door with more force than necessary.

At the loud slam, his tears spilled over his pale cheeks, making a wet streak down his skin and a small wet spot on the stiff sheets underneath him. Blaine wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to know that Kurt wasn't eating and he definitely wasn't supposed to yell at Kurt about it. Kurt was at a loss.

He had absolutely no idea what to do. The only thing he was sure about was the fact that he wanted to go back to when he was four and could curl up in his moms lap and cry when he got sad or mad. Her hands would run through his hair and rub his back soothingly as she would sing softy to him and reassure him that he was perfect and everything would be okay.

"Baby, don't worry about it. It's okay. You are perfect and beautiful. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." Her melodic voice would tell him over and over again.

What happened to those days?

**I'm not going to lie; I started crying while writing the ending fight and the stuff about Kurt's mommy. **

**I'm sorry this took so long to get out, it's just I was so distracted with watching Original Song over and over again. I have watched it so many times that I can quote every single scene with Kurt and Blaine in it and that scene between Rachel and Quinn. I'm pretty sure my family is considering selling me. (BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE IT'S CANON!)**

**Oh and, I keep forgetting to tell you that I got a tumblr. I have the same name there as I do here, so go find me and say hi!**

**Review?**


	6. Chapter 5

**I don't own Glee.**

The time that followed Kurt's stay at the hospital was incredibly difficult. He was released after tests showed nothing else that was unordinary with advice to drink lots of fluid and eat nutrious food. Of course with those orders, Kurt was having a silent freak out.

His dad insisted that he stay home from Dalton the day after he was released and Kurt had no choice but to agree. He had learned early on that there was no use in arguing with Burt Hummel when he had already made up his mind.

Burt had also taken the day out of work to specifically watch over Kurt and make sure he was deemed healthy enough to go back to school. That meant that he was making sure Kurt ate.

After he got over his inner panic, Kurt was able to swallow down a couple bites of food under his dad's watchful eye and then hide the rest and make sure his dad believed he had stomached all of it.

Swallowing down those tiny bites was what Kurt had the most problem with. It was a bite of toast that his dad made for him because that was one of Burt Hummel's few specialties. His throat was unbelievably thick and his mouth felt dry which made it all the more harder to swallow it down.

His stomach welcomed the food warmly, but his mind did not. The food made his stomach realize how hungry he was and all that did was scare Kurt and make him not want to eat anymore than he already did.

Fortunately, it was only a day and by the time dinner rolled around, Kurt told his small family that he should drive back to Dalton and he would eat there. Of course, that was a complete and utter lie.

It wasn't until he was driving back to Dalton that his worries hit him on full force.

_Blaine is at Dalton. We had a fight and he probably hates me. Not only that, but he also knows that I'm a liar and something is seriously wrong with me. And even if he does talk to me he's going to bring it up again. Oh god, what am I supposed to do?_

Kurt's brain buzzed with possibilities of Blaine hating him and never speaking to him again. Needless to say, when Blaine texted Kurt later that night, asking him to come by his room and talk, Kurt immediately said yes. And that was how Kurt ended up standing outside of Blaine's door, raising his hand to knock.

It only took one knock before the door swung open to reveal Blaine in a dark hoodie and well fitted jeans. "I'm glad you came." Blaine said with a small unsure smile.

"You said you wanted to talk." Kurt reminded and walked passed Blaine and into the room.

"Yeah." Blaine nodded his head and closed the door behind him. "First of all, I'm sorry about freaking out on you even though I had a right to." The last part came out offhandedly and Kurt wanted to both roll his eyes and smile. The bitch part of Kurt wanted to smack him but the majority of him wanted to hug him for not being mad at him.

"I'm sorry too. I was just tired from all that happened." Kurt sat down on the edge of Blaine's bed and looked up at his friend with happy eyes.

"About that… are you okay? What did the doctors say?" And just like that, Kurt was yet again annoyed with his scruffy friend. Blaine's voice had a concerned edge to it and Kurt found himself wondering why he wouldn't just leave it alone.

_Seriously, I confess my feelings, sing duets, stick up for him, be his best friend and now he chooses to care about me?_

"They said I was fine and it was just dehydration due to my illness." Kurt said each word slowly and loudly as if he was explaining to a five year old or Brittany.

Blaine didn't seem to be affected by his tone of voice, just standing there nodding his head and a mischievous smile creeping on his lips. "So… you're okay? Everything is fine?"

"Yes! I'm pretty sure I just said that!" Kurt exclaimed incredulously and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Okay, well that's great because I have all this food," Blaine said gesturing to his desk where bags of snack foods sat. "And now we can eat them and have a movie night! I mean, if you aren't sick anymore then there should be no reason as to why you can't eat."

_Well, shit. _

Kurt's mouth floundered for a few seconds as he thought up a possible excuse. "Blaine, you can't expect me to eat those unhealthy excuses for food!" The brunette mentally patted himself on the back.

"I thought you would say that, so I took the liberty of getting some of those carrots and fruit you like!" Blaine pointed to a large plastic plate that looked like it belonged at a party.

_Wow, okay. He must really want me to eat. Now what do I do?_

"That's great and all, but I ate dinner before I drove back." Kurt lied easily and shrugged his shoulders.

"That is a lie. Finn texted me and told me that Burt wanted me to make sure you got dinner." Blaine pulled out his phone and showed Kurt his phone.

**Hey dude. Burt wants u 2 make sure K eats. This is Finn btw.**

**-Finn**

"His spelling is atrocious." Kurt said and chuckled nervously, eyeing the floor and his ever so interesting Doc Martens.

"Kurt, come on. You haven't eaten, so let's have some food. Unless there is a reason why you won't eat?" Blaine prompted and waited eagerly for Kurt's response.

_Goddamn sly ass freaking hobbit. _

"Fine. Whatever." Kurt said airily, trying to pass it off with nonchalance in the midst of his inner freak out.

_Okay, deep breaths. Maybe you'll get lucky and some freshman will ask him for help again._

The pale boy resisted the urge to scoff at himself. His foot erratically tapped a nervous beat into the air and his eyes watched Blaine's every move as he dropped random foods onto a paper plate for him.

Drop.

_My thighs. My grotesquely fat thighs are going to look eve worse._

Drop.

_As if my stomach wasn't thick enough. I'm going to look like a whale._

Drop.

_You already look disgusting enough; I wonder what that's going to do to you._

Drop.

_No one is going to ever want you. Not ever._

"Kurt? Here you go." A plate was being held out to him by Blaine and Kurt took it with a bitter smile and shaky hands.

Blaine plopped down besides him on the bed holding a bag of chips and a bottle of soda.

_How the hell does he manage to eat like that and look the way he does? Why is life so unfair?_

There was crinkling and the sound of chewing and crunching invading his flushed ears. He looked down at the plate on his lap and would have smiled if he hadn't been in the situation he was in. Blaine had made sure none of his foods were touching just the way he liked it.

The snacks were absolutely _glaring_ at him. They were _taunting_ him and _laughing_ at his pathetic self.

"Kurt? You're supposed to put the food in your mouth, not glare at it." Blaine nudged him out of his thoughts, his tone sounding light and joking on top, but deep down, Kurt could here the worry and confusion.

The other boy merely chuckled and picked up one of his laughing crackers. His tongue met the dry texture first and his first thought was to drop the food and forget about it, but with Blaine watching him like he was, that was certainly not an option. He chewed slowly and swallowed thickly, all the while trying his best not to focus what was traveling down his throat and into his disgusting stomach.

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" Blaine patted Kurt's knee and stuck his hand into the bag of chips once again.

Kurt had gotten through four and a half crackers and two carrots before pushing his plate away from him and onto the bed.

"How are you done already? You ate a cracker." Blaine stated and examined Kurt's face.

"I'm full." Kurt announced and turned his nose up in the air snottily.

"Are we really going to fight about this?" Blaine asked tiredly and put down the bag of chips, brushing his hands against his jeans. Even in a time like this, Kurt cringed.

"I don't know; are we?" The snap was loud and annoyed.

"Tell me what's going on." Blaine all but demanded, grabbing Kurt's hands and urging him to look at him.

"There's nothing to tell."

"Obviously there is."

"For as much as you pay to go to this school, you'd think that basic vocabulary would be taught and understood." Kurt bit out as he stood up, ripping his hands from the warm and tender grip of Blaine's.

"Where are you going? You can't keep avoiding me!" Blaine exclaimed, standing up too and following Kurt.

"Oh really? Watch me." He slammed the door closed behind him and spun around, colliding face first into a muscular chest.

"Whoa! Oh, it's you. Hey there little buddy! Why so glum?" Liam's unusually chipper voice assaulted Kurt's sense of hearing.

"I am nowhere near the mood and patience needed to put up with you at the moment, Liam. I suggest that you leave me alone before I go into full bitch mode."

Liam chuckled and raised his hands in mock surrender. "I actually have just the thing to cure that mood."

Kurt shook his head, completely ignoring Liam and walking away.

"I wasn't really done speaking." Liam informed, his long legs keeping up pace with Kurt's long strides easily.

"Well I was done listening." Kurt sighed, not even sparing a glance towards the rebel by reputation.

"Will you just give me two minutes?" He put his large hand on Kurt's shoulder to stop the boy from continuing his walk and turned him slightly to face him.

When he realized that Kurt was waiting for him to speak, he smiled and began talking. "Thank you-"

"One minute and forty seconds." Kurt informed in a monotone voice.

"Wait, what? How was that twenty seconds?"

"One minute and thirty seconds."

"Alright, Jesus Christ. As I was saying before you so rudely walked away from me, I have the perfect solution to cure you of your bitch fest."

"Which would be?" Kurt prompted and popped his hip sassily, resting his hand on the jut.

"A party." Liam's eyes lit up with the word and his smile widened considerably.

Automatically Kurt shook his head. "There is no way I'm going to a party with you." The small boy was about to walk away, but Liam's large hand caught his wrist.

"Just think about it. A party would obviously get your mind off of whatever you're going through. It would be full of people that you've never met and-"

Kurt raised a porcelain skinned hand to signal for Liam to stop talking. "Okay. Let's go." Admittedly, what the taller boy had just described sounded pretty nice to Kurt and he jumped on the opportunity to escape from his reality, even if it was just for a couple of hours.

"I knew you couldn't resist my charm." Liam winked and smirked cockily. "Come on, I'll drive."

…

They had been in the old car for approximately ten minutes, singing along to the radio. Although Liam didn't have a great voice, it wasn't all that bad and there was something strangely charming about it.

It was fifteen minutes into the drive when Liam turned down the volume on the radio during an over dramatic commercial and glanced at Kurt. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but I'm not really stupid and I can kind of guess what it might be about." When Kurt stayed silent, Liam took that as an opportunity to continue.

"When you first transferred, you and Blaine were pretty much attached at the hip. Now whenever I see you, you guys always look like someone stepped on your goldfish." Kurt raised an amused eyebrow at the expression.

"Is the dapper prince the cause of your sour attitude?" Liam questioned, ignoring Kurt's questioning brow.

"Partly." Kurt admitted. "But it's not entirely all his fault. It's just my life and the inevitable crap that comes along with it."

Liam nodded and frowned. He offered no apologies or sympathies, but Kurt didn't really mind.

"Transferring to Dalton was just my parent's attempts at keeping me away from my friends." Liam said suddenly, keeping his eyes on the road in front of him.

Kurt was silent and waited for Liam to continue on with his story.

"My parents never really cared about me. They always made sure that I had everything I ever wanted and focused on their work most of the time. They aren't bad people; they just weren't prepared for a child. Anyway, my group of friends were what you would call rebellious. Having parties and destroying property and whatnot. My dads a senator or some political guy, so having a son that was getting arrested wasn't really acceptable. I was moved to Dalton in hopes to reform me into a pretty boy prep school kid. Obviously, it didn't work." The taller boy's eyes hardened as he spoke and never left the road in front of him.

"I'm sor-"

"I don't need your pity. Tonight I'm going to see my friends and that makes it all worth it." A small smile crept its way onto his lips and he finally glanced at Kurt.

"My mom died when I was little." Kurt offered. Liam didn't want his pity so Kurt thought he could at least show him that he wasn't alone and everyone had their own problems. "I was bullied as a little kid because of my voice and the way I acted and dressed. She would always make it better and tell me I was perfect." The glasz eyed boy swallowed thickly.

"Then she died and the bullying got worse as I got older. I didn't have any friends if you exclude the lunch ladies so I pretty much went through everything alone."

Liam nodded his head a little and turned up the radio quietly. Not much else was spoken on the rest of the ride because nothing else was needed.

It was ten minutes later that they arrived at a large building that looked as if it had been abandoned years ago.

"Come on. Now you're going to learn what it's like to actually live." Liam smiled widely and opened his car door, walking forward without even looking back to see if Kurt was following.

Kurt scrambled to open the heavy door and catch up to the long legged Liam. "Why do I feel like this was a bad idea?" Kurt asked, not being able to shake the skittish feeling that was rising.

Liam slung a heavy arm around Kurt's small shoulders and missed the way that the small boy's knees almost buckled underneath him. "Relax." The tall boy dragged the word out and pulled his arm closer, causing Kurt to trip and almost fall. "The people you will meet tonight are going to be the coolest people you will ever meet in your entire life."

"Somehow I doubt that." Kurt muttered and ran a nervous hand through his perfectly styled hair. Immediately after doing so, he fixed his hair and made sure every strand was still in place.

"Are you ready for the best night of your life?" His voice was happier than Kurt had ever heard before and he couldn't help but smile. Liam seemed really excited to be back with his supposed friends. He seemed like he belonged here.

"Bring it on." Kurt decided determinedly.

…

Okay, so Kurt was wrong. He did not want it to be brought. What he wanted was to leave and stay in his safe Dalton dorm room forever.

People were everywhere. Dancing, grinding, jumping, running, shouting, laughing, drinking, kissing, and just staring at him as he walked passed. To say it was unnerving was an understatement. His head was pounding with the tempo of the blaring music and he knew that a migraine was going to make itself known soon.

The scenario taking place around him was very much like the minutes before he passed out, but this time the spinning wasn't just in his head. He couldn't tell you how many drinks had been shoved into his hand; he stopped counting after eight. Every time a plastic cup was put in his hand, he would drop it without a second thought. He had had enough bad experiences with alcohol and learned enough about drugs to know the dos and don'ts of parties.

About ten minutes into his adventure he had lost sight of Liam and couldn't find him or the exit anywhere.

The only thing good about the chaos was that it was distracting him from his fight with Blaine and the fact that he had actually been eating something lately. That thought was too much to handle. 

Kurt pushed passed a pair of inappropriately dancing teens and came face to face with a door.

_Hopefully it's a way out of this god awful place._

He pushed through the door and stumbled into a fairly crowded room that was filled with loud retching sounds. It took him a moment to realize he was in a bathroom and that the retching sounds were somebody or more than somebody throwing up.

A girl that resembled a twig stepped out of a dirty stall with an accomplished smile on her face. "Oh, hey honey. Sorry to keep you waiting." Her voice was scratchy and thick. She looked oddly familiar, but Kurt couldn't place his finger on where he had seen her before in his muddled state.

Kurt's brain took a minute to realize the skinny blonde was talking to him. So many troubles were on his mind right now and he was having a hard time paying attention to everything going on around him.

_Liam is currently drunk. How are you going to get home?_

_You don't even know where you are. How are you supposed to get home?_

_Blaine probably hates you at the moment. Would he consider helping you?_

_You ate food today that was full of fats and calories. How are you supposed to ever be desirable when you keep doing this?_

_Your life is shit. What are you going to do?_

"You weren't keeping me waiting." He stuttered over the words because he couldn't do anything better than that with the state of wreck he was in.

"Don't be afraid. We all do it here. There is no reason to be embarrassed." Her deep green eyes were bloodshot and hazy and Kurt couldn't' help but feel like he shouldn't be talking to her at all.

He shook his head as if it would clear away all his confusion. "I don't understand what you're talking about. You all do what here?" He didn't want to be having a shady conversation with a sketchy platinum blonde in a disgusting bathroom where people were probably shooting up in the corner, but his legs felt like lead and he couldn't seem to move.

She gave him a toothy smile, revealing her yellow teeth and grabbed his arm, her dirty nails digging into his shirt. "It's okay. We all just want to be perfect." The words came out in a stage whisper of bad breath that assaulted Kurt's senses, but he wasn't thinking about that. Suddenly, everything clicked.

_Oh god. The throwing up. 'We all just want to be perfect'. _

"Oh no, I don't-" But he didn't finish his sentence because the next thing he knew, he was in the stall with a surprisingly strong push.

"Sweet baby. It's okay. We're all freaks; no one is going to judge." Her voice sounded one last time before she stepped out of the stall and left Kurt on his own.

He wanted to get up and walk away more than anything at that moment, but he just _couldn't. _

It was an out of body experience.

Kurt felt as though he was looking down on his thick waist and large legs. He could see his pasty skin that stretched around his fat body. It was disgusting and the image gave him a strange sense of clarity. There was only one thing going through his mind at the moment.

_You need to fix that._

He had seen plenty of movies about people puking up there food, but when you faced the action in reality, it seemed so much scarier. They had made it look so easy. Stick your finger down your throat and make sure everything lands in the toilet or sink. Easy as that.

Except, it wasn't at all.

Kurt's hand was shaking uncontrollably and his hand was too big to fit in his mouth properly. His finger had to stretch out to reach his gag reflex and the first time he brushed it, he just choked. It wasn't until he put pressure against it that he felt the sensation of what little digested food he had in his stomach making its way back up his throat and out of his mouth.

He didn't realize he was crying until he felt a hot tear drip down his nose. His throat felt dry and thick and his lungs wouldn't fill properly. Kurt took a deep shuddering breath and stood up on shaky legs, making his way quickly out of the bathroom and avoiding eyes with everyone he passed.

The emotions passing through his eyes were numerous and varied. Everyone around seemed to be considerably louder and raunchier and her didn't know if it was due to the alcohol they had consumed or his spinning head.

Kurt found himself standing in the middle of a makeshift dance floor with a possibility that Liam could be anywhere. He was about to take a step forwards when he heard an all too familiar laugh.

Kurt's eyes settled on a very drunken Liam who was currently grinding with another intoxicated man. _Well that is just great._ He was certainly not in the mood to deal with him at the moment.

"Liam, come on. I really want to go home." It took Liam a few seconds to realize who he was in his alcohol induced state, but when he did, the biggest smile broke out on his face.

"Hey! Hey dude I'm dancing with! This is my buddy Kurt! He's cute isn't he?" Liam apparently was a happy drunk, Kurt decided. The barely clothed guy he was dancing with (more like on), winked at Kurt before returning his full attention back to Liam.

"Seriously, give me your keys. I'll drive home." Kurt crossed his arms over his chest and popped his hip sassily; preparing to drag Liam out if it was necessary.

"No, Kurt! I don't want to! I want to stay and dance with… I don't even know what his name is! Ha!" These words were followed by loud laughter.

"I don't really care what you want to do right now. I want to go home so give me your keys!" Kurt demanded.

Instead of using his mouth to answer, Liam connected it to the random strangers and proceeded to commence in a heavy make out session.

"Liam? I'm not kidding around. I will drag your ass out of here." Kurt threatened as menacingly as he could.

A loud and long moan was his only answer. Correction, Liam apparently was a horny drunk.

Kurt tried to pull Liam away by his arm, but it was no use. Liam wouldn't budge. Kurt resisted the overwhelming urge to childishly stamp his feet and scream.

He let out a long sigh and rubbed his temples. "I am definitely not in the mood to deal with this crap right now. Goodbye." With that, Kurt stormed off in what could only be described as a true diva fashion.

This time pushing through the masses of hot flesh, Kurt realized that he didn't have anywhere to go. He had absolutely no way of getting home unless he called someone. Everyone in Lima was out of the question, seeing as they would take three hours to get here if they even answered, so that limited his options to the people of Westerville.

_Would Blaine even answer if you called him? He's probably still mad at you, but it's definitely worth a try._

He tried to ignore the scratchy and dry feeling of his throat. The feeling that people got after puking their guts out. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number he knew by heart, knowing that this was his best bet at getting out of this mess.

The phone in his hands felt heavier with every long ring. Kurt kept pushing through the crowd, not caring if he was hurting anyone. The air was stuffy and hot and the only thing he could think about was the hopeful ringing coming from his speaker and getting out of the room before he suffocated.

"Hello?" Blaine's voice was thick with sleep and confusion and Kurt felt like he was able to breathe a little bit better.

"Blaine! You answered." Kurt didn't care that the words that just came out of his mouth were completely lame and obvious, he was just happy that Blaine answered and would be able to help him.

"Kurt? Why are you calling me at… twelve thirty in the morning?" The older boys tone was slightly more alert with an edge of concern as he thought about the possibilities of why Kurt could be calling.

"I really need your help." Kurt shouted into the phone over the deafening roar of the crowd. Sweaty bodies were jumping all around him and it was making Kurt's head spin.

"Where are you? Are you hurt? What's wrong?" Kurt heard rustling from his phone that was probably Blaine getting out of bed, accompanied by his worried tone that had no trace of sleep anymore.

"I'm not hurt. I just really need to go home." The small boy tried to tell himself that his voice didn't crack half way through his words and took a deep breath to calm himself. He had been pushing through the mass of bodies for five minutes and he was no closer to finding the exit than he was when he started his search. The creeping sense of panic began to travel up Kurt's spine and the young boy squeezed his eyes tightly shut and willed the tears of frustration not to fall.

"Kurt. You have to tell me where you are so I can come and get you." His voice was demanding and hard. Kurt could hear the familiar sound of a door closing and hoped that it was Blaine leaving his dorm room and going to his car.

Kurt let out a shuddering breath. "I don't know." He admitted and stumbled, having been banged into by a random body.

"You're really scaring me Kurt. How do you not know where you are?" Blaine's words were rushed and frantic.

"I'm- I'm at a party." His breath was coming out in fast shallow puffs as he tried to take in enough of the hot air to fill his lungs. He spun around once again, trying to see over the see of people that was blocking his sight of the nearest escape.

"I'm in my car and I don't know where to go. I need something more than that." The curly haired boy sat in his car, his hair a mess, rumpled pajamas from sleeping, and his trusty glasses perched on his nose. He was also trying to keep his worry under control, but found it hard when he needed to help Kurt and the boy didn't even know where he was.

"It's in an old building and I think it was about a half an hour away from Dalton." Kurt racked his brain for anything else he remembered about the drive over. He had been so distracted with Liam's story and his own worrying and now he was facing the consequences. "Oh god. I- I don't even know." His voice was frantic and on the edge of a freak out.

"Kurt, listen to me. You have to calm down, okay? I'm going to help you and it will all be okay. Who did you go to the party with?" Blaine listened to the sounds coming from the phone that he had in a death grip. There was a loud roar which he assumed to be the sounds of an out of control party and then there was the sound of Kurt's breathing. His breathing seemed to slow a bit before he spoke again which allowed Blaine to loosen his hold on his phone a tiny bit.

"I went with Liam, but he's drunk and I wouldn't be able to find him if he tried. I can't even find the exit." It was then that a large man who could rival Finn in the height department decided to slam into Kurt and promptly push him over. Kurt landed on the ground with a low curse that didn't go unheard by Blaine.

"Kurt? What's wrong? What happened?" Blaine questioned.

"Nothing." He breathed through his teeth and picked himself off, brushing his clothes off and fighting through the crowd again. "All I know is that I'm at an abandoned building that's about a half an hour away from Dalton."

"You said that you went with Liam, right? So it's one of his friend's parties?" Blaine was already pulling out of the parking.

Kurt nodded before he realized that Blaine couldn't see him. "Yeah, why?" He pushed passed a Latina girl and practically collapsed in relief. A rusty heavy door was standing before him.

"I know where that is." Blaine murmured, not caring that he was going significantly faster than the speed limit permitted. "Kurt, you need to find the exit and wait outside for me, okay?"

"I'm already leaving, but what about Liam? Should I get him too?" Kurt asked and took a gulp of refreshing cool air. The slight wind blew over his hot skin and cleared his mind a bit.

"No, he'll be fine. One of his friends will take him home. He wouldn't even leave if you tried, trust me, I've done it before." Blaine's tone of voice seemed calmer now that he knew Kurt was outside and he knew where he was.

"What do you mean?" Kurt questioned, sitting down against the brick wall of the building. There were a few people around, but from the looks of it they were all too drunk to notice Kurt there.

"Liam pretty much does this with all the new kids. He likes to have partying buddies and most of the time, after one night, no one wants to go near him again. So, he just moves onto someone who's new and doesn't know about his reputation. I was a new kid once too."

Kurt nodded and leaned his head back against the wall, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. "How much longer will you be? I really want to sleep all of this off." His throat was still scratchy and he craved a bottle of water, but there was no way he was going back into that party only to get lost again.

'I know. I'm driving as fast as I can." Blaine promised in a soft voice. "I'll probably be there in less than ten minutes."

"Will you stay on the phone with me until you get here?" Kurt hated sounding like a child, but considering everything that happened tonight, he didn't really give a shit at that moment.

"Of course I will." The sincerity in the other boy's voice made Kurt's heart swell and a smile grow on his dry lips.

…

"Kurt, I'm here. Where are you?" Kurt could hear the sound of a car door slamming shut and footsteps running against the pavement.

"I see you. I'm over here." He said happily in to the phone, standing up on wobbly legs and waving his free hand over his head.

Blaine hung up the phone and ran over to Kurt, pulling him into a tight hug. "Oh my god, I am so glad you're okay.'" The words were muffled by Kurt's hair as Blaine buried his face into it. Kurt allowed himself to lean against the other boy and inhale his scent.

"Come on, let's get you home." Blaine said, pulling away from the hug and pulling Kurt towards his car by the arm.

The older boy opened the car door for him before walking around to the other side of the car and getting in himself. A silence hung over them for the first few minutes of the drive.

"I'm sorry." Kurt mumbled while taking in Blaine's stony expression and hard eyes.

"For what, Kurt?" Blaine sighed and ran a hand through his bed head of curls that Kurt was finding adorably distracting.

"For waking you up and making you come get me." Kurt offered.

"I'm not mad about that, Kurt. I'm glad that you called me. In fact, whenever you are in that type of situation, I prefer that you call me immediately, no matter what time."

"But you are mad." Kurt stated.

"Of course I'm mad! You went to a party that you knew nothing about with a guy that we all warned you about! It was ridiculously dangerous and incredibly irresponsible. Did you know that someone could have drugged your drink? Do you understand how worried I was when you called me telling me that you needed my help and you didn't know where you were?" Kurt shrunk into the seat with Blaine's broken shouts.

"I was so scared, Kurt. I didn't know what was happening and there were so many scenarios running through my mind and…" Blaine broke off mid sentence and took a deep breath. "I just really didn't expect this from you."

"Stop acting like my goddamn father!" Kurt snapped even though he knew it was the wrong thing to do. Deep down, he knew Blaine was just worried, but he was so tired of fighting with him. It seemed like it was all they ever did lately.

"I wouldn't have to if you didn't do these types of things." Blaine bit out, more frustrated than angry.

"All we ever do is fight any more!" Kurt exclaimed.

"And whose fault would that be?" Okay, so he could have worded that better, but it didn't matter anymore because the damage had already been done.

"What is that supposed to mean?" His voice dropped low and was laced with venom.

"All I'm saying is that you've been acting weird lately and lying to me all the time. Then, you go to a party with a guy you barely know!"

Nothing came out of his mouth in response for a minute. "I have enough going on in my life. I certainly don't need you acting like Mr. Frigging Perfect and slapping my hand for bad behavior."

Blaine scoffed and fought the urge to roll his eyes. "That's exactly my point! Something is going on with you! So tell me what's wrong. Tell me why you are refusing to eat!"

"That's none of your business." Kurt bit out and turned his face to the window and trees flying by outside the window. What was he supposed to say to that if Blaine already knew he was lying? He had no way out of this.

"Kurt, I am honestly just really worried about you. You are my best friend-"

_Yes, I'm just your _best friend.

"-and I want to help you through whatever it may be that you're going through."

"How many times do I need to tell you that I. Don't. Need. Your. Help!" Kurt snapped loudly, his temper flaring. The shout sounded wrong against the quiet night and even more wrong against the following silence that overtook the car.

It was a couple of minutes before Blaine spoke again. "I don't know what's wrong with you. The only method that seems to get through to you is threatening you with authority. So, if you don't start eating or talking to me, I am going to go to your parents and talk to them about it." His voice was frighteningly calm.

_My life is over._

**I feel like the biggest jerk on the planet. I told all of my Tumblr followers that this would be updated like two days ago and then it wasn't because I couldn't get it perfect. So I rewrote it and it turned into this and I'm still not sure about it, but I figured it was as good as it was going to get.**

Anyway, I made it passed one hundred reviews! And I love you all so much!

Review?


	7. Chapter 6

**I don't own Glee.**

Liam Robertson had never been someone who paid attention to detail. He believed that you should just roll with the punches and float easily through life, doing whatever the hell you wanted to do without a care. This was probably the reason his grades had never been spectacular (it was certainly the money that was keeping him in Dalton) and why people always thought he was insensitive, which if we were being completely honest: he kind of was.

That was until he came across the path of Kurt Hummel. Now, Liam wasn't particularly gay or straight. Again, Liam never paid attention to too much detail. If you were hot then you were hot. If you had a dick, oh well.

At first glance, Liam had decided that he could mentally categorize Kurt with all the uptight posh Warblers. He seemed to be the stereotypical gay that was obviously in love with the equally gay lead soloist of the schools a cappella group.

But then he had talked to him and found that the blue eyes that had done nothing but flow with love for Blaine and shine with song could also cut you down in less than twenty seconds. His admittedly high pitched voice that made everyone and their mothers peg him as the gay kid, could bite out witty comebacks and sing like an angel.

Kurt Hummel intrigued Liam and he wanted to see how the kid could party.

Parties were Liam's normal scene. He knew everyone and anyone who would ever be throwing a party and he would always be guaranteed to be there. Something about the loud throbbing beat of the music vibrating through your bones made him feel free. The hot crowded masses of sweaty bodies thrashing around made him giddy. Adrenaline raced though his veins whenever he was surrounded with the familiar people he had come to love over his past chaotic experiences.

Liam was attracted to trouble. No- he was addicted to it.

Maybe it was just the regular teenage angst. Maybe it was a rebellion against his parents. Liam didn't know and he didn't care. All he knew is that he got a weird high when he stood in the heart of chaos.

After a while of knowing Kurt, he noticed something off about him. The small boy seemed to be irritable and stressed out all the time and that only meant one thing, Kurt had some sort of problem or conflict and that's what Liam liked.

Honestly, he never really thought too much about what Kurt's problem would be, you know- with him not paying attention to detail and all that, but when he got a phone call from his sister Aimee, something clicked in his head.

He had still been in bed, having not left all day even for classes when he got the call.

"Liam! Wasn't that such a great party last night? I'm so glad you could make it, even if you spent the night drunkenly attached to a random dude." Her voice crackled over the speaker and into his ear. She had moved out of their parent's house the night she turned eighteen and into her boyfriend's sketchy apartment. From there, she made her way through the world doing whatever she wanted so she never really had money to blow, hence the crappy cell phone.

"Yeah, whatever. I don't remember a lot of it." He admitted with a chuckle and rubbed the back of his thick neck.

"I do and let me tell you, it was a sweet time. I got a new buddy, actually. He was such a little sweetheart, poor innocent thing! I think I corrupted him!" Her laughter was loud and ended in a small cough which was probably due to the daily pack of cigarettes she smoked.

"What did you do now, Aimee?" Liam was lying on his bed, trying to ignore the slight pounding in his head due to his hangover and idly listened to his sister's voice.

"That sweet thing that you came with! You know, long legs, cute nose?" Her words got Liam's attention and he sprung up in bed, immediately clutching his head at the fast motion.

"What?"

"Blue eyes? Cute hair?" She rambled on.

"Aimee! Stop, I know who the hell you're talking about! What I want to know is what you did to him!" Now that Liam thought about it, he hadn't seen much of Kurt all night. There were foggy memories of Kurt shouting at him on a dance floor, but he couldn't remember the rest.

"Nothing he didn't want!" Her voice was defensive and edged like it always got when she sensed trouble.

"I know, but what did he do?" Liam's tone was careful.

"I was in the bathroom when the little kid stumbled in. He looked so scared and lost." She sounded sympathetic, but he knew better. "All I did was encourage him to not be afraid and directed him to the toilet."

"Not be scared of what?" Liam resisted the urge to yell at the crazy girl he was talking to and kept a reasonable tone on.

"You know… being perfect."

"I don't understand what that means. Explain it to me!" Liam demanded.

"All I know is that when I left he was puking his guts out." And oh my god, everything made perfect sense now. Liam had been around people with all kinds of issues all of his life. It wasn't hard to understand what was wrong with Kurt now.

He pictured Kurt in his mind and all he could see was a too skinny boy who looked angry, because that's what Kurt had been lately. Never eating, always angry.

No wonder him and Blaine were always fighting, the older boy obviously cared for Kurt.

"Liam?"

"Bye Aimee." Liam hung up his phone and dropped it on his bed. He ran a large hand over his face and let out a long sigh.

Didn't his parents send him to Dalton to get away from the drama?

…

Kurt had not gotten much sleep at all that night. After the car ride with Blaine, the older boy had wordlessly walked Kurt to his dorm and gave him a tight hug before returning to his own room. His mind was too busy overworking itself with thoughts about what would happen if Blaine went through with his threat.

"_So, if you don't start eating or talking to me, I am going to go to your parents and talk to them about it."_

He tossed and turned all night, sleeping for a half and hour before waking again and flipping his pillow to the cold side restlessly.

And if it wasn't Blaine's threat that was forcing the mere thought of sleep from his body, it was what he had done previously.

He had never ever considered something as drastic as actually _throwing up_ any food you ate, but now that he thought about it, it wasn't that much of a bad idea. Kneeling on the grimy bathroom floor at the out of control party, Kurt had gotten rid of anything that could possibly ruin everything that he had been working for.

By not eating, Kurt was causing fights with Blaine, making everyone around him worried, and passing out. In hindsight, he should have predicted the latter, but it had never come to mind when he thought about Blaine becoming his boyfriend. His mind always seemed to get preoccupied with that thought.

If he did… throw up (that word sounded so harsh and _nasty_), it would solve so many problems. Kurt would be able to eat all he wanted to and no one would be suspicious of anything. Blaine wouldn't tell his parents and they wouldn't fight anymore. Instead, they would kiss and laugh together because Blaine would actually _love _him.

_It's not like it would be something out of control. I would definitely be able to stop whenever I needed or wanted to. I'm strong enough and this is something that could really help._

The slender boy sat up in bed and began to get ready for the day.

_Today is going to be great. I'll apologize to Blaine, eat some food, get rid of said food, and everything will be alright again. _

…

Kurt walked down the large hallway of Dalton Academy with a new found confidence. His head was held high and his strut held an air of purpose to it. He stopped in front of a wooden door and knocked lightly with one hand, a warm cup being held in the other.

He had taken the opportunity to go get Blaine some coffee before classes seeing as he woke up extra early and the poor guy was probably sleeping in after what Kurt had put him through last night.

_Something that will never happen again with your new solution._

The always bitter voice in his head was happy today as the door swung open to reveal Blaine in all his navy, red, and gelled glory.

"I got you coffee!" Kurt started, and handed out the cup to the boy in front of him. "I figured that you would be tired after having to come and get me last night, which again, I'm really sorry about."

Blaine took the coffee hesitantly and stepped out of his room, closing the door behind him. "I told you I wasn't mad about that."

Kurt nodded and couldn't help but smile. "I know, but it couldn't hurt with the apology I'm about to make."

The curly haired boy took a sip of his coffee, sighing into the drink as the taste flooded his tongue. Kurt took the silence as an opportunity to continue.

"Last night made me realize my mistake and I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry and you won't need to be speaking with my parents after all." The pale boy's voice was chipper as he began to walk down the hallway besides Blaine.

Blaine just raised a triangular eyebrow in question and took a gulp of his coffee.

"Look, I know that I've seemed a little bit… _off_ lately," Blaine snorted and Kurt ignored him. "But that is all behind me and I'm ready to go to breakfast." Kurt hoped Blaine would realize what he was saying.

The older boy seemed to understand because he nodded and allowed a small smile to grow on his coffee tasting lips. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

…

The pair of boys arrived in the cafeteria soon after and for what felt like the first time in forever, they both headed for the food. Blaine's mind was preoccupied with silent cheers of happiness for his friend finally eating while Kurt's filled with silent encouragements directed toward himself. He kept telling himself that the food he was about to eat would hold no consequences to his body later.

Blaine dropped food onto his plate without paying much attention to it, finding it more useful to watch Kurt from the corner of his eye. He apparently wasn't lying when he told him that he wouldn't have to talk to his parents about this, because there was food on his plate that didn't consist of just fruit.

They make their way to the table and sit down in two of the available seats, conveniently besides one another. Jeff and Nick laughed to themselves when Blaine shot a questioning look around the table.

Kurt stared down at his plate, fork in hand and every intent on eating what was in front of him. Slowly, he took a bite and swallowed hesitantly. Like every other time he tried to eat lately, the food was thick and his throat felt dry, but he forced it down his throat with a drink of water.

After that, it was one bite after another until he ended up getting too full to have another piece of food. Obviously, not eating for a while is bound to shrink your stomach and Kurt didn't think too much of it when he began to feel nauseous at the thought of more food.

Blaine frowned at Kurt's plate which still held most of the food he had began with, but decided not to say anything when Kurt looked generally full and happy. This was a start and Blaine was happy that Kurt was at least eating _something_.

The rest of breakfast was spent with idle chit chat and laughter, that was until Kurt excused himself with a promise to be at Warbler rehearsal and to text Blaine later which earned a few laughs around the table. Kurt walked away from the sound of the Warblers laughing and Blaine telling them to stop.

…

Kurt pulled out his phone and smiled at the time. He had just about fifteen minutes before class was due to start, giving him time to get rid of the food, brush his teeth, and get to class on time.

Even with all of his thoughts on the subject from earlier this morning, the reality of actually throwing up food seemed harsh to Kurt as he sat on his knees in front of the white porcelain. Fitting his slightly shaking hand in his mouth wasn't any easier than it had been last night and Kurt gagged at the sensation of his finger hitting the back of his throat.

Finally, the food comes back up and out of his mouth. Kurt spit out the substance in his mouth and ignored the feeling of his throat burning. Although he couldn't help but feel a little shaken about what he just did, Kurt smiled and pushed himself up on shaky legs.

_You did it. You are amazing and fierce, Kurt Hummel.__ Just wait until you're perfect._

He might of scrubbed his teeth a little too hard, but he had to make sure that every trace of bad odor or any food is washed away with all the calories he just got rid of.

…

"Hey! Wait up!" Blaine turned around to see Liam jogging over to where he was standing and couldn't help but wonder what in the world the taller boy could possibly want with him.

"To what do I owe this pleasure to, Liam?" Blaine tried to keep his tone from being sarcastic, but somehow the annoyance found its way into his tone anyway. It wasn't his fault if he was still a little bit (okay, a lot) mad at him for taking Kurt to the party last night.

"You see? This is exactly why I don't like any of the people here. "Liam pushed his hands into the pockets of his slacks and looked down at Blaine.

"What do you want Liam?"

"I need to talk to you about Kurt." Liam's voice dropped lower and he took a step closer to the shorter boy. Just because it was an all boys academy did not mean that there wasn't any gossip mongrels.

"Are you wondering where your party partner went last night? Because I have an answer for that one! I had to pick him up after he called me practically in hysterics because he wanted to go home and you were to drunk to do anything other than dance on some guy." Blaine's voice was admittedly harsh, but right now he didn't really care. It just felt good to be getting his anger and frustration out.

"No actually, if you just let me talk-"

"Actually, I don't want to talk to you." With that, Blaine turned around and was about to walk away before Liam spoke again.

"I know why he's been acting the way he has." Liam snapped out. "If you would stop being such a asshole I would have been able to tell you. Now, can I talk or are you going to storm away like a thirteen year old girl again?"

At that moment, Blaine was too interested and concerned with what Liam was going to say to make any remarks. Instead he just nodded and stepped back to a secluded corner of the hallway.

"Kurt hasn't been eating." Liam stated to which Blaine just nodded with an expression that said 'Thank you. Like I didn't already know that.'

"Then, at the party my sister saw him and she said he was throwing up in the bathroom."

Blaine shook his head dumbly, a curl popping loose from its gel cage. "I don't understand." His voice was weak because unlike his words, Blaine very much did understand. He went to one of the best schools in Ohio so he wasn't that dumb.

"Have you ever considered that your sweet lover might have an eating disorder?" And just like that, Blaine's mind began to crumble. His head now shook more rapidly as he tried to tell himself that Kurt wasn't like that.

"Kurt would never do anything like that." He argued weakly. It all had to be a big misunderstanding. Kurt was confident in himself, wasn't he?

"Think about it. Kurt doesn't eat for a long time and then he's puking his guts up after a fight you guys had which I would bet any money was about him eating." Liam's voice was calm and hard. He was what Blaine always was, but at this time he couldn't help but blink heavily like a confused child.

"He got mad because I wanted him to eat more than he already had. _Oh god_." The usually calm and collected teenage boy was coming apart at the seams as he ran a hand through his hair frantically and took a deep shuddering breath. "I have to… I need to go. I need to…" He trailed off and left the sentence unfinished as he turned around and headed towards his room.

Everything made perfect sense, yet at the same time, nothing made sense at all.

He knew the facts and science of the situation. Kurt wasn't eating and the one time he did, Liam told him that he had thrown it up. That would mean that Kurt had an eating disorder.

What he couldn't understand was why Kurt would do something like that or how he could do that to himself. There was something that was causing this; something that was wrong with the skinny boy.

Blaine stumbled into his room and immediately pulled out his laptop, two scary words flashing violently in his mind.

_Anorexia._

_Bulimia. _

**You guys don't even know how sorry I am. I made you wait so long for this chapter! Please forgive me!**

**Anyway, life has been really busy and I haven't replied to all of you reviewers which I usually do and I just wanted to let you know that I really do love all of you. You guys mean the world to me. It makes my day when you tell me what you think. So thank you to anyone who reviews, alerts, and favorites.**

**Review?**


	8. Chapter 7

**I don't own Glee.**

Fear.

It's such a sickening emotion. The hair on your arms defy gravity as goose bumps appear on your now pale skin. It's a tingling sensation that travels up your spine and takes hostage your mind, not allowing you to see anything reasonable. Every noise is intensified and you can even feel a cold sweat begin to break out on your hairline.

There are all different types of imaginable situations that can raise this particular feeling in a person just like the one Blaine was experiencing.

He honestly could never remember a moment in his life, other than when Kurt had collapsed in Warblers rehearsal, that he had been so scared. Right after his very scary and eye opening conversation with Liam, the curly haired teenager practically ran to his room in a haste to get on his laptop.

He knew that Liam was right, he could feel it, but a small part of him was hoping that he was wrong. That small part of him was hoping with all his might and he couldn't help but remember that hope was a dangerous thing.

And even with this thought, he ended up on his bed, foot tapping erratic beats into the air with an air of urgency to it, with his computer perched on his knees. His back was hunched over the screen, his head resting in his hand as his elbow rested on his leg.

The usually warm green, gold, and brown eyes were hard and frantic as they scanned the illuminated words. They informative text stared dauntingly back at him as they took hold of his always calm exterior.

The urge to run away from this spot and pretend like nothing was wrong in the world was overpowering, but one piece of thought kept him anchored to the bed and that was the fact that there was a possibility that Liam was right and Kurt needed help. The vicious feeling of protectiveness and sorrow that accompanied the thought trumped every single personal worry he had.

_Anorexia nervosa is one type of eating disorder that __causes people to try and maintain a body weight far below average. To prevent weight gain, they may starve themselves and use whatever methods they can to keep the weight off of them._

He knew that Kurt had been refusing to be eating for the past couple of weeks now, but could it really be something so severe? Blaine knew the already skinny boy was losing weight, but the blazer had hid most of his body shape from sight.

He knew it was crazy, but he started to feel something similar to dislike towards the uniform that had been preventing his eyes to take in Kurt's form.

_Anorexia nervosa in the majority is caused by emotional problems. Often, the victims equate weight with self worthiness. _

Kurt had more confidence than that, didn't he? He was the bravest person Blaine knew. His breaths quickened with each sentence his eyes read and he tried to ignore the gnawing feeling of rising tears in the back of his eyes.

Emotional problems and self worthiness seemed to be bolded to his eyes, even though in reality they weren't.

_To those suffering from anorexia, their body image becomes distorted. You are never able to be skinny enough for your satisfaction and life turns into a relentless pursuit of the goal to get thin. Although people deny their problem, this is a potentially deadly eating disorder._

And okay, _potentially deadly _are not the words that Blaine wanted to see. His heartbeats thumped in his chest louder with every second. This couldn't be happening.

Kurt should know how perfect he is; why would he ever even think about doing something like this? His throat became thicker with every passing second and his skin felt unusually itchy.

Blaine sat frozen on his bed and ran over the conversation with Liam in his mind. The taller boy had mentioned something about Kurt throwing up his food and Blaine was almost too scared to type one word into Google.

_Bulimia._

He squeezed his eyelids shut over his eyes and found himself hoping that when he opened his eyes, everything was perfect. He and Kurt would be hanging out or singing and Kurt would know how amazing he was. Blaine wouldn't be looking up eating disorders and Kurt would be laughing about something he did.

But of course, that's not how life works.

Life sucks and Blaine was no exception to the widely known rule.

The world around him slowed as he read the words on the screen.

_After eating, panic sets in and the urge to undo the binge sets in. You can turn to many different methods to purge, but the most common is throwing the food up. Your self esteem and value is based solely on your weight and intake of calories._

A snap sounded through the up until that moment, quiet room as Blaine closed the laptop with much more force than necessary.

He moved it to his bed and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands roughly, trying to rub away the words they had just read, but it was useless. The harsh words had been burned into his sight.

_Why is this happening? How am I supposed to handle this? This is serious and Kurt needs help. Oh god, Kurt's sick. _

His throat felt thick with raw emotion and his eyes stung with unshed tears.

_Why would he do this? Why didn't he come to me? Doesn't he know that he can come to me for anything? That I want-more like need him to come to me when he's in trouble? _

He leaned back until he was lying on his bed and staring at the bland ceiling. His breaths were shallow and rough and his stomach was rolling with sorrow and overwhelming amounts of guilt.

_I should have noticed him getting thinner. I should have done something-anything. I could have stopped this before it got to this point. Obviously something's wrong and I didn't do anything about it. I'm supposed to be his best friend here and I let him get like this._

The teenager couldn't stay in one place for long. He wanted to pace or jump or scream or cry; anything but stay still and do absolutely nothing like he had been while Kurt was wearing himself away.

He always thought that teenagers who threw stuff or punched walls when they got mad were somewhat ridiculous. Now he found himself understanding their school of thought. His fists clenched, knuckles white as he contemplated smashing something. His legs twitched with the urge to kick something and his voice bubbled in the back of his throat with a much needed scream or cry.

He sat up and caught sight of the picture Kurt had commented on around a week ago and his heart dropped painfully to his stomach as he remembered what Kurt had said.

_"Why do you have this picture?" __Kurt had groaned._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"It's a horrible picture." Kurt stated much to Blaine's confusion._

_"I like that picture. I think it's awesome." He had tilted his head and raised a questioning eyebrow at the other boy._

_"Easy for you to say, you actually look decent in that picture." _

_"What are you talking about? You look fine. There's nothing wrong with that picture."_

_Kurt snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and I like girls."_

Blaine let out a ragged sigh and took a deep breath in attempts to calm his accusing thoughts. He knew tons of calming techniques and ways to regulate anger, but at that moment his brain was pulling up a blank on that. Instead, he was having an internal war with himself.

_You should have known. You should have said something instead of leaving it alone. Look what you could have prevented. _

From the start, Blaine had noticed something a little bit off with the younger boy's behavior. In hindsight, he could have stopped it right then and there, but it was one meal he had skipped. Only one.

But then that one turned into two and two to three.

It worried him to no extent and he could remember the overpowering urge to shake sense into his pretty head and demand to know what was going on.

Now he wasn't too sure if he even wanted to know.

_No. Don't think like that. This is a great thing that you found out. Now you need to go help before something else happens._

That seed of an idea grew and turned into another horrifying thought. What if Kurt was… you know… throwing up (that word seemed so scary and cruel) right now?

It took less than three seconds for Blaine to be out the door and down the hallway. Of course, seeing the dapper soloist of the Warblers sprint down the calm, ornate hallway turned heads, but he couldn't care less. The only thing going through his hysterical mind was Kurt.

His pink lips, bright eyes, perfect hair, and beautiful body. But the features he loved so much weren't graced with the happiness he wished for so much. No, they were morphed in to an expression of so much sorrow, hurt, and disgust.

His curls bounced with his active body as he approached his destination. Finally, he skidded to a stop in front of the door that he wanted nothing more to kick down.

However appealing that particular thought was, Blaine settled with pounding frantically on the door and shouting Kurt's name over and over again.

"Kurt! I swear to god, open this door right now." His voice was commanding and harsh, but the concern and inner panic cold be heard also.

After what felt like a slow and desperate eternity to Blaine, but in reality was only a few seconds, the door swung open to reveal a very confused looking Kurt Hummel.

Blaine didn't even bother greeting the other boy; he just pushed Kurt into the room and all but slammed the dorm room door behind him.

"What- Blaine? What are you doing?" The confusion was evident in his voice as he subtly stepped away from Blaine's hold. It apparently was not subtle enough because the other boy noticed even though he decided to not say anything about it.

"What's going on with you, Kurt?" Blaine knew that asking the same question that had been passing through his lips for a long time was a futile attempt, but there was a small part of him wishing that maybe the boy would tell him himself.

Of course, that wasn't the case. "Are we really going to go over this again? I thought we just got through this. Nothing is wrong with me, you saw me eat." Kurt looked at him with wide questioning eyes and Blaine felt a lump rise in his throat at the fact that Kurt could really lie so easily to him.

"Why are you lying to me? I thought we were better than that." His voice came out softly and full of unmasked hurt. Now was certainly not the time to hide anything.

Kurt just shook his head and walked around him to his desk, absentmindedly picking up his phone. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Blaine was not one to be discouraged though. He took the three steps to Kurt and pulled him gently to face him. "I really don't like being lied to, no one does, and I would appreciate it greatly if you would stop with the act."

He truly did not know how much longer he could keep his calm with Kurt acting like nothing was wrong with the world when in actuality, the older boys world was crumbling around him.

"Blaine," Kurt snapped and took a step backwards from him. "For the last time, I am not lying!"

"I know you are! Why are you doing this?" His arms reached the air as he threw them up in frustration and once again, stepped that one step to meet the other boy. His words were shouted intensely, his eyes wild.

"Oh, really? What do you know, Blaine?" Kurt shouted back in his face, hoping with every single fiber in his being that Blaine really didn't know what he was talking about and would leave it alone. Up until now, every thing had been going so perfect for him excluding the minor setbacks of passing out and getting stuck at an out of control party.

"I know, Kurt. Don't make me say it." His words were spoken much more quietly in comparison to the recent shouts that had invaded the small space. Blaine's hand reached for Kurt's pale one and gripped it tightly, hoping that a simple touch like that could convey his feelings and some courage into the other boy.

Kurt's expression looked like a deer caught in head lights. Right now, the skinny boy couldn't think straight. He didn't know if Blaine honestly knew or if he was lying, but he didn't want to admit to anything either way, that was sure.

_If he knows, he is never going to treat me the same. This is a __disaster._

His perfect strands of chestnut hair shook rapidly with his head as it moved left to right over and over again. "No, Blaine, what do you… what do you know?" Air was something that Kurt was having a difficult time of taking into his lungs as the words caught in his throat.

Blaine seemed to catch on that Kurt would not be admitting anything any time soon and decided that it was now or never to voice his suspicions. "I know that you won't eat and that you…" His usually warm eyes flickered down to the floor.

"That I what?" Kurt could feel his neck warming along with his face. His uniform felt heavy and the air in the room turned oddly stuffy.

"Kurt-"Blaine pleaded, wanting nothing more than to continue on with the conversation than have to say the harsh and scary words.

"Courage, right?" His voice was mocking and cruel. Something in Kurt's mind told him that Blaine knew and the wall that came up along with a defensive tone was an instinct.

"You throw up!" He exclaimed, tired of the childish game they both had begun to play. "Are you happy now? I know that you literally stick your hand down your goddamn throat and throw up the food you eat! I know, Kurt. I know that you refused to eat and you passed out because of it. I also know that you threw up the food I finally got you to eat at the stupid fucking party you went to with that asshole Liam. The only thing I don't know is why you did it. What could _possibly_ make you want to ever do something that horrible to yourself?"

By the time he was done with his shouting, Blaine was heaving and fighting off angry tears. He wanted to cry for every time Kurt starved himself or threw up. He wanted to shed some tears for the hurt Kurt must have experienced and the fact that he let it go on. He most definitely wanted to sob for the feelings that made Kurt do this to himself in the first place and what the boy was going through.

Kurt too wanted to cry, but not for the same reason. No, Kurt wanted to cry for what Blaine must be thinking right now and what he would possibly do now that he knew. Time seemed to slow with every passing second that Kurt closed in on himself; his hand leaving Blaines and taking a step back. His arms wrapped protectively around his small chest and he hung his head in defeat and sorrow.

_He knows._

_He actually knows and he's never going to look at me the same way ever again. Forget about even considering you as boyfriend material that thought flew out the door when he found out what a mental case you were. _

He wanted to crawl in a hole and just disappear. Embarrassment and shame flooded his veins as he considered what everyone would think of them and how they would never understand. No one would ever understand the actions that justified his doings in his mind. They would hear what he did and label them as quickly as they did about him being gay.

_Everyone is going to know about you. Dad, Carole, Finn, Mercedes…_

A hot tear dripped down his cheek.

They would bring him to a doctor or a counselor and try to fix him. They would never let him ever skip a meal again. Nothing would ever be the same.

Another tear leaked from his squeezed shut eyelid.

He would actually have to eat again and not get rid of it. Kurt's breath hitched at the thought of going back to where he was before he started his journey on being perfect. All of those times, standing in front of the mirror and pinching the fat that bunched around his waist and stomach was not lost on him.

Ever since then, he knew he had lost weight, albeit certainly not enough to satisfy him or even make himself remotely attractive, but he had lost a couple of the pounds that had created his problems in the first place. With every pound lost, he felt a burst of newfound admiration and confidence through his body and he vowed to never let himself pass the weight that showed itself on the scale.

Now, obviously, nobody would ever leave him alone until he gained back all the weight and then some and returned to the overweight beast he had been before.

If he thought that there was no chance of Blaine liking him before, now there wouldn't even be a second thought. He almost wanted to give a short laugh. In the couple of months that he had known the wonderful lead soloist, Blaine had went from mentor to friend to best friend to possible boyfriend and then back to mentor.

Every smile would morph into one of concern and every look would sure to be filled with pity and judging thoughts. He knew Blaine would always be secretly wondering what had made him want to do something so ridiculous and over dramatic and if he was ever going to be normal.

"How did you find out?" Kurt finally choked out, his voice thick with tears that Blaine wanted to wipe away with his thumb, or better yet, his lips.

"Liam told me about what happened at the party. It wasn't that hard after that to put two and two together." This moment was oddly surreal. Everything was out on the table in front of them along with all the varying emotions that accompanied it.

"I don't know what to say." Kurt admitted, never allowing his gaze to stray from his feet and the dull carpet.

"Tell me why." He said in a pleading voice. "Kurt, talk to me and tell me why you did it. Please."

"I can't… I… no, Blaine. _No_." He shook his head rapidly as more tears made there angry way down his porcelain cheeks. Blaine's heart clenched painfully at the sight.

"Please don't cry. I really, really hate it when you cry." Blaine pried Kurt's hand away from his protective hold and used it to pull him down to sit besides him on the bed. "Now, talk to me." Kurt just shook his head.

"Please, Kurt. I don't understand. Why won't you talk to me?" He wasn't even trying to cover up the broken tone of his voice or the way his eyebrows were furrowing in concern.

"That's just it. You don't understand and if I try to explain it to you, you would think I'm crazy." Kurt lifted his eyes to meet Blaine's strong gaze, his eyes shining wetly and the blue contrasting vibrantly against the red from the tears that spilled down his face.

Blaine shook his head vehemently, curls bouncing along with each movement. "I would never think you're crazy. I may not understand, but I will promise you that I will try with everything that I am. You'll never know if you don't try, right?" He gave a reassuring squeeze to the hand he held and began to draw absentminded patterns of love and hope into the soft skin.

And in that moment, Kurt decided to tell Blaine everything.

_Everything is already ruined, what else have you got to lose? _

He took a shuddering breath, filling up his lungs as much as he could in an attempt to calm his involuntary sniffles. "I did it because of you." Blaine couldn't help the sharp intake of breath that sounded in the room from him that made Kurt visibly wince.

"I don't-"

Kurt lifted the hand that wasn't intertwined with Blaine's to signal for him to stop talking. "No, don't look like that." Kurt commanded in reference to the close to tears look Blaine was displaying. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Do you remember the conversation we had on Valentines Day in the coffee shop?" Kurt asked, peering shyly into the other boy's wet eyes.

Blaine nodded numbly. "Of- Of course, how could I forget?" The chuckle after the words was ended when he remembered that this was most certainly not the type of situation where any type of laugh was appropriate.

"You remember what I said?"

His responding nod that time was a bit more hesitant.

"What did I say, Blaine?"

"You said that you thought I was going to ask you out." His mind raced with trying to figure out where Kurt was going with, so when the words came out in a whisper, nothing was thought of it.

It was Kurt's turn to nod. "Blaine, I am completely and utterly in love with you and when you turned out to be oblivious to me in that way, something inside of me… _snapped_." He ignored the way Blaine seemed to stop breathing and his eyes grew impossibly wide with his confession and plowed on.

"I've always had the most horrible luck with a love life, you know, the whole thing with being gay doesn't give you to many options. You know about Finn and Sam so you know about those miserable rejections. I guess I always told myself that the only reason that they didn't find me attractive was the sole reason of them being straight and liking girls, but then I met you.

My world revolved around the hand holding, duets, and those coffee dates, but before I knew it, you were serenading a crazy haired manager at the Gap with a song about sex toys. I guess after the rejection it finally clicked in my mind how stupid I was being; thinking that someone like _me_ would ever have a shot with someone like _you_."

Kurt met Blaine's gaze and was somewhat shocked to find tears falling down his perfect cheeks. "Like what, Kurt?"

He attempted a smile, in hopes that it would make him seem less pathetic and fine with everything when in reality, he was the farthest thing from it. "Too pale, voice like a girl, can't fit in, and obviously disgustingly fat."

Blaine winced at those words and began to shake his head in strong protest. "No, Kurt. No. You are _anything_ but it."

"Please stop. I know you might feel guilty about all of this, but really it's not your fault. It's mine for being stupid and naïve by letting myself fall for you and try to make myself perfect for you."

The tears cascaded harder down both of their cheeks from their bloodshot eyes. "Make yourself… you were trying to make yourself perfect for me?" His voice broke halfway through the incredulous question.

The blue eyed boy gave a small nod before looking wistfully to the wall. "Obviously, it didn't work which just proves my point that I'm too repulsive for you to think of me in that way."

"_Kurt_-"Blaine's voice was pleading. His thoughts were jumbled and depressed, but the only thing he wanted to do is get him to be quiet and tell him that he is amazing just the way he is.

"Just… stop. Please, do not speak if you are going to do anything along the lines of apologize or try to tell me how ridiculous I was and that I need to stop. And do not speak if you are going to tell me that I'm a great friend, but nothing more."

"Okay then. If I promise to not do any of those, can I talk without you interrupting me?" His question is spoken in a soft tone and he slid the hand up from Kurt's hand onto his arm.

"Kurt, I really need you to listen to me, okay? What I'm about to say is _really_ important and I need you to know that I'm not lying about anything I say. I promise."

He took a deep breath and began to speak, his gaze pouring love out from his soul. "I wasn't lying when I told you that I didn't know what I was doing in the Lima Bean. I am really oblivious and stupid when it comes to boys and romance, but there's one thing I know for sure and that's that I am in love with you."

Kurt was sure his heart stopped in his chest at the words and all of a sudden the air around him seemed impossible to breathe in.

"I know it took me a long time to realize it, but I know now and I am absolutely in love with you, Kurt Hummel. I love your beautiful and expressive eyes and your soft skin which is definitely not too pale. I am undoubtedly in love with your adorable nose and your pink lips that I have a powerful urge to kiss right now." It broke Blaine's heart to see the expression of disbelief painted on his face. He knew that the next part would be the hardest of all.

"And your body, Kurt, is amazing." Kurt scoffed and Blaine continued. "I have always thought that you are absolutely perfect and amazing. Seeing you doing this to yourself is just killing me."

"Stop-"

"You are beautiful, gorgeous, and if I do say so myself, extremely hot."

"Seriously, stop."

"You really are perfect and you need to trust me when I say that you don't need to change anything about the way you look."

"Blaine."

"Repulsive and fat are the two words that never come to mind when I see you. What does come to mind however, is this." With that, the curly haired boy leaned over and kissed him.

Their salty tears combined as their cheeks rubbed together and everything on their minds were soon forgotten. Lips moved hungrily against each other as each boy tried to pour all of their feelings into one simple but passionate kiss. This was the moment that they had waited for and now that it was finally happening, neither wanted to ever let go.

Kurt's hands wrapped around Blaine's neck, pulling him close and intertwining a few fingers with the curls that grew there. Blaine's hands wandered down to grip Kurt's waist and pull him tighter, but was abruptly stopped when Kurt jumped away.

"Kurt, what? What's wrong?" He couldn't help but stare at the pink swollen lips that graced Kurt's face.

"Nothing, you're amazing, it's just me." Kurt admitted with a sigh and scooted back to where he was originally sitting. "I just don't feel comfortable with that."

"I would never push you into something you didn't want to do." Blaine rushed out and Kurt once again found himself shaking his head.

"It's not that. I just… your hands were on my waist and-"

"I told you that you were perfect." Blaine stated hardly and quickly, realizing what Kurt was saying and ignoring the painful clench of his heart.

"But I'm _not_." His voice sounded so sure and so broken, Blaine felt a lump rise in his throat.

"Yes you are." Blaine assured vehemently and grabbed his hands.

"I'm not having this discussion with you."

The older boy sighed and seemed to suppress his argument. "Okay, why don't we lie down and figure all of this out tomorrow. I'm sure you're exhausted, I know I definitely am."

Kurt was hesitant while lying down. He watched Blaine shrug off his blazer, take off his shoes, and un tuck his shirt before lying down next to him on the bed.

"Aren't you going to get comfortable?" Blaine asked as he scooted closer to Kurt who was lying stiffly on the bed.

"I am comfortable."

He took a deep breath before speaking, as if he was calming himself down. "I'm pretty sure that I just confessed my love for you, not ten minutes ago. Why don't you believe me when I tell you that I think you are gorgeous?"

Wordlessly, Kurt slipped the blazer off his body and allowed Blaine to drape a loose arm over his waist as they intertwined their legs.

Blaine's arm was positioned on a waist that was skinnier than he could ever remember. He took a minute to calm his breathing before he ended up crying again.

"I love you, Kurt." Blaine whispered into the darkness as they both were about to drift off into a dreamland.

"I love you too." Kurt's voice was thick with sleep and minutes after, he was fast asleep. Blaine took the opportunity to pull him tighter against his chest and never let go.

He breathed in Kurt's lovely scent and dropped kisses onto his jaw and neck, reveling in the feeling of finally being able to do what he had wanted to for so long. Of course, everything about this moment wasn't perfect; nothing ever was.

There was still the fact that the body he held tightly in his arms was shockingly skinny and unhealthy. Also, the scary idea of getting the stubborn boy he loved to get help.

It was true, there were a lot of things he had to do before everything could be truly perfect and Blaine knew he would do whatever it took to get Kurt better again.

**Oh my god, you guys. They finally got together. Gosh, this was a tough chapter to write, but I read the reviews and knew I needed to start.**

**I really do love you all who review, favorite, and alert. Seriously, you all make my day. I love you.**

**Review?**


	9. Chapter 8

**I don't own Glee.**

For a while now, waking up was an activity that Kurt didn't really care for. Once his brain turned on, thoughts about the day and new excuses he could use to get away with not eating where formulating in his tired mind. He didn't even have the luxury of planning outfits to distract him anymore seeing as all he wore was uniforms now. His life has become dull and routine. The only thing that kept him going with a smile gracing his face was the thought of what he could achieve with what he was doing.

Today was different though. When Kurt's eyes fluttered open to the warm sunlight drenching his face, the first thing on his mind was the events of last night. A small, unsure smile grew on his dry lips at the memory. Blaine had kissed him.

Actually kissed him.

The giddiness that accompanied that feeling made Kurt feel like a school girl while talking to her crush. A burst of butterflies swooshed through his stomach and gave him the ecstatic feeling of wanting to laugh and cry at the same time. A squeal built up in his throat and threatened to release it's self, but Kurt kept it in for fear of waking up the boy lying besides him.

But like always, things were not all around perfect in his world. There was still a major worry that was pounding its way through his good mood and lessening the genuine smile on his face.

Blaine knew _everything._

He knew about why Kurt wasn't eating and that he threw up (he was going to have a few words with Liam about that). That meant that he now was going to try and fix him, like he was some poor pathetic person that was broken. That thought was beyond scary. He would obviously never let Kurt out of his sight and force food down his throat if he didn't eat and that couldn't happen.

Kurt couldn't just stop purging and eat. That was close to impossible.

Now that he had started, that was all that preoccupied his mind. After he got rid of the food, he felt good and proud. He felt that much closer to being perfect. It made him actually feel good about himself, knowing that he was strong enough to do this and how it was helping his image. He felt unstoppable.

To think that he could just stop was just silly and Blaine wouldn't understand. Nobody would, I mean, how could they?

In their secretly judging eyes, he was some freak who had numerous problems and needed to be fixed. Their minds would flow with incredulity and disgust. No one would ever understand the feelings that he had or why he _knew_ he had to do this. No matter what they said or what he tried to explain, nobody would fully understand why he started and why he couldn't stop, but they would act like they did and never stop trying to help.

It certainly did not help now that Blaine had admitted that he loved Kurt, a fact that he was having a hard time believing it to be true. It was bewildering to think that Blaine honestly felt something resembling love for him and his fat ass, but apparently he did and Kurt surely wasn't going to complain even if it was something out of pity. Kurt knew that Blaine had told him repeatedly that he was perfect and gorgeous and hot (yeah right), but Kurt knew better than that.

People lied all the time and just because Blaine loved him and told him he was every adjective under the sun that equated to attractive did not mean he was. In reality, Kurt was still that same pasty white teenager who had thunder thighs and a chubby tummy from before Blaine said he loved him.

In Kurt's over imaginative mind, it wasn't hard to put two and two together and find a plausible solution to Blaine's reasoning. When someone finds out about someone doing this type of thing to their body, the natural reaction is trying to get them to stop harming themselves. In this case, people will tell you that you don't need to change and that you are truly beautiful just the way you are in hopes that you will believe their lies and stop.

But you see, Kurt here was smarter than them and knew that they were just being nice and nowhere near honest.

Thinking about the day he had ahead of him was a daunting task. This perfect time he was living in was going to shatter when Blaine woke up and Kurt tried to prepare himself for that. Blaine would awake and it would be breakfast time in his world; the normal world that Kurt had moved out of when he decided to do this to himself.

He would want Kurt to eat and actually keep it in his stomach to digest and help him become more disgusting than he already was. The older boy wouldn't let him leave his sight when all Kurt needed to do was get rid of the food before it could hurt his progress and scare Blaine away. If he started gaining back the weight, Blaine would wake up and leave him.

No one in their right mind would want him. No one in their right mind _should_ want him now, but apparently Blaine was crazy… or blind.

Somehow he was going to have to escape Blaine, all the while making it seem like he had honestly stopped with his problems and healed miraculously over night. Like that would happen.

No doubt, Blaine would want Kurt to talk to someone or get help. That thought alone made Kurt want to hide in a cave until he wasted away what was left of him at this point and he shook his head as if he was shaking away the horrible thoughts from his head. Instead, he focused on the moment at hand, reveling in every single perfect second of it.

Blaine's lips against his neck as his hot breath danced on his skin. His strong chest was firm against his back and his warm arms were wrapped tightly around his stomach and waist and oh no.

Oh no.

_Shit. He can feel you. Right now, he is holding on to ever single o__unce of fat that you are. It's a wonder that his arms can even fit around you._

Despite how much he wanted to stay in those arms forever, the more dominant thought of getting away from the arms before they woke up and actually realized what they were holding got the best of him. The porcelain skinned boy softly lifted the warm skin away from his body and sat up while trying to be as quiet and gentle as possible. Everything would be okay if he just kept his distance with Blaine until he was actually acceptable.

If he wasn't on the side of the bed that was against the wall, he would have been able to get away before his boyfriend (were they boyfriends?) woke up. Apparently, trying to slide to the end of the bed to get off of it causes too much of a disturbance and Blaine rolled over once before releasing a deep breath.

Kurt ignored the moan that escaped from Blaine's pink lips as he arched his back and stretched his arms above his head, showing the telltale signs of someone waking up from a great sleep. The now standing boy watched the object of his affections reach out to the space he had previously occupied and crack open his sleepy eyes when his hand met air and not the warm body he had hoped for.

"Kurt?" The single syllable was thick with sleep and confusion and Kurt's heart fluttered excitedly in his chest, thinking that the name sounded amazing and so much better than it had ever sounded before coming from that voice.

"I'm sorry I woke you up." He apologized and turned to his closet in hopes of finding something to wear. His hand brushed against the limited selection of clothes that aren't his uniform that hung in the small closet. Kurt busied him mind on picking out an outfit and tried not to focus on the fact that the perfect moment was indeed broken and it was just a matter of time before his luck settled in and something went wrong.

"No, that's alright. What time is it anyway?" Blaine pulled himself up into a sitting position and watched as Kurt pulled an expensive looking jacket off of a hanger and mentally decided what would best match it. The older boy smiled to himself as he took in the fluffy hair that was usually so pristine and the bit of tongue that stuck out of the side of his pink lips in a sort of determination.

"I think it's close to nine." Kurt stated and pulled out a pair of neatly folded white skinny jeans from his drawers before finally turning around to face the boy on his bed briefly. "I'm going to change, okay?"

He didn't wait for Blaine to nod his affirmation and walked into his small bathroom, softly closing the door behind him with a small click. Finally, he allowed himself to take a breath and collect his thoughts. Kurt unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off of his shoulders, making sure to catch it and fold it before it fell to the ground.

The sight that appeared in the mirror reaffirmed all of his thoughts from that morning and filled him with confusion. What his eyes took in was a pudgy boy who was absolutely disgusting. His skin stretched over the wide expanse of body and made Kurt wonder how in hell Blaine could be honest about his feelings.

He _had_ lost a _little_ bit of weight, even though it wasn't enough to actually look good, Blaine had confessed his love after the weight loss. So it would only stand to reason that Blaine liked the new and improved Kurt, right? Kurt sighed and slipped the colorful shirt over his head and effectively covered up the scene that had caused him such distaste. The fact that that feeling was nothing new and familiar was sad, but what else was new?

It took another half n hour, but Kurt was finally done with his moisturizing, skin care, hair products, and was finally dressed appropriately. He opened the door to find Blaine sitting on his bed, smiling a small sweet smile up at him. Once again, Kurt found himself wondering how in the world someone as perfect and beautiful as Blaine Anderson was his. That smile was heart melting and he couldn't help but want to kiss it, to taste it.

"You changed?" Kurt asked, tearing his eyes away from his face and taking in the fact that Blaine was sitting in jeans and a gray Henley instead of the uniform he had fallen asleep in.

"Yeah, I figured that you would be a while, so I decided not to stay in the clothes I fell asleep in." Blaine told him and kept his eyes on his face, ignoring the way that the usually skin tight jeans hung loosely around his long legs. A lump rose involuntarily in his throat at the mere thought of the weight Kurt had seemed to lose.

"Well, you look nice." He said and went to go sit besides him on the still not made bed.

"Thanks, you do too." Blaine dropped a quick peck onto his smooth and now pink cheek. Kurt's heart rate increased impossibly with the simple kiss. If this was going to keep up, Kurt would soon follow in the footsteps of his father and his heart attack. Brittany did tell him that heart attacks where from loving too much.

"So, I was thinking about what we should do today…" Blaine started, apparently unaware of the effect he had on Kurt, and the other boy's heart dropped. "I know how much you don't want to do this, but it really is for the best. Kurt, you need to tell your parents about everything and let them get you help."

The response was rushed out immediately. "I don't need help. I'm fine." Kurt thought it was kind of cruel to go from a moment of perfection to a tense and uncomfortable conversation in seconds, but again, what was new? It was silly to think that anything could ever go right for him.

"You and I both know that that isn't true and the last thing I want to do is get into a fight with you the day after we became boyfriends." And once again, the mood of the conversation shifted.

"We're boyfriends?" Kurt's smile was uncontained and wide. Anything that was being discussed was altogether forgotten for the time being and Kurt tentatively reached out to hold Blaine's hand.

"Well, yeah. I mean, if you want. I just assumed after we-"Blaine was effectively cut off by a smash of lips against lips when Kurt practically threw his head forward.

At first, Blaine was shocked to say the least, but it wasn't long before he reacted and cupped the back of Kurt's neck. Kurt's hand found its awkward way up to the loose curls and he tilted his head to deepen the slow kiss. Their lips moved against each other in bliss and air was forgotten about until their lungs began to burn.

Kurt wore a dazed look on his face as he regained his breath, his chest heaving. "As much as I enjoy that, and trust me…" Blaine chuckled. "I do. But, we kind of got off topic."

That dazed looked was wiped off his face and replaced with one of agitation. "I can handle this on my own."

Blaine looked like he didn't want to argue, but he spoke anyway, having Kurt's best interests at heart. "Your parents deserve to know and this is a really big problem."

"And I said that I can handle it on my own." Kurt snapped, jumping up from the bed and taking a step away in anger.

"As true as that may be, you don't have to. You have a family that loves you and can help you. You don't have to go through every thing alone."

"I'm not. I have you, don't I?" Kurt questioned, turning to face Blaine.

"Of course you do, Kurt. You know that." The older boy sighed and rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. "Come here." He told him, patting the spot he had previously occupied before having a diva moment.

Kurt hesitated a moment before sitting gingerly on the bed besides his boyfriend.

"I know that you are a really independent person and you feel like you can do everything by yourself, but you need to now that you don't have to. You have tons of people that love you and are willing to help you if you just ask. Your family, your friends, the Warblers, and you have me who loves you. It kills me to see you go through this and I really really think that you should go talk to your parents." Blaine's resemblance to a sad puppy was positively unbearable in that moment and Kurt melted a little.

"Let's make a compromise?" Kurt suggested, looking down at his hands in his lap, not being able to stand Blaine's concerned filled gaze. "How about you let me try and do this on my own, with the help of you, and if I'm not okay by your standards in a weeks time you can drive me to Lima yourself."

Kurt mentally patted himself on the back. All he had to do was eat in front of Blaine whenever he was around him and get rid of it when he was alone. Blaine would think that Kurt was cured when in truth; Kurt was becoming more desirable by the day which Blaine would surely appreciate. He could continue on with his ways and once again no one would ever find out. It was a win win situation for everybody involved.

Blaine really didn't' want to agree to anything like that, but the face Kurt was giving him was almost impossible to say no to. What he wanted more than anything in the world was to take Kurt out of breakfast, watch him eat, and then bring him to Lima and help him tell his Dad what was going on with his son. Kurt obviously would not like that plan, but it would help Kurt with his problem and that's what Blaine wanted. He wanted to see a healthy Kurt and not the Kurt who wouldn't eat and whose skinny jeans didn't look like they were painted on anymore.

But it was only a week right? And Kurt said that he was going to stop, so nothing else would go wrong, right?

No. "Okay, one week." Kurt's nod and tight hug that he gave to Blaine didn't make the lead soloist feel any better. He would have said something else if it wasn't for the loud rumbling sound that interrupted them.

"Was that your stomach?"

Blaine nodded sheepishly. "I usually get breakfast by now. I'm kind of really hungry."

"Well then, let's go get you some breakfast!" Kurt exclaimed happily.

"Will you just try and eat something; even if it's something small." Blaine reached out to grab a hold of his boyfriend's hand. "Please, Kurt. Please." The pleading coming from Blaine was heartbreaking to say the least and Kurt couldn't say no, even though he wanted to more than anything in the world.

"I'll eat something small. I told you I was going to try and get better, didn't I?" Kurt agreed, nodding to add to his agreement. He was just going to get rid of it all anyway so there was no need to get worked up about it anyway.

Blaine's smile was contagious and he stood up, pulling Kurt up with him. "Thank you. Let's go, I'm starving."

Once again, Kurt and Blaine found themselves in the familiar situation of walking down the hallway together. However, this time was different from all the ones before it. This time their hands were intertwined and there was little space visible between the two bodies. Although nothing was spoken between the pair, their heads seemed to tilt towards each other slightly in a rather intimate way.

This time, walking down the hall, nobody said hello or waved to them. The passing boys were to busy smiling knowing smiles and shaking their heads at the ridiculously long time it took for them to get together.

By the time they were in the cafeteria, making their way to the food, Kurt was taking deep calming breaths in an attempt to keep his thoughts under control. He focused on reminding himself that the food was not going to affect and put a damper on the progress he made if he was able to successfully rid his body of it before it digested fully. Blaine's thoughts on the other hand were far less morose.

His mind was preoccupied with the fact that although he had just confronted Kurt about it last night, he already seemed to be wanting to get better. When the older boy talked to Kurt about everything the night before, he had done it with the knowledge that he shouldn't hope for the best. What Kurt was going through was something big and complicated, but right now, even thought it wasn't all fixed, it seemed better.

"You know, as amazing as I may be, I need both hands to get my plate and food." Blaine smiled and Kurt dropped his hand and warily picked up his own plate.

"You are surprisingly cocky early in the morning." Kurt stated airily while looking over the food that he would have to eat.

"It's all in good fun and you know you love it anyway." Kurt knew that if he was in a romantic movie he would have told him that he did love him and he found himself wanting to say those cliché words. Instead, Kurt chuckled a little and turned his attention back to the food in front of him.

Blaine piled all different types of food onto his plate; stealthily glancing back at Kurt's to make sure he was doing the same and looking satisfied and happy when he saw that he was. They sat down at the table, emptier now that it was the weekend and a couple of the Warblers went home.

"So, is what Jeff told me true? Are you two finally together?" Trent asked from across the table, taking in the closeness of the chairs that the boys had moved together when they sat together.

Kurt nodded happily, a small smile on his face while Blaine actually voiced his response. "Yeah, just last night."

"Finally! Seriously, I really thought I was going to go crazy with all this eye sex going on. Thank god you guys can't get pregnant." Jeff exclaimed while stuffing eggs down his throat.

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response." Commented Kurt haughtily as he shot a look of disgust towards Jeff's open mouth while chewing. "You all are such boys. I find it repulsing that you can all act this way and not bat an eye."

"We can't all be as fabulous as you, now can we?" Blaine laughed and took a drink of his juice.

"If we all used as much hairspray as you did, the world would be dead by now." The boys all laughed and yet again, shoving forkfuls of food in their mouths as if they were all going to die of starvation.

"If you all used as much hairspray as me, you would all actually be somewhat presentable and maybe even earn yourselves a girlfriend or two." Kurt snapped back and took a drink of his water, eyeing the boys over the top of the cup.

"Speak for yourself, I actually have a girlfriend." Jon stated causing everyone to laugh. "What? I'm not lying!"

"Sure you aren't. Where does she live again?" Blaine teased with a light smile letting the other boy know that he wasn't actually being mean, just having a little fun.

"Vanessa lives in Maine and let me tell you, she is very real." Jon argued, punching the nearest boy in the shoulder.

The conversation was easy and relaxed and Kurt reveled in the feeling of comfortableness, something he didn't think he would ever be able to have here at Dalton. He had grown close to the boys clad in that lovable and admittedly dashing navy and red blazers. The Warblers had become his family and even though they hadn't gone through as much as he had with New Directions, he couldn't help but feel like he had become part of something special.

A nudge effectively pushed him from his thoughts as Blaine nodded to his plate, telling Kurt to eat while never breaking conversation with Flint. Kurt smiled at the fact that even though he was talking to others, he was still paying attention to Kurt and making sure he was okay. Although, he would have liked it better if Blaine wasn't telling him to eat.

Kurt ate small bites of his food while listening to the crazy tales of the different boys around the table. By the time Trent was done explaining how his dog got stuck in his fridge, Kurt turned to Blaine and quietly muttered something about having to go to the bathroom.

The blue eyed boy didn't notice his boyfriend also excuse himself from the table and follow him to his room. Kurt had figured that using a school bathroom would be riskier than using the small bathroom attached to his dorm room, hence the reason he used his own bathroom. Trent, his roommate, was part of the Warblers, debate team, and some other club that had to do with math. Needless to say, the boy was only in the room in his rare free time or when he was sleeping.

"What are you doing, Kurt?" Blaine's voice sounded incredibly soft as he caught Kurt's hand in his and used it to pull him a step closer. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" Kurt jumped visibly and put a hand to his heart.

"Oh my goodness! Blaine! Why are you following me!" His voice was high and confused as he tried to calm his erratic breathing.

"Kurt, why are you doing this? I thought you were going to stop." His eyes were so full of sorrow and to know that he was the one that was causing that tugged at Kurt's heart.

"I'm just going to the bathroom. I told you that." Kurt stated airily and stared determinedly down at the cold tiles, knowing that the eyes of his boyfriend would sure to be full of concern, confusion, and care which he didn't want to deal with at the moment.

"Don't lie to me. I really thought that after last night you wouldn't lie to me."

"I'm not lying-"

"Kurt! Stop it!" His loud shout caught Kurt off guard. "I'm going to ask you again and I really hope that you have enough decency to not lie to my face." This part was spoken softly.

Kurt's voice was equally soft. "You know what I'm doing." If it was possible, the hand of Blaine's gripped tighter and Kurt felt a flush creep up his neck.

He loved Blaine, he really did, but he just did not understand. As much as he tried to help, he could never fully grasp what Kurt was doing and the reasoning behind it.

"But… why? I thought you were going to try and get better?" The oldest of the pair was trying desperately to keep his voice calm and steady. Somehow though the feelings he was genuinely experiencing were an undertone in the words.

The other boy was quiet for a few seconds before finally inhaling a small breath and responding as casually as he could. "I can't just stop. It isn't like that." Kurt wished he could have added a 'you know that' at the end of his sentence, but he couldn't.

He couldn't be mad at anyone for not understanding but himself. He was the one who got himself into this situation and it was only fair that he be the one to deal with it on his own.

"I don't… how…? What am I supposed to do?" His voice sounded tired and sad and it pulled at Kurt's heartstrings. "How am I supposed to just stand by and let you do that to yourself? I can't… Kurt, I can't do that."

It was odd, to feel a burst of love and fondness at the same time as a sweep of frustration and agitation. He wanted to pull the curly haired teenager in to a fierce hug, but he also wanted to tell Blaine that it was okay and to just leave him be.

"I've done it before. It's okay." He managed in a cool, airy tone.

"How can you think that?" He exclaimed and gripped Kurt's lower arm with his free hand. "It's not okay." He shook his head in protest and desperately tried to keep his face from crumpling.

"You don't understand. You couldn't understand."

"Then please, explain it to me. Kurt, please, help me to understand." His eyes were full of sincerity and something Kurt incredulously identified as something resembling love.

"You dated Rachel Berry."

"I'm sorry, what?"

Kurt sighed in defeat and brought his wet eyes to meet the strong gaze of Blaine's. "You told me that you didn't want to be in a relationship with me because you were bad at romance and you didn't know what you were doing. And then you dated Rachel freaking Berry."

Once again, his gaze dropped this time to study their clasped and intertwined fingers, not being able to handle the intensity. "I guess that's when I finally realized how repulsive I was."

"Kurt, you're not." His voice was hard and determined.

"I stopped myself from eating, thinking that every time I skipped a meal, I was that much closer to you actually wanting me. It got to the point that the fear of eating was greater than the fear of doing any actual damage. Now when I do it, it's not just about you anymore. It's for me too. Blaine, it makes me actually feel good about myself. I can't just stop."

Blaine really didn't know how to respond to something like this. He wanted to just hug Kurt and keep him in his arms and to make sure that the boy knows he was special and beautiful. He needed to get Kurt help, but how was he supposed to do that if Kurt was going to act like he couldn't be helped?

"But you're perfect-"He started in a thick voice, but was cut off.

"Just stop it. You and I both know that is far from true." Kurt rolled his eyes and pulled his hand from the clasp it was in, repositioning his arms so they wrapped around his chest.

Blaine shook his head. "Kurt, I don't know what to say to make you believe me, but I do know that you need to get some help."

"No! Absolutely not! You said that you would wait a week until you brought me to get help!" Kurt's voice had an edge of hysteria to it and he took a step backwards, distancing himself from the curly haired boy.

"Yeah, that was when I believed that you would actually try and get better." Okay, maybe he should try and be more careful with the things he said, but right now all he could think about was getting Kurt healthy.

"You can't just lie!" Kurt's glare was ice filled and his head was shaking rapidly. The poor boy looked like he was on the edge of a freak out.

"Oh, and like you haven't done that before, right?" And that really wasn't the right thing to say. He was just confused and mad and wasn't thinking. Before he could say anything though, Kurt had already stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door in a fit of rage.

Blaine's heartbeat quickened and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears. That was the one place that he didn't want Kurt to be at this moment, yet there he was, locked in the bathroom where he could easily throw up like he wanted to. The green/golden eyed boy wasted no time in running to the door and knocking frantically.

"Kurt? Kurt, please come out, I'm sorry! Just come outside. I won't tell your parents, okay? I just really need you to open this door right now, okay? Kurt!" Blaine's words were frantic as he shouted out pleas and anything he could think of that would possibly get Kurt to open the door. His heart was in his throat as scenarios of what could be going on behind that door flooded his mind.

Kurt sat with his back against the door, feeling the vibrations of Blaine's pounding run through his back. He brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, resting his forehead on his knee. He never wanted this to happen. He really ever wanted anything to get this out of control.

In just a short time, his life had turned into a complete mess.

When he had started this he did it with the thought that he would be able to control it. He had told himself that he would be able to stop whenever he wanted or needed to, but he knew better now. As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't stop now, he didn't want to. Kurt always liked to be in control and for this to be something he had no power over was getting to him.

Not to mention the fact that he was causing all these problems. Sweet and innocent Blaine was being sucked into this chaotic mess that Kurt had created. He was going to lose Blaine either way, if he really thought about it. If he stopped, the weight was eventually going to come back and Blaine would end up leaving him. If he continued then he would continue causing all this stress to Blaine who would in turn end up leaving him to get away from the problems that he didn't need to deal with.

But even though Blaine wasn't the main objective of his actions anymore, seeing as he would probably lose him either way, he wasn't lying when he said that he was doing this for himself too. It made him feel good and even though he couldn't control those urges, he could control his body weight and that could be enough for him.

All of these thoughts were so complicated.

"Kurt, babe, please. Please open this door!" Once again Blaine's heart tugging pleas broke through to Kurt's ears and made Kurt feel angry that he was the one to cause Blaine to do this. "Just come out here. I love you and I need to see you, okay? Just come out."

Kurt felt a small frustrated tear drip down his cheek as he raised his head off of his knees. As the rest of the bathroom came into his gaze, Kurt was reminded that he had eaten and if he wanted to get rid of the food he was going to have to do it now before it was too late.

It was an out of body experience, much like the first time he had done it, as he crawled over to sit in front of the toilet.

The pounding was incessant along with the calls from Blaine. "Seriously, Kurt, open the goddamn door!"

He felt disgusting and cruel to do something like this with the boy he loved standing outside of the door, pleading with him to open the door.

"Please, I'll do anything. Just come out. I'm sorry, I won't tell anyone. I promise."

His tears fell down on to his hand as he raised it to his mouth. In his ears, his heaves were as loud as Rachel's voice. He didn't even notice the stop in the pounding and shouts from the door as he numbly wiped his mouth and flushed the toilet.

All he could focus on was the fact that he had done that even though Blaine had stood just outside of the door, pleading with him not to. What type of boyfriend did something like that? What type of _person_ did something like that?

He stood on shaky legs, pushing the good feeling away and opening the door, needing nothing more than to see Blaine and apologize to him.

_What kind of freak are you? You go from being angry at Blaine, to puking your guts out while he's six feet away and begging you not to, and now you're looking for him because you want to apologize? Like he's ever going to accept that._

His shaky hands pulled open the door.

**Well okay then. **

**I know that it's not as good as it could be, but I'm really behind and I just needed to get this out. Hopefully, the next chapter will be out sooner. **

**Oh my god, you guys, I love you so much. I'm almost to two hundred reviews! I don't think you understand how unbelievably happy that makes me. So thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart to everyone who reviews, favorites and alerts my story. I know that lately I've been really bad at getting back to you about your reviews, but believe me I'm trying. My life has just become really busy.**

**And to the reviewers who tell me how much this story is helping them and/or this is helping them, I'm always free to talk. You can always send me a message on here or on my tumblr and I promise I'll get back to you. **

**Review?**


	10. Chapter 9

**I don't own Glee.**

Kurt tried to catch his breath as he raised his shaky hand, grasped the cool handle, and turned it. It was kind of ironic that once Blaine stopped his pounding and pleading for Kurt to open his door, Kurt finally came out. The younger boy couldn't shake the feeling of dread towards what he had just done in that room he was finally emerging from.

While the boyfriend that had done nothing but try and help Kurt shouted for him to come out, Kurt had done the exact thing that he had told Blaine he wouldn't do. He had lied to Blaine once again, which it seemed like he had been doing a lot lately. They used to be able to be completely honest with each other and it seemed like Kurt was ruining that aspect just like he did everything else.

But it's not like he could just stop because Blaine had asked him to. It didn't work like that and he had ended up on the floor, his hand down his throat, and tears streaming down his face. Now that the task of getting rid of the food that he had eaten was done, all he wanted to do was apologize to the older boy and hope with all his heart that Blaine wouldn't be done with him.

He pushed the door open slowly, partly afraid of the scene that he was about to be met with. He didn't even know if Blaine was still in his room or if he had had enough of Kurt, got tired with trying to coax him out of the bathroom, and left in search of something better to do with his time. And truth be told, anything would be better than dealing with the chaos that was Kurt and his life.

Blaine didn't need that, nobody did.

Just the night before, when Blaine had told him that he loved him and tried to convince him that he was perfect, something that Kurt didn't think he would ever believe, he had been a little wary to let himself hope that something this good in his life could last. He had tried with all his might not to allow himself to believe that this was real, but if he was being completely and utterly honest, in the end he had let the smallest bit of hope in and hope was a very dangerous thing.

Now it could possibly be all over. It didn't even last a full day and Kurt had already screwed it up with his psycho ways.

Apparently he was wrong though, because when the door opened all the way to reveal the room in its entirety, Blaine was on the bed with his head in his hands. Kurt had never seen his posture so terrible and his shoulders so slumped. He looked defeated and worn out.

_I did this to him. I made him like this because I sucked him into my problems and life._

"Blaine?" Kurt asked, his voice unbelievably small while making no movement towards the stressed out boy on his bed. He was kind of scared to know what Blaine was thinking about right now, but the anxiety was killing him. His fingers twiddled idly at his waist and his eyes searched the other boys face in an attempt to read his emotion which was definitely something to do with anger.

Blaine ran a shaky hand through his hair and took a deep shuddering breath. "Please, just give me a minute." The fear that Kurt had felt before had intensified with those words. Kurt took a tentative step towards the boy and measured his reaction if any.

Kurt sat down, leaving at least two feet between him and Blaine and waited for Blaine to break up with him or yell at him. Actually, truth be told, Kurt kind of wanted Blaine to yell at him. The older boy deserved to yell at him; Kurt wanted to yell at himself.

"I don't even know what to say." His voice suspiciously sounded like it was thick with tears. "I mean… I asked you… Kurt." He broke off his sentence with a hard sigh.

Kurt took the opportunity to scoot a couple of inches closer to where Blaine resided on the bed. "Just lay it all out, you know. I know you want to yell, I mean who wouldn't?"

Blaine gave a wet little scoff. "I want to yell, but I don't want to yell at _you_."

"Then yell." Kurt urged.

Blaine shook his head. "No. Yelling is useless now. You already… _god._ You already did _it_, Kurt." He sputtered while Kurt pulled up his knees onto the bed and wrapped his arms around his legs, resting his chin atop of his knee. "Why didn't you listen? Why… I don't understand why you wouldn't just open that stupid door." He sniffed and looked down.

What Blaine felt was an overwhelming amount of sorrow and anger. He had sat by, useless while the man he loved did something like that to himself. Kurt felt like he had to do that to himself. Beautiful, sweet, talented Kurt hurt himself while Blaine stood right outside the door and wasn't able to do anything about it.

"You know, I've never really got the whole punching walls thing until now. Now I want to punch something- anything and a wall seems like a pretty good choice right about now." He informed him and it was true. The anger at himself and Kurt's actions-but not at Kurt himself- was absolutely overpowering and shocking.

Pounding on the door, Blaine had wanted nothing more than to break down the door and hold Kurt. He wanted, no he _needed _to make him understand how perfect he was and that he never ever needed to do that to himself. Unfortunately for Blaine, not only would the school punish him severely for damaging school property, but his small stature would probably limit him in his tries to actually breaking it.

In the end, Blaine had slumped lifelessly against the door, tears blurring his vision as he heard the heaving coming from the other side of the door. Everything in his sight centered on that damn doorknob, the thing he wanted desperately to open. Knowing that he couldn't do anything was a heartbreaking fact and his throat thickened as he staggered over to the bed and collapsed onto it.

What was he supposed to say? How would anything he said take anything back? How could he possibly help?

"I'm sorry, Blaine. I shouldn't have done that." Kurt admitted in a quiet voice. "At least, not while you were just outside the door."

"Of course you shouldn't have, Kurt! You should have opened the door or let me in! You shouldn't have... you shouldn't have _thrown up your food_." And as much as Kurt had wanted Blaine to get his feelings out, it didn't mean it hurt any less. "You should have talked to me and let me take you home and get help."

Kurt simply nodded.

"Why don't you believe me when I tell you that you are perfect? Why would you do something like this?" Blaine's eyes were wet with unshed tears and he swallowed hard before he continued. "You are amazing and beautiful and I don't know how to help you. I don't know what I can do to make you understand."

"You don't have to do that." Kurt told him sternly in a soft voice. "Please, don't do that." Kurt's perfectly sculpted brows were furrowed in an unreadable expression. He looked somewhat like a cross between disbelief and sadness.

"Do what?" Blaine questioned, looking up into Kurt's wide and sad eyes.

"Tell me I'm all these great things. If what I just did was any kind of sign, I'm nothing close to what you make me out to be. Frankly, I'm surprised you aren't yelling at me or dumping me." Kurt tried to pass off a light and nonchalant chuckle, but it come out more like a strangled scoff.

"Grab your coat." Blaine told him sternly, grabbing his arm and pulling him up into a standing position. "Come on, we're leaving."

"What? Where are we going?" To say that Kurt was confused was an understatement as the boy barely grabbed his coat before he was pulled out of the room.

"We are going to Lima to go see your father and your step mother." And then Kurt started struggling to get out of Blaine's gentle yet strong and firm grip on his arm.

"No! Blaine, seriously, let me go!" Both boys ignored the weird stares they received from the scene they were causing, being too wrapped up in the situation they were currently in. "I swear to everything that is holy, if you don't let me go I will start screaming and trust me, I will hit a high F." Kurt made a big show of sucking in a mouthful of air to prepare himself for his shriek that he planned to unleash. Needless to say, Blaine dropped his arm, but stood in front of him to make sure that he couldn't get anywhere.

"You need help and I know that I said I wouldn't bring you, but I don't know what to do anymore and it's breaking my heart to see you like this. Kurt, you won't listen to me or believe me no matter how many times that I tell you that you are perfect in every way. This… this is really serious and I _need _you to get healthy again. I need you to be okay, but that won't happen if you don't get help for this." By the time he was done with his speech, he had a small tear traveling down his cheek. Kurt's heart broke at Blaine's sad and genuine tone filled and cracking with raw emotion.

And that was the breaking point.

He _loved_ Blaine with all of his heart and he was doing this to him, but he had a chance to stop and make Blaine happy and that was worth more than anything. The painful tugging of his heart that Blaine's crumpled expression was causing was something that made Kurt want to stop.

There was still that small voice in the back of his head reminding him that just because he wanted to stop and get better did not mean that he could actually just stop. In all honestly, Kurt still didn't want to give up the power rush that accompanied him when he purged or the thrill he got when he stepped on the scale and read the numbers informing him of the weight he had lost. He really did not want to start eating again and gain back the weight that he had worked so hard to lose.

It was ridiculous to think that everything was going to be okay because they wanted it to be, but Kurt was going to at least try; he owed that much to Blaine. Again, he was going to lose Blaine either way. Being the fact that Blaine got tired of dealing with Kurt's stress that accompanied him staying skinny or he left him when he stopped and gained back the weight. So it didn't matter if he tried to stop, did it?

Blaine had been the main objective of this whole mess and now he had him. Kurt finally had Blaine and he was telling Kurt that he still loved him and he wanted him to get better. Now, a large part of Kurt still figured that Blaine wasn't actually being legitimate about his feelings and views on his body, but if there was the slightest chance that he could keep him even after all of this, Kurt was going to jump on it.

Kurt wasn't saying that he was going to be able to stop or he was going to be fine with his body, he wasn't. He still thought of himself as something overweight and disgusting and didn't think he would ever believe otherwise. It was going to be miserable, he was going to be miserable, but he wanted to do this.

Kurt Hummel was a fierce bitch and he could do this.

His head nodded rapidly and a small, unsure, tight smile grew unsteadily on his lips. "Okay." He said simply.

It's funny how one word could mean _so much_. Blaine's face went through so many emotions that Kurt only caught a few, those being confusion, shock, and finally pure happiness. "Are you serious?" He asked wearily, trying not to get his hopes up.

"As serious as I could be." Kurt told him, his voice wavering in the slightest. He had that nagging voice in the back of his head that he wasn't going to be able to stop and end up failing Blaine, but he pushed it away for the moment.

Blaine was the happiest that Kurt had seen him in a while as he pulled Kurt to his chest in a tight embrace, burying his face in his neck and letting out a joyful laugh. "Kurt, this is great."

Kurt nodded and kept his breathing steady. It always seemed like their hugs were to short, Kurt noted as Blaine pulled apart slowly and grabbed his hand in a tight hold. "Come on, let's go to Lima."

Although Kurt had recently and unsurely decided to try and get help, going to his parents was something he was dreading; he would be crazy if he said he was completely fine with it. Blaine guided him down the hallway and down to the parking lot as Kurt became lost in his thoughts.

How was he possibly supposed to tell his parents that he had a problem like this?The looks he knew that were going to cross their faces before being covered up with a blank expression were going to hurt, not to mention what they would probably be thinking. His dad's heart was a key factor in this situation too. The high school junior was terrified to think of what it might do to his heart or what he might think of Kurt.

By the time he was snapped out of his thoughts, they had gotten into Blaine's car. "Kurt, are you okay?"

He turned his head to face Blaine and plastered on a fake smile. "Yeah, just thinking." He admitted in a measured tone.

"About what?" Blaine asked, not trying to pry for information or anything, just curious as to what was going on in his head. The older boy knew something big must have been working its way through Kurt's mind with the expression on his face.

It was a moment before Kurt replied. "I just… I'm scared, Blaine." He hadn't meant for his voice to come out as quiet as it had, but he found himself not really caring.

"Why are you scared?" Blaine asked in a quiet and caring tone, looking to Kurt briefly with furrowed brows and thinly veiled concern.

He took a deep breath before responding. "I'm afraid that I won't be able to stop." Kurt told him truthfully. "I know I said I'd try and stop, but it's not a hobby that I can just drop whenever I get tired of it." The weight on his chest loosened with each confession he made to his boyfriend. He would have smiled at the fact that he could be completely honest with him if it wasn't for the fact that smiling during this conversation would be somewhat inappropriate.

Blaine let out a small sigh. "I know, well I don't know, but I believe you and I'm trying to understand. I didn't expect it to be easy, but it will be okay. I promise." He finished with an air of certainty that Kurt wished he had.

"But you don't know that. What if I can't stop or I slip up? I don't expect you to wait around forever while I _try_ and fix myself."

"Alright, first of all, I believe in you and I know that you can do whatever you put your mind to. And second, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be there to help you every step of the way." His voice was stern and reassuring. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I love you until you start believing me, but I do."

Once again, Kurt found his heart fluttering erratically in his chest at those three overused and abused words. "I love you too, so much." The smile that appeared on Blaine's lips was warm and made Kurt want to melt.

His joy was short lived when he remembered where exactly they were headed to. Panic rose in his chest no matter how much he tried to swallow it. In an hour and a half, he would be in his home, telling his dad what a mess he was.

He would be informing his father of how much a mess his only son was.

"Blaine?" Kurt called and stared out the window, watching the trees blur by.

"Mhmm?"

"Can we turn around and go back?" His voice was childlike and small and Kurt hated it.

"Why? I thought we were going to go talk to your parents and get better." If it was any other time, the fact that Blaine had used 'we' and made all of Kurt's problems his own would have warmed his heart.

"I was. I mean, I am, but my dads heart isn't good and-" Blaine cut off his voice that had been getting faster and higher with every word.

"Babe, calm down. It's going to be okay and I'll be with you to hold your hand." The giggle that followed his words was unexpected. "What's so funny?"

"You called me babe." Kurt informed him like it the most obvious thing in the world in a love struck and breathless tone.

"I did, didn't I? Do you not like it or something?"

The blue /gray/green eyed boy shook his head rapidly. "No, it was just unexpected." Kurt's smile was wide and it made Blaine's chest feel oddly light to see him that happy after everything they had been through. "A good unexpected." Kurt made sure to add before turning on the radio lowly and humming along to a song that was playing. They were in Blaine's car so the station playing was mostly Top 40.

The rest of the ride was peaceful and filled with singing and laughing. Kurt was trying to keep his mind off of the inevitable passing of time and Blaine was genuinely having a good time, getting lost in the rare carefree atmosphere.

Then the car stopped and Kurt could feel his pulse quicken and his palms turn sweaty and clammy. "Come on, let's go and get this over with." Blaine told him and got out of the car.

Kurt however, made no move to open his door and only got out when Blaine opened his door for him and motioned for him to get out. His body worked on autopilot and he numbly unbuckled his seatbelt with shaky fingers. Blaine held a hand out to him to hold and Kurt shook his head. "My hands are sweaty and gross. There is no way I'm holding your hand."

Blaine chuckled before putting a hand on the small of his back to guide him to the door.

**First of all, to the reviewer who asked what my tumblr it is- it's khccglee . tumblr . com but without the spaces. I'm glad to talk to anybody going through anything like this on there or if you want to message me on here. **

**Secondly, OH MY GOD YOU GUYS! TWO HUNDRED REVIEWS. I love you all, so much. I really wanted to get another chapter out faster because of all that support I'm getting. **

**And so now we begin the journey of Kurt finally trying to get better. This shall be fun. **

**Review?**


	11. Chapter 10

**I don't own Glee.**

There were many times in his life when Kurt found himself thinking about how much he was probably disappointing his father. Now, he knew that Burt loved him unconditionally and accepted him for who he was, skirt wearing and all, but that didn't mean that he couldn't be even the tiniest bit disappointed in him.

The first night he had come out to his dad, the relief he felt when his dad was cool about him actually being gay and liking boys was edged with thought that he wasn't what his dad had wanted. He knew how much his dad loved him, but he was still hoping for a little baby boy who he could teach the rough sport of football to and advise him in the complicated subject of women. There were much more events that Kurt could list where that came from.

Ever since Kurt's mother had passed away, the little bright eyed boy had made it a point to always take care of his daddy. His child like innocence was put to rest with his mom as he saw how sad and tired his dad seemed to be and all he wanted to do was take away any and all stress he might be causing him. In his wide eyes, it was the least he could do to help.

Then, like anyone else, he grew up and that habit of worrying and caring for his dad had never been grown out of, and why would it? It certainly didn't help when Burt Hummel ate everything covered in salt and drenched in grease, ultimately resulting in that heart attack that Kurt had been warning him about for years. That week he was in the hospital, in a coma, stretched out like an eternity for the teenager and for the longest time after that he remembered putting his dad's heart health as one of the most important things in his life.

The majority of his time was spent finding heart healthy recipes and perfecting them in a way that Burt would complain about the flavor, or lack thereof, of the dish. He always remembered to refill the prescriptions and make Burt take his medication no matter how much his dad protested. For a while, Kurt spent his time both figuratively and literally tip toeing around his dad.

So not only was he becoming another disappointment in his dads eyes, but now he was jeopardizing his heart with unnecessary stress and worry that he sure as hell did not need anywhere near his life. Actually, no one needed this mess in their lives, not Carole or Finn, or his friends, especially not Blaine or his dad.

Only slightly where his fears quelled when he felt the reassuring warm pressure that was Blaine's caring hand on the small of his back pushing him towards the daunting door that seemed to be growing in size with every single step.

"It's okay, I got your back." Blaine spoke those few words and Kurt felt a sudden wave of déjà vu. The concrete steps and chain link fences that made the school look more like a gray prison than an actual high school. Karofsky's stocky form in that hulking red Titans jacket pushing Blaine into said fence and denying everything and anything that had to do with that kiss.

It was almost laughable_, almost_, to Kurt that he had thought that the bullying and forced kiss from a closeted jock that just so happened to also be the main offender for his daily slushy facial were the worst of his problems. He wasn't saying that those weren't big problems, trust me they were, Kurt could testify to that, but right now he would kill for a situation like that.

He stepped up in front of the door of his own house and watched as Blaine raised his hand to knock on the door. Kurt swiftly grabbed his forearm and pulled it down before it made contact with the thick wood.

"Don't be silly." Kurt gave a dry and humorless laugh the sound catching and sounding wrong in his throat and just the situation in general. "I live here, remember? It's my house."

Blaine just nodded his curly head and slid his hand from his back to intertwine his fingers with the shaky pale ones, giving a squeeze of encouragement while leaning over to whisper in his ear. "Courage." He reminded softly before dropping a lingering gentle kiss onto Kurt's now heated cheek.

"If only it was that easy." Kurt muttered bitterly, trying to calm his shallow breaths and teach himself how to open a door. Instead of using words to respond, Blaine settled on giving his fingers another calming squeeze and nudging his stiff body towards the door to encourage him to really use the doorknob.

_I'm okay. Everything is going to work out, right?_

"Everything is going to work out, right?" Kurt sounded more like he was trying to reassure himself but Blaine found himself nodding and responding anyway.

"I promise, Kurt. Everything will be fine, you'll see." The younger boy exhaled shakily through his nose and tried with all his will to even out the erratic beating that his heart was doing in his chest. It was proving to be a difficult task though, seeing as in just a few minutes he would be telling his dad about _everything_.

He didn't even want to think about the looks and emotions that would cross their faces. Pity, confusion, _shame_.

Finally, his sweaty hand that wasn't attached to Blaine's rose and made its slow journey towards the brass doorknob. Kurt had just grasped the shiny handle firmly in his hands, ready to twist and pull when the door was wrenched from his hold and he felt a huge object collide with him and knock him and Blaine back a few steps, effectively ripping their hands apart and away from the warm comfort that they maintained.

"Oh my go- wait? Kurt? What are you doing here? I thought that Burt said something about you not coming home this weekend. It had to do with you not having homework or having too much of it... I don't remember. Well, I guess the weekends already more than halfway over, so maybe you're just coming home now? Oh, hi Blaine!" Blaine waved a hand to acknowledge Finn and gazed uncertainly at the tall teen. "Anyway, why were you just standing around on the porch?" Finn's rushed words were accompanied by the actions of both Kurt and Blaine regaining their balance and Kurt reaching out for his boyfriend's hand again.

"I wasn't _just_ standing around on the porch, Finn. I _was_ walking in and if you actually took the time to look around before barreling around like an incompetent dinosaur then you would have been able to notice me and control your freakishly long limbs from colliding with me." Kurt snapped and ran a swift hand through his bangs that were swooped a good two inches above his scalp.

"Well, I don't know about that." Finn began unsurely, looking down and shuffling his feet awkwardly. "Even when I know where I'm going, I still can't control my arms and legs. I think it's because I'm so tall that my brain has trouble telling my body what to do. It's probably the reason that I really suck at dancing." The frankenteen finished his theory rather dejectedly, but perked back up in a matter of seconds when his mind seemed to move onto something else.

"But, hey! You still haven't answered my question. What are you doing here and why haven't you gone inside already?" Questioned his jock of a step brother, not registering the fact that he was currently in front of the door and blocking their way inside.

"You're in front of the door, Finn." Blaine told him.

"Oh, huh. Yeah, I guess I am." Kurt found himself smiling despite his inner turmoil and panic at the look of pure shock on his step brothers face at the fact that he was the sole thing keeping his small brother and boyfriend from making their way inside the house.

Blaine shook his head and put aside his manners that had been drilled into his head ever since he was born, and stepped inside the doorway without being asked first. Not that the Hudmels would object anyway, but he thought it would be better for Kurt if he had someone urging him inside instead of waiting for him to make the first move by himself.

Kurt willingly followed behind his boyfriend over the threshold and into the house, but stopped to turn around and face his step brother when he noticed that there wasn't any heavy, uncoordinated stomping behind him that usually signified Finn. "Finn, aren't you coming inside?"

The tall teen just shook his head. "No, I'm going out with Puck and some of the other guys tonight." He told him, but looked like he wanted to say something else. Instead of voicing the words that seemed to be lost in his throat, he took three big steps to Kurt and pulled him from Blaine's grasp into a tight hug. "I'll miss you, dude."

Blaine watched on with awe and love, his heart swelling at the warm and compassionate sight. He knew that what Kurt needed more than anything at this moment was love and acceptance to truly heal. Now, he wasn't saying that a true loves kiss could solve the biggest problems like in the Disney moments he watched as a kid (and still did to this day). What Kurt needed was to believe that he was loved and that everyone loved him just the way he was.

The pair broke apart and with an awkward, heavy pat on the shoulder and a nod, Finn was once again barreling through the doorway and out of the house. As much as Kurt missed Finn and wished he could have stayed and caught up with him, there was a small part of him rejoicing in the fact that he wasn't here anymore. Not that he didn't like Finn; he just didn't need him to be there to witness Kurt's confession. It was bad enough he had to tell his dad, which most likely would have Carole by his side.

It was then that Burt decided to stomp down the stairs calling out "Finn? You still here? I thought I heard someone else here." Kurt could barely contain the eye roll at the fact that no one in the house could walk properly without creating a ruckus.

"Finn's not here, dad. It's just me." He swallowed his feeling of unease and tried to steady his voice as best as possible.

Burt appeared in front of Kurt. "Kurt? What are you doing here?" He asked in a happily surprised tone and pulled his son into a tight hug just like Finn had.

Kurt doesn't respond, pulling away from Burt and looking to Blaine, the words getting caught on his lips. The moment is oddly surreal, because although he knew what he was planning on doing for a few hours now, the actual time is here and it's hitting him hard. This is actually going to happen and Kurt doesn't want to do this at all.

Blaine read Kurt's face and took the opportunity of strained silence to speak. "Kurt and I have something we need to talk to you about, Mr. Hummel." His tone is the perfect voice that's usually reserved for teachers at Dalton.

Burt nodded and eyed back and forth between the boys suspiciously. "Alright, let's go into the living room then." Kurt watched warily as his father settled comfortably in his chair and watched Kurt concernedly, fearing the worst. Blaine pulled Kurt to the sofa and sat beside him, rubbing small words of comfort and reassurance into the silky skin.

"What is it that you wanted to tell me?" He asked and eyed the clasped hands between the boys. "You two… you know, together?"

Kurt took a deep breath and attempted a smile which came out more like a crooked grin, but a smile none the less. "Yes, but that's not what I need to tell you." It was now or never. He could do this. He _had _to do this. "Dad, I need you to promise not to freak out or turn really over protective like you usually do, okay? Because what I'm going to tell you sounds worse than it actually is." Blaine made a small sound of protest, but Kurt continued anyway. "I need you to know that I'm completely fine and I have everything under control, so there really is no need to worry."

Even with his focus trained on his dad, he could feel the heat of Blaine's gaze on his face. He knew that Blaine was probably frustrated at the fact that Kurt was downplaying his condition for his father's sake.

"Kid, you're starting to scare me. What the hell is going on?" The hard tone of voice that Blaine had dubbed as 'Papa Bear Hummel' made itself known with his questioning.

The pale boy squeezed the hand in his a little bit tighter and squished his eyes closed for a moment to clear his head. He tried to find a way to explain the situation without making it sound too harsh or bad. He needed to make it sound like he wasn't crazy and needed to be fixed.

"Well, um… for a little while, I haven't been eating that much." The words were rushed and stuttered in a higher, worried pitch and Blaine could feel the sweat forming on Kurt's shaky palm.

"What do you mean you haven't been eating?" Burt's eyes were hard and boring into Kurt's, his tone determined as he demanded to know what his son meant.

Kurt hesitated for a moment before starting to speak again after Blaine used his free hand to rub Kurt's arm soothingly. "I was t-trying to lose some weight and I just… didn't eat." If they hadn't been in front of Burt, Blaine would have pulled Kurt into his lap and hugged him tighter than ever before. The tone of voice he had was heartbreakingly soft and scared.

Burt looked concerned, scared, sad, and every other emotion under the sun that related to a feeling of protectiveness towards his son. His son who looked devastated at the moment, his eyes filled with an unidentifiable emotion. He watched as Kurt ducked his head, staring down at his knees and realized what said emotion really way. Shame.

"Kurt, how long has this been going on?" He demanded, no room for questioning him.

When he raised his head, his eyes were watery although no tears were displayed on his cheeks. "I don't know, a couple of weeks. I'm sorry." He added the last two words quickly.

Blaine tilted his head towards Kurt's as a sign to show Kurt that he loved him with all his heart and he shouldn't be sorry. Burt on the other hand, used his voice to express his opinion. "No, Kurt. Don't be sorry; just tell me what was going on."

"There's nothing really to tell. I just tried to lose weight by not eating and Blaine found out and made me tell you." Kurt shrugged stiffly and hung his head. Blaine was itching to just reach out and hold Kurt, but he knew Burt probably wouldn't like that so he dispersedly settled on rubbing his arm more. The older boy was also yearning to tell Kurt that he needed to tell Burt everything and not just half of it.

"How did he find out?" Burt looked briefly at Blaine and then back to Kurt.

Kurt's inner panic set in again, because really, how was he supposed to tell his dad that without getting into more trouble and being even more of a disappointment that he already was. He had gone to a party where people were drinking with someone who he barely knew, where he puked his food up, and had to call Blaine to pick him up. Blaine found out because Liam had somehow found out and told him.

"I noticed Kurt wasn't eating and I confronted him about it." Blaine stepped in when he noticed the subtle shake of Kurt's hand in his. "Kurt told me about _everything_ he was doing and I concluded that it would be best for him to tell you and probably get help." Kurt was eternally grateful for Blaine, but he didn't miss the hint.

Burt didn't either. "Kurt, is there something else you want to tell me?" He asked sternly. His mind was turning, his heart clenching, and his stomach turning.

And then time slowed down to a crawl in Kurt's mind. How was he really supposed to just come out and tell him that he was doing this sort of thing? "Umm… I…"

"Just spit it out." Burt told him anxiously.

Wide eyes turned helplessly to Blaine who in turn didn't think twice before tugging his hand away from Kurt and slinging his arm around his hunched shoulders in comfort. "It's okay, I'm right here." He whispered into his ear.

"_I threw up_."

Burt's mind went from racing to a sluggish whirl in one second. His baby was having a problem as serious as this and he was just now finding out? Something was wrong with Kurt and he had to fix it. His heart pounded with the next words. "What do you mean, Kurt? What… you have an eating disorder?"

A sharp intake of breath sounded from the paler than usual boy. Never before had he heard those words out loud and now he was being labeled and told that he had a disorder. His heart rate rocketed as he realized that that was exactly what he had. Breaths came out quicker as everything came crashing down around him. "I'm- I'm sorry, dad. I don't… I didn't…"

"Hey, calm down. Kurt, take a breath." Blaine coached him and rubbed his back in small circles, concern flowing through his voice.

"I'm not mad at you Kurt. I'm confused as to what is happening." His dad's voice was soft and sad, something that pulled at Kurt's heart guiltily and made him feel even worse then he was already.

"I have an eating disorder." He choked out. "I need help. I need to be fixed." The word's coming out of his mouth sounded foreign to his own ears. This was the one thing that he specifically told himself that wasn't true, but now it was all coming out. He really did have an eating disorder and it needed to be helped, but at the same time, no one understood what Kurt was feeling. How could they possibly ever help?

"Don't say that, you're fine. Everything will be fine." Blaine continued whispering reassurances into his ear as Burt looked on with concern filled eyes.

What was a parent supposed to do in a situation like this? "Kurt, I need you to talk to me. I can't help you if you won't talk to me." He was trying so hard to be the voice of reason and keep a stern tone in that moment, but when you had a close to tears kid on the couch, confessing his issues to you, it was an admittedly hard thing to do.

Kurt nodded numbly and sucked in a ragged breath to try and fill his quivering lungs and throat. "I just needed to lose all this disgusting weight." He said, motioning to his body. "And I ate healthy, but nothing seemed to work. I resorted to other methods. That's pretty much it, but I'll get help. Please, don't be disappointed. I'm sorry." His last words were rushed out and stuttered. They tore at both Blaine and Burt's hearts.

Burt was up from his chair in an instant, and rushed to sit beside Kurt on the couch, pulling his away from Blaine and into his safe and strong arms. "Kiddo, you need to listen to me, okay?" He nodded weakly and let a single tear drip from his eye. "You are not a disappointment whatsoever. You will never ever make me feel disappointed you. I am so proud to be able to call someone as strong as you my son, but you need to let us help you through this.

I know from experience how damned closed up you can become and I need you to promise me that you won't do that. You have lots of people that love you like me, Carole, Finn and… and Blaine." His eyes were wet with sorrowful tears and he squeezed Kurt all that much tighter when he felt the smaller and younger boy shudder in his arms.

Burt tried to ignore the fact that Kurt' felt so much smaller in his arms than the last time he had hugged him. He pulled away reluctantly and stood up from the couch. "I need to go call the school." He announced solemnly.

"Wait, _what_?" Kurt exclaimed before his father made his way fully out of the room.

"Kurt, I am not letting you go back to the school when something like this happened there. I need to be able to make sure you eat and I can't do that with you two hours away, now can I? I need to make sure you get better." His dad told him, leaving no room for questioning.

Both teenagers' heart's sped up with worry. "No, dad, wait! Please, I know that what I'm doing is wrong and I'm going to try and get better. I have Blaine there to make sure I eat, why do you think he was the one to notice in the first place?" Kurt pleaded and prayed that his dad would listen to him for once. He had become the king at throwing tantrums and getting his way, but Burt had also become the king at ignoring his son's tantrums and refusing him.

"I don't know, Kurt…" He looked unsurely at Kurt.

"I promise that I will try and get better and the first time that something goes wrong you can have Blaine call you or something. Just, please, don't pull me out of boarding."

"Kiddo, I don't want to do this to you, but I think it's for the best. I don't want anything else to happen to you. How can I be absolutely sure if you are so far away?" Burt looked like he had made his decision and was about to leave the room again, but stopped when Kurt blurted out a compromise.

"I'll go to a counselor or a support group or anything! I really am trying to get better, you have to believe me." Blaine silently wiped the stray tears off of Kurt's flushed cheek and wished that he could be kissing them away instead of using his fingers.

Burt was conflicted to say the least. He knew that Kurt was stubborn beyond belief, and he also knew that Kurt wouldn't normally ever agree to get help by a professional. Obviously, he was going to have Kurt go see someone, but his son would have fought against the idea. Now, he was offering to do it, but only if he was allowed to stay at Dalton, which was not so conveniently located two hours away.

"I don't know…"

"If I have Blaine and I promise to see someone then you won't have to worry about anything going wrong." Kurt bargained.

Burt was silent for a minute before releasing a long and tired, suffering sigh. "I'll think about it." He finally told him.

The glasz eyed boy swallowed his scoff. "Well I kind of need to know now, seeing as Blaine and I need to head back to Dalton tonight before it gets dark."

"You are not going back tonight. You're going to stay home and eat dinner and breakfast." He told him in a hard voice, his gaze boring into Kurt's.

"What-? I have to go back, dad. Blaine and I drove here together in my car." Kurt visibly floundered in his dad's clueless ways.

Again, it was a moment before Burt answered. He seemed to be thinking hard from the hard look on his face, wheels practically turning and cranking in his mind. "He can stay too." Burt sighed, not that he sounded put out. Just, as worried as any father could be in this situation. "But on the couch." He added quickly.

"Now, I have to go talk to Carole about dinner." Burt announced, moving to leave the room once again. Kurt's face morphed into an expression of worry and wide eyed, deer in the head light scared.

"Are you going to tell her about… everything?" He asked fearfully. If he truly thought about it, it might be for the best to inform his step mother on what was going on, but two people already knew and that was enough for Kurt. It seemed that his dad and Blaine were trying to be understanding about everything, but you could never be too sure.

"I think I should, don't you?" He questioned carefully, wanting anything but to upset his distressed son.

All Kurt could do was give a small nod in response, not wanting to trouble Burt anymore than he had today. It was a moment before he could hear the tell tale signs of Burt being upstairs, like the heavy footsteps walking down the hallway and the click of the door shutting behind him.

"Kurt? Are you okay?" Blaine asked quietly, pulling Kurt closer to his chest.

"Can we just go to my room?" Kurt asked, looking and sounding exhausted with life. Blaine nodded and pulled him gently off of the couch and towards his new room upstairs. The older boy had been there many times before, so he was able to focus more on Kurt than actually getting to the room.

Kurt looked emotionally tired and just plain _sad_. He truly could not imagine what was going through his head at that moment, but he imagined it had to be horrible and that thought tore at Blaine's heart strings.

"Will you just lay with me?" He asked, his bottom lip protruding in a small pout and Blaine couldn't help but melt and nod.

"Of course I will." Kurt crawled on to his bed and rested his head on a soft pillow, sighing and closing his eyes. Blaine followed him, slipping out of his shoes and lying beside Kurt.

The curly haired junior shuffled closer to his boyfriend and smiled sadly. His hand reached out to caress his exposed neck, making Kurt's eyes flutter open slowly. "I'm really glad that you told your dad, Kurt. I know it doesn't seem like it, but everything will be okay in time."

Kurt's lip quivered and before Blaine knew it, his eyes were squeezed shut and trying to stop the tears from falling. He groaned in frustration and rubbed violently at his eyelids before Blaine pulled them away and moved his hand up to rest on his cheek. "I'm sorry. It seems like I'm always crying around you and it's not fair to you."

Blaine shook his head and wordlessly pressed a kiss to each eyelid. "It's okay to cry. Don't ever be ashamed to show your feelings in front of me. Today was a hard day for you, why don't you talk to me about it?"

"I was so sacred, Blaine. I really thought my dad would be mad and although he wasn't, he doesn't understand. Now he might not let me go back to boarding at Dalton and oh god, I didn't even make sure if it's alright if you stay the night. I'm sorry-"

"No." Blaine cut him off. "It's alright, I can stay. Don't worry about it. All you need to be doing right now is resting before we have to get back up for dinner tonight." He finished, pulling Kurt tighter to his chest.

The porcelain skinned boy exhaled through his nose and buried his face in the crook of Blaine's neck, pressing his lips against the skin he found there. "I love you." He whispered against the hot skin that smelled of Blaine and everything he had come to love.

"I love you so much, Kurt." A kiss was pressed onto the soft hair he could reach and his arms rubbed the back and arms he was holding.

For the next three hours, both boys spent there time wrapped up in each other, whispering words of love and comfort to each other and just being. Small kisses were shared between the two and they couldn't keep the thought that that moment was perfect away.

It was Carole who ended up knocking on the door lightly and alerting the pair that dinner was finished.

Blaine sat up first, missing the warmth that Kurt had provided instantly. "Come on, we should go down." He spoke slowly and reluctantly, keeping his hand intertwined in the pale one that he loved so much.

Silently, Kurt sat up and scooted off the bed, smoothing his clothes as best he could with one free hand. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

Blaine chuckled quietly and began his trek downstairs into the dining room. The walk was quiet yet comfortable, both of them knowing that the dinner wouldn't be the easiest thing ever.

Carole and Burt were already sitting at the set table, complete with lasagna and salad. Blaine and Kurt sat down besides each other and kept their clasped hands under the table. "Were is Finn?" Kurt broke the silence.

"He's still out with the boys." Carole informed him with careful and pitying eyes. That was the one thing Kurt knew would happen if people found out and he hated it more than anything. Instead of voicing his displeasure, he nodded and looked down at his empty plate.

"Well, come on now! This food isn't going to eat itself!" Burt's enthusiasm was not fooling him in the least. It was no surprise that everyone at the table would be wanting and watching Kurt's every bite, chew, and swallow. Scrutinizing whether or not he was actually eating or still be a mental case.

By the time everybody's plates were full, Kurt had ended up with more salad and a small piece of lasagna. The heat of Blaine's watchful eye was practically burning a hole into his head and he could feel the stare of both his dad and Carole. It was overwhelming to say the least.

He raised his salad filled fork up to his mouth and took a bite, chewing slowly and swallowing thickly. "You know, last time I checked, my eating wasn't an anticipated event." He bit out after he had swallowed, eyeing every single one of them.

Blaine squeezed his hand, Burt muttered something under his breath and Carole frowned.

"Honey, we just want you to be okay." She tried, her voice caring.

"If I needed a baby sitter I would tell you." He mumbled bitterly and stabbed the food that he hated himself for eating with his fork.

"Kurt, watch yourself." Burt warned and the silence that followed after was uncomfortable and heavy. Everybody still watched to see Kurt eat slowly, but this time it was slyer and out of the corner of their eyes.

"Carole, this lasagna is delicious." Blaine complimented the food, turning on his charming smile and dazzling eyes.

The wanted response was earned as Carole laughed. "Thank you, Blaine. That's very sweet of you. Would you like anymore?" She asked, noticing that his plate was empty.

"No, thank you." He declined politely and wiped his mouth on a napkin. Nearly all the food on everybody's plates was gone except Kurt's who had only made it through half of his plate.

It was obvious that everyone was done already, but they stalled with idle conversation and sipping torturously slowly on their drinks. Kurt swallowed the scathing remark and repressed the urge to roll his eyes, focusing on getting his food successfully into his stomach and out of every ones minds.

It was far easier said than done, though. Just because he said that he was going to try and get better, it didn't mean that it made it any easier. He was till insecure about his body, thoughts about how each bite made the problem worse passing through his head. With every bite, his heart sunk lower until he was finally full.

Admittedly proud of himself for being able to eat until he was full and push away the mean mind set, Kurt looked down to see a rather discouraging sight. His plate was still close to half full.

Kurt dropped his fork and pushed his plate away an inch. "Thank you for dinner, Carole. It was truly scrumptious." His voice sickly sweet as he ignored every single one of the stares he received.

"Aren't you going to finish your dinner?" Burt asked, thinly veiling his concern with a tone of curiosity.

"Honey, I think he ate as much as he could." Carole told her husband.

"Can we please stop acting like we understand what I'm going through?" He snapped viciously. Everything was in strained silence for a small moment.

"Kurt I know you may be going through something, but that is no excuse to treat us with disrespect when we are just trying to help. Now, I want you to apologize to Carole." With that, everybody turned to Kurt in anticipation of his next move.

He breathed heavily through his nose before turning to Carole. "I'm sorry if my words offended you in anyway, shape, or form. Now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm going up to my room." His voice dripped with sarcasm and he all but stomped out of the room.

Burt let out a long sigh and rubbed his forehead. "I don't know what to do." He admitted in a small voice. "I feel like I need to do something, but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do about this."

"I know how you feel." Blaine agreed, looking after Kurt, wanting nothing more than just to follow him up to his room and talk to him.

"Burt, sweetheart, his issues aren't going to go away over night. He's still going to have those problems for a while whether we like it or not and all we can do is get him help and be there with him every step of the way." Blaine nodded along with Carole's sincere words, but then suddenly froze as he realized something.

Last time Kurt was alone after a meal… oh god. He needed to go to Kurt now before something happened.

"Dinner was lovely, thank you for having me." Blaine thanked them politely. "If you'll excuse me." With that, he abruptly stood up and made his way to Kurt's door in thirty seconds.

"Kurt? Can I come in?" He asked frantically, praying to everything holy that Kurt would be doing something like lying on his bed or on his laptop. His heart beat faster when he heard shuffling behind the door until finally, Kurt opened it and let him in.

"Oh thank god." Blaine muttered and pulled Kurt into a tight hug. "You scared me for a second there." He may have held on tighter than necessary, but Kurt didn't seem to mind all that much.

"Why?" Kurt wondered out loud.

This time, Blaine didn't answer, fearing that it might cause another one of Kurt's tantrums. In the end though, Kurt was able to put two and two together.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into the soft curls that tickled his nose and brushed his cheeks. "I don't want to, but I was thinking about it."

Blaine just holds Kurt all the more tighter and pulls his head away to place a soft kiss against his lips. Kurt melted into the kiss automatically, bringing his hand up to tangle in the soft curls and the other one to rest against Blaine's cheek. The older boy leans against the hand while keeping his hands on Kurt's waist, tilting his head and opening his mouth slightly in an attempt to get a better angle.

Slowly but surely, the kiss becomes more heated with the tentative swipe of a tongue on a lip and a clink of teeth together. Blaine gasped into Kurt's mouth and the pair broke apart to catch their breaths. Their foreheads leaned against each others along with their heaving chests.

Somehow, they end up on the bed after changing into pajamas (Blaine borrowing some of Kurt's), just lying together and memorizing each other. It's quiet and comfortable and perfect.

Kurt's mind was still preoccupied with the urge to say he had to go to the bathroom and instead, throw up the food he ate.

"_Kurt_…" Blaine's breathy, sleep thick voice broke through his thoughts.

The younger boy looked down and smiled when he noticed that the other had fallen asleep. He looked so peaceful, so perfect and calm. Kurt decided that he wanted to see that expression worn not just when he was dreaming, but when he was awake too.

With all of this chaotic mess, it was no wonder that Blaine didn't look like this more when he was conscious. Kurt took that thought and snuggled into Blaine's side.

Everything would get better. It had to.

**It has been too long and for that, I am a horrible person. I feel so bad you guys, I can't even begin to tell you. I am so so so so so sorry. Life has just been really really hard for me lately and I've been going through a lot, but that's no excuse. I feel like a jerk. **

**To all of you who continue to review even though I do this, I truly do love you. You are my world.**


	12. Chapter 11

**I don't own Glee. **

Blaine couldn't remember the last time he had felt so comfortable.

The morning sky was gray, crowded with heavy clouds that threatened to spill over with thick droplets of water onto the cold ground. A light wind blew gently at the leaves on a tree outside of the window, making it flutter dramatically. Overall, it was one of those days that you just felt the urge to pull the blanket tighter around you and never leave the cocoon of warmth your soft bed provided and that's exactly what Blaine did.

He honestly didn't remember falling asleep in Kurt's bed, but apparently he did, seeing as that's where he was currently located alongside Kurt. The door was open wide as to reassure Burt that the boys weren't doing anything inappropriate and there was a faint clattering of dishes coming from downstairs, probably Carole making breakfast or Finn attempting to make something to eat. None of that mattered to the teenager though.

His arms stretched above his head as he arched his back and straightened out his legs, experiencing the best feeling in the world. Releasing a pleased smile, he curled back into his previous position to face the object of his love and so much more.

The smile that grew on Blaine's dry lips could only be described as awe struck and dopey as his warm, heavy lidded eyes traveled across the face he had learned to read so well. It was maybe the way that Kurt's lips fell open only slightly as he breathed out and in quietly or the small twitch and scrunch of his nose every so often, but Blaine's heart swelled enormously with love.

It had been a very long time since he had seen him look so peaceful, so calm and just _okay_. There wasn't a worry in the world that graced Kurt's sleepy state. He had an arm curled up underneath him which he rested his head on, the other folded into his chest. His knees were bent slightly and Blaine scooted closer into the open cold space left between them that he decided _definitely should not be there_.

For a while, the only real smiles that Blaine got to see on Kurt where those from his memory. Lately, with all of these lies and tension, Kurt only wore fake smiles or frowns, something that the older boy was beyond grateful to see replaced with the smile he saw at that indescribable moment.

His expressions were always guarded and his movements stiff as if he knew someone was watching him. Then, after Blaine had confronted him, they were self conscious as if he was afraid that he would see him and leave, which the awoken boy thought was utterly and downright ridiculous.

He wasn't dumb, far from it, actually. He knew that nothing was going to fix itself in a couple days time now that everyone knew and wanted him to stop. Kurt's problems were bigger than all of them and just like Kurt had said, no one could really understand. All he could do now was get him help from someone who _could_ understand and do his best to make him believe that he was perfect in every way.

Easier said then done.

That in itself would be a hard task, but he wouldn't give up nor did he want to. Kurt was _finally _his now and he loved him just as much with all his problems.

A small sigh passed through those pink lips Blaine loved to kiss and brought him back to reality and away from his thoughts. Before, he hadn't wanted to wake him up seeing as he looked so content and beautiful, but now the pale boy was showing the first signs of walking up so it wouldn't hurt for him to help him along the way.

The curly haired boy leaned closer so he was in perfect distance to lean over the sleeping boy and plant a feather light kiss right on the tip of his nose. He chuckled lightly as Kurt did that nose twitching thing that Blaine found himself growing so fond of.

It was only seven seconds before Blaine was dropping another kiss onto Kurt's eyelid this time. His eyebrows furrowed slightly at the tickling sensation.

There were several more kisses joined by several more adorable sleepy reactions before Kurt's eyes finally, slowly but surely fluttered open blearily.

"Well hello there sleepy head." Blaine whispered, leaning away a tiny bit to allow Kurt to sit up and look around.

"Good morning." Kurt croaked, his voice thick and tired. He yawned, suspiciously looking like a kitten, and stretched his arms above his head. "I like your hair." He muttered sarcastically, rubbing the sleep out of one of his eyes with the back of his hand.

Blaine pulled himself up into a sitting position, crossing his legs Indian style and facing Kurt. One hand flew to his hair in an attempt to flatten the crazy mess that it no doubt was. "Hey, don't be mean. I could say the same for you." He shot back.

Kurt just rolled his eyes and ran a quick hand through his bangs. "At least I don't look like someone tried to use my head to mop their floor." His words were accompanied with a smile, letting Blaine know that he was just kidding around. "But in all seriousness, I really do like your hair like this." He told him with earnest eyes, hesitantly reaching out to twirl a curl around his slim finger.

The other boy leaned closer, and Kurt found out just how soft his hair was. "It's a wonder your hair isn't ruined with all that gel you put in it."

"It's a wonder your hair isn't ruined with all that hairspray you put in it." Blaine repeated, earning a playful smack on the arm from his boyfriend.

"My hair is fabulous and you know it." He tilted his chin up and crossed his arms across his chest before laughing along with Blaine.

"What time is it?" He asked, looking out the window and taking in the gray sky.

"I think it's a little after ten, why?"

Kurt shook his head. "No reason, just curiosity." He shrugged his shoulders.

Blaine tsk'ed disapprovingly to which Kurt raised a puzzling eyebrow. "You know what they say. Curiosity killed the cat."

"Oh my god." Kurt groaned. "You are such a dork!"

"You know you love it." Blaine told him and rolled off the bed. He looked like he was about to say something else, but a knock at the door averted both boy's attention.

Finn stood there awkwardly. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" He asked dumbly, eyeing between Blaine and his step brother.

"Finn, we're six feet apart. Seriously?" Kurt asked incredulously as Blaine just shook his head to answer Finn's question.

The giant nodded approvingly and smiled. "Okay, cool. Well, Mom says that breakfast is ready and that you guys should come downstairs so you can eat and stuff. It smells really good."

Instead of answering Finn, Blaine watched Kurt to see what he would say to breakfast. Kurt just nodded. "Well, we should head down before you eat everything."

"Hey! I don't eat _that_ much."

"You eat enough to feed a small orphanage." Kurt informed and got off the bed. "Now, stop arguing and let's go." He ushered Finn out of the door way and walked besides Blaine down the stairs, their hands brushing against each other and their shoulders bumping playfully, both of them weakly concealing grins.

"Hello boys." Carole called cheerfully from her spot in the kitchen. "I made a lot, so I hope you three are hungry." She finished as she sat another plate on the already crowded table.

Burt sipped on his coffee and put down the newspaper he had been eyeing. "Hey kiddo, sleep well?"

Kurt nodded, sitting down in a chair and motioning for Blaine to slip in beside him. "Oh, you two looked so cute last night. I know that Burt told you that Blaine needed to sleep on the couch, but I didn't have the heart to wake you up. The both of you looked so peaceful." Carole gushed and Burt grunted.

Blaine smiled at Carole as his hand found Kurt's under the table. "Thank you for breakfast, this looks delicious." The charm oozing from his voice made both Kurt and Carole swoon.

"You're such a sweet boy." She told him and patted his cheek before sitting down across from her husband and next to her son. "Eat up, boys."

Finn didn't need to be told twice. He immediately jumped on the task of filling his plate to the brim and then stacking some food on top, digging in when he seemed to be satisfied with the mountain he had created. Burt filled his plate while grumbling something about not having salt or something all the while slyly eyeing Kurt.

Kurt took a piece of toast, some eggs, and a couple pieces of fruit. It wasn't much, but Blaine knew that he was trying. He couldn't' even begin to imagine the ongoing struggle Kurt faced with the daily task of eating.

Much like yesterday, everyone (excluding Finn who seemed to not be informed on what was going on) was watching Kurt as he tentatively ate the food. As much as Kurt loved being the center of attention, this was too much and he swallowed the urge to snap and lash out.

Kurt was taking bite after bite, swallowing the food too quickly to even remember the taste of it. He was trying to get it over with, to make everyone stop looking at him and watching him like he was going to snap. He knew that they were eyeing him and judging him, making sure he didn't have any more complications.

It was tiring and irritating to say the least. Kurt needed to prove to them that he was strong and could do this. He needed to make them see that he could eat and try to get better. If they could just see that he wasn't crazy, then maybe they would understand a little bit better.

"Why is everybody being so quiet?" Finn asked through a mouth full of half chewed food.

"Finn, chew with your mouth closed." Carole reprimanded, skillfully glossing over his original question.

He grumbled something, but easily forgot about his query when he took another bite of his food.

"When are you boys heading back?" Burt questioned, taking a bite of toast.

"Most likely in an hour or two." Kurt told his dad who nodded.

"Okay, I want to talk to the both of you before you head out." His dad motioned between Kurt and Blaine with stern eyes. Blaine watched as Kurt's eyes hardened but he nodded anyway. He gave the hand in his a squeeze to remind him that he was still here for him.

Kurt pushed his mostly empty plate away and smiled. "Thank you Carole. That was lovely, now if you'll excuse me, I should go get ready." He stood up and turned around before leaving the room. "Are you coming, Blaine?"

Being the well mannered thing he was, Blaine hurriedly thanked the Hudmel's and rushed after Kurt who was already in his room. "Are you okay?" He asked as he leaned against the door frame and watched Kurt step into his bathroom to sit at his vanity.

Kurt eyed him through the mirror before opening various products used in his moisturizing regime. "I think Carole washed your clothes from yesterday if you want to change." He told him; completely ignoring Blaine's well meant concern.

It wasn't that he felt like there was something wrong with Kurt, but with everything, he couldn't help but feel anxious whenever he ate. The short time after every meal would always be accompanied with anxiousness and that was something he knew he would never be able to grow out of.

The urge to help Kurt get past this was overwhelming and he knew that he would help him through whatever he went through. It was what being in love meant, he could understand that now.

"I'm not trying to be annoying and pester you, I'm just worried." Blaine told him honestly, pushing himself away from the wall and making his way towards the boy lathering his face in something Blaine didn't know the name of.

"I don't know why, I've told you a million times that I'm fine." His voice was forcefully cheery which was usually the warning to stop.

"Are you though?"

A clang sounded loudly through the quiet atmosphere as Kurt slammed a bottle of product down with much more force than necessary. "Can we not do this today? Let's just have one normal day before my dad sets me up with a counselor and we go back to you monitoring my every move at Dalton." He ducked his head down and Blaine could see the emotion shining through his downcast eyes in the mirror.

He wrapped his arms around the shoulders of the sitting boy and leaned down so his chin was resting lightly on Kurt's shoulder. "What do you feel like doing today?" Blaine prompted, smiling when Kurt raised his head to lock eyes with Blaine through the glass.

"Let's go shopping." Kurt exclaimed excitedly. "I need some new stuff, my clothes…" He trailed off slowly when he realized what he was saying before the sentence left his mouth.

_My clothes don't fit anymore._

Ignoring the painful clench of his heart, the drop of his stomach, and the urge to pull Kurt to his chest, he plastered on an enthusiastic smile that didn't meet his hard eyes. "Sounds fun. We should get going if we want to get to the mall and back to Dalton tonight. Your dad said he wanted to talk to us too."

Kurt got dressed when Blaine went down to find Carole and get his clothes. It was twenty minutes before they were finally both ready and heading downstairs to find Burt before they headed out and made their way to the closest mall that they would spend the day in.

"Dad?" Kurt called, his hand lingering on the railing as he stepped down off of the bottom stair and looked around.

"In here." They followed the sound to the living room where Burt was seated in his beloved chair. "Sit down." He told them and pointed to the couch.

Blaine made sure to sit at least a foot away from Kurt on the couch, knowing he had already pushed his limit when he fell asleep in Kurt's bed.

"Now, yesterday I didn't have a chance to talk to you because of… everything." Immediately, Kurt dropped his head into his hands and groaned while Blaine just looked on in confusion. "So, you two?"

"Dad-"

"When did it happen?" Burt prompted, staring pointedly at Blaine who was now just catching on. Unlike Kurt, he was admittedly fine with the conversation about to be had. He had known who Kurt's dad was for a while so it didn't come as a huge surprise when Burt wanted to have the 'You-hurt-my-son-I-hurt-you' conversation.

"It's fairly new." Supplied Blaine when it became evident that Kurt wasn't going to stop glaring at his father. "It was just a few days ago." He counted back the days in his mind and nodded to himself when he seemed to be right the first time.

"Nothing happen yet?"

Kurt broke his newly bestowed vow of silence with a shriek. "Oh my goodness, dad! Stop it right now!"

Burt brought a hand up to silence is son's panic and shrugged his shoulders. "Kurt, you're in a relationship now and it's my job to make sure you don't do anything you aren't ready for." He told him nonchalantly, and then turned his gaze to Blaine. "I have to make sure you're not forced into anything."

It appeared as if Kurt was about to unleash his terror on his dad, but Blaine put a hand on his knee to silence him, removing it quickly when Burt sent a pointed stare to the wandering appendage. "Sir, I can assure you that I will never ever force Kurt into something that he isn't ready for or doesn't want to do. I care for him deeply and I'll try my best to never hurt him."

Silently, Kurt slipped his hand into Blaine's and smiled. Burt's hard line of a mouth turned into something that resembled a small smile and his eyes softened which made Blaine let out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding. It wasn't any use though, because Burt's eyes turned determined again.

"That goes for you too, Kurt." It took a few seconds for the pair on the sofa to realize what he meant and when they did, Blaine didn't know what to say.

Kurt blanched. "I'm sorry, _what_? This is not how I imagined this talk going. You were supposed to bring out your shotgun, but now you're telling me not to ravage my boyfriend?"

Not as slyly as he hoped, Blaine covered a snort with a faux cough that turned into a strangled choke. Burt just nodded and continued on. "Kurt, you need to respect others just as much as you yourself needs to be respected. It's a two way street and with two guys things can get tricky."

It was in an instant that Kurt had his hands over his ears. "I'm not having this conversation! Especially with Blaine sitting besides me! Nope, no way, not going to happen." His voice was considerably louder due to the fact that he was trying to block out all other sounds from reaching his ears and he couldn't actually hear how loud he was speaking to lower his voice.

Burt rolled his eyes and rubbed his forehead wearily. Blaine pulled his boyfriends hands away from his face to Burt's fortune. "I'm not trying to give you a sex talk, Kurt. I'm just trying to tell you both to respect each other."

"Okay, so if we promise to respect each other, can we leave?" Kurt asked, his cheeks flushed from the uncomfortable-ness of the situation.

Burt nodded. "Obviously I'm not going to take advantage of Blaine so we can put that matter to bed." Kurt confirmed and looked to Blaine.

"I would never pressure Kurt into anything he ever didn't want to do or felt even slightly uncomfortable with, I promise." His eyes were genuine and Kurt smiled at his sincerity.

Seemingly satisfied, Burt smiled slightly. "Okay, you two can leave. Be careful while driving and I'll call you later, Kurt."

After the hugs and goodbyes from the family, the two boys were finally out the door. The wind was cold and Blaine pulled his jacket tighter around his body as he slid into his car and started the engine, making sure to turn the heater up high. Kurt settled in the passenger's seat and pulled the seat belt over his chest. "Put your seat belt on, Blaine." Kurt scolded him and leaned over to fiddle with the radio.

"I was getting to that." He protested and put on his seatbelt. He pulled out of the driveway and began his way to the mall he had only been to once or twice in his life. Living in Westerville, you didn't make it a natural occurrence to go to the shopping center closer to Lima.

"Of course you were." Kurt responded airily, turning through stations of the radio, seemingly dissatisfied with every single one of them. "Do you mind if I put on my iPod?" He asked and pulled out his iPod from his bag, not waiting for an approval.

"If I said no would it really stop you?" Blaine looked over to Kurt to see him shake his head.

"No." Kurt decided and turned up the volume, setting his iPod down to rest on his knee.

The older boy chuckled and shook his head. Music played in the background as the couple idly chatted about whatever crossed their minds during the ride. That was, until Kurt turned up the volume and started to sing along to the music which happened to be a Lady Gaga song.

"I love her." Kurt said mostly to himself as he hummed along to the tune of 'Speechless'.

Blaine chuckled and nodded his head. "I can confirm that."

"Why do I have the feeling that you're being sarcastic?"

"Because I am?"

"What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. I'm just saying that anybody who lives on the same floor as you knows all the words to her songs by now." Blaine shrugged, thinly veiling the smirk growing on his face.

"Oh and as if you're any better." Kurt scoffed. "Mr. Katy Perry."

"I'm going to stop this before it escalates into something problematic." Blaine tried to keep a serious demeanor, but Kurt could see the smile poking out of the frown on his lips.

"Suit yourself." Kurt told him haughtily and resumed his under the breath humming before it turned into actual singing.

_And I'll never love again, oh boy you've left me speechless._

Everything was calm for the time being. Blaine listened to Kurt sing quietly along with Lady Gaga while he focused on which exits to take and not getting lost.

Then all of a sudden, the peaceful atmosphere turned chaotic.

Kurt randomly shrieked dramatically at an earsplitting volume which caused Blaine to violently swerve the car and his heart to skip a couple beats. Of course that led to more yelling on Kurt's part and Blaine to pull over the car and try to regain the breath he lost in his panic. Thankfully, there was little traffic on the road so they were all physically safe, mentally though not so much.

For a moment, the only thing that could be heard was a car passing by on the road and the heaving chests of the two trying to refill their lungs.

"What the hell!" Blaine exclaimed looking to Kurt. "What's wrong?" His hazel eyes searched Kurt's face frantically for what had caused that insane shriek.

"Blaine." Kurt moaned pitifully and clutched at his throat, his eyes wide in fear and sorrow.

"What! What is wrong?"

"My voice, Blaine! My voice!" Kurt's voice was moving on to an edge of panic and his bottom lip quivered.

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and tugged on it in an attempt to get Kurt to look at him. "You need to tell me what's wrong if you want me to help." He told him as calmly as he could; still trying to determine what was going on.

Kurt hung his head and sniffed quietly. "Throwing up can ruin your voice." Blaine understood the chaos immediately and smiled sadly.

"Oh, no, no, your voice sounded fine." The burst of relief he felt in his chest was instant. He had surely thought it was something more drastic than this. "You were just singing and you sounded great." Blaine pulled what he could of Kurt into a hug over the console and smoothed his hair back soothingly.

"My voice could be ruined. I could never sing the same again."

"But that won't happen. Your voice is still as wonderful as ever. I promise." The sincerity in his voice was overwhelming and Kurt's reassurance grew in the tiniest.

"Do you think I should tell them Blaine? I mean, my friends from McKinley and the Warblers?" Kurt asked softly, looking down at the thumbs twiddling in his lap. He looked vulnerable and like a scared child that Blaine wanted to take care of immediately.

"It's completely up to you. No one is going to force you into it, but if you want to tell them then you should."

"Would you tell them if it was you?" Kurt looked up to find Blaine deep in thought.

"I really don't know, Kurt. I guess I might tell my closest friends, but I wouldn't want everyone to know." Kurt nodded understandingly. He loved his friends with all of his heart, both old and new, but it was bad enough that five people knew, those being Blaine, Burt, Carole, Liam, and Liam's sister. Kurt was completely content with those people being the only ones to ever know.

But at the same time he was still unsure. He knew Mercedes would kill him if she ever found out that he never told her. The girls would all baby him, maternal instincts kicking into overdrive which was something Kurt didn't really want to experience in his lifetime, ever.

"What about the Warblers and my voice?" He questioned meekly.

Blaine frowned and looked over to Kurt as he played with the keys in his hands. "Honey, your voice sounds perfect to me. Nothings wrong, there is no need to worry, okay?"

Kurt nodded, not knowing if he himself was even fully convinced. Leaning his head against the cool window, he listened to Blaine start up the car again and return to their drive to the mall.

…

"What about these ones?" Blaine asked hopefully, holding up a pair of skinny jeans for Kurt to inspect and evaluate.

The slightly taller of the two bit his lip. "Oh darling, this is why I'm the fashionable one of the relationship and you're the pretty one." He patted Blaine's shoulder soothingly and shook his head. "Why don't you leave me to the shopping, okay?"

"But these look fine." He protested, looking over the jeans again. Kurt just turned back to the pants he was looking at again and hummed under his breath.

Blaine sighed and joined Kurt where he was. It was almost laughable; the amount of effort the pale boy was putting into finding a pair of jeans. Whenever Blaine went shopping, he could find a pair of jeans he liked in less than ten minutes. Clearly, Kurt was not the same case.

"I don't know why you're doing this. You'll look good in anything." If looks could kill, the older boy would definitely be six feet under right about then. The glare Kurt shot his boyfriend was scary to say the least, but it shut him up effectively.

The silence was short lived after Blaine started to sing the song they had been working on in the last Warblers rehearsal under his breath.

"If you're going to start another flash mob, I will ditch your ass and never speak to you again." He said nonchalantly, his eyes never leaving the jeans he had pulled out.

"How did I know you were going to bring that up?" Blaine groaned and dropped his head into his hands.

"It was just too good of an opportunity to pass up. Besides, I think I am allowed to make a joke about it every once in a while." A smile grew on Kurt's lips with the words and he looked up to see Blaine's flushed cheeks. Kurt decided that he really liked the pink color on his cheeks and needed to make him blush more.

"No, I'm pretty sure boyfriends are supposed to _not_ be mean to their significant other. And anyway, didn't your dad just tell you to respect me? I'm not above calling him and complaining." Blaine followed Kurt around to another rack and shoved his hands deep in his pockets.

"I'm not being mean, you're just sensitive about the topic and you would never call my dad. He terrifies you." Kurt pulled out yet another pair of jeans from the endless supply the store seemed to have and turned to Blaine. "What do you think of these?"

"Well, I wonder why in the world I would be sensitive about that and your dad and I are cool, friends even. Also, those jeans are nice." The fact that they were talking about three different things at once was starting to get to Blaine and he mentally checked off each topic as he answered Kurt out loud.

Kurt folded the jeans and put them back on the shelve. "Those jeans are horrible."

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows. "Then why did you ask?" He questioned incredulously.

"I don't know, it made you stop talking about my dad and you 'being cool', so I suppose it served a purpose." He shrugged and returned to his hunt for the perfect pair of skinny jeans.

"You are ridiculous."

"And you are like a child."

It was ten more agonizing minutes before Kurt finally settled on three pairs of jeans, two sizes of each pair as he was not completely sure what size he was now. He told Blaine to wait outside while he changed and stepped into the dressing room.

Inside, he dropped the clothes carefully on the tacky looking seat and picked up the first pair of pants, those being a pair of white skinny jeans. It was easier to slide out of the jeans he was wearing then it would have been if they had still clung to his skin like they used to. He could hear Blaine tapping his fingers on the wall in a random beat outside of the stall and he took a deep breath before sliding the new jeans up his legs.

This was what he had been waiting for; all that hard work to lose all that weight was going to pay off if he was able to get into a smaller size. Buttoning the jeans gave Kurt that rush of adrenaline he experienced whenever he purged after a meal and the feeling was invigorating and everything he could have asked for.

It made him feel beautiful and hot. The way his jeans clung to his legs to show how smaller they had become made him feel _sexy_ and it was something he _never_ wanted to give up. The image in the mirror wasn't as skinny as he wanted it to be and he had a feeling that it would never be, but he had lost some weight and it was a big accomplishment in Kurt's book.

The giddy feeling was racing through his veins and he wanted to show everybody what he was turning into. "Blaine, can you come in here for a minute?" He called, turning in the mirror to see a full view of the clothes he had tried on.

Blaine stepped inside, took in the sight of Kurt in his jeans, and quickly covered the expression that he knew was probably shining on his face right now. His stomach had dropped to his feet and that was not something he wanted showing in his expression.

Kurt had been so beautiful and small when he had first met him on that staircase that day.

Now Kurt looked unhealthily skinny. He wasn't disgustingly skinny, but you could clearly tell the difference and how much smaller he was compared to what he used to be. Blaine tore his eyes away from his legs and looked up to see Kurt's face which looked extremely overjoyed.

"So, how do I look?" He asked, turning in a circle for Blaine to see from every angle. There was a spring in his step that he hadn't seen in ages and it pained Blaine to know where it had come from.

"You look…" The curly haired boy was truly at a loss of what to say to Kurt without lying or hurting his feelings. Neither of those would be a good option, especially with how vulnerable and self conscious Kurt had become about his weight. "You look tiny, Kurt."

That wasn't a lie in any way, shape or form and it certainly would not hurt Kurt's feelings.

"I know! It's fabulous!"

Blaine swallowed his scream and looked down at his feet. The fact that Kurt was happy about this was proof that something was definitely not right in this situation and it hurt to say the least.

Completely unaware of his boyfriend's inner turmoil, Kurt stood in front of the mirror and did nothing to contain his ecstatic smile. Ever since he had promised to get better, he had a nagging voice in his head reminding him that the image he saw in the mirror wasn't going to change if he didn't work on it. He had just wanted to feel like someone wanted him and now he had that.

It was probably the overwhelming thought of actually being sexy or even the adrenaline racing through his veins, but Kurt found himself jumping over to Blaine and attaching their lips in exactly three seconds. Blaine seemed shocked for a moment before responding to Kurt's impulsiveness.

It was a mess of lips and teeth and unsure hands, but it was right, _oh so right_.

Kurt's hands had come up to frame Blaine's face while Blaine's hands had settled on the small of Kurt's back, unsure of where else to go. For someone without a lot of experience, Kurt was the one taking control, swiping his tongue across Blaine's lip and sighing against his mouth. Blaine just pulled the body he was holding closer and opened him mouth slightly wider.

Porcelain hands snuck around his face up into the soft curls he loved so much. He tilted his head for a better angle and was about to take a step back to rest against the wall, never breaking contact when-

"Excuse me; may I help you with anything?" A shrill voice cut through the air from outside the door and Blaine dropped his head onto Kurt's shoulder and tried to regain his voice, fighting his way through the thick stupor he seemed to be placed in.

"No, I'm fine, thank you anyway!" Kurt called back, a bitter edge to his voice from being interrupted. He looked down at Blaine who was trying to contain his laughter. "Well that ruined the mood."

Blaine lost it and started to laugh out loud, his laughter filling the air and cutting through the haze that Kurt had found himself in. The joyful look on Blaine's face was contagious and Kurt was trying his hardest to veil his amusement. "It's not funny!" He snapped indignantly, the words coming out more like a pathetic whine.

"Yes it is and you know it. I can see right through you." He said between breathing in mouthfuls of air to effectively refill his lungs.

Kurt rolled his eyes but allowed his smile to shine through and picked up the jeans from the chair in the corner. "Whatever." He huffed and made his way out of the stall, leaving Blaine behind him.

…

"I'm hungry; do you want to go get something to eat?" Kurt asked as he trailed his fingers over some of the clothes hanging on the rack on their way out of the store. He had bought two pairs of the jeans he picked out originally and had decided to change into those white ones he had fallen in love with.

Blaine's heart swelled as well as the smile on his face. Those words sounded wonderful coming out of Kurt's mouth after today, and he had to swallow the urge to grab Kurt and kiss him. Instead, he went with agreeing and taking his hand in his. "Yeah, of course!"

"Do you have any preferences?"

"No, I'm not really picky about food." Blaine shrugged and stepped on to the escalator that led to the next floor up, Kurt stepping besides him.

"Trust me, I know." He snorted. "I don't want something too big, maybe just a snack or something."

Blaine nodded thoughtfully and pulled Kurt by the hand off the escalator and towards the food court. Kurt rolled his eyes at his boyfriend's eagerness to go get food and figured it was because of the fact that Blaine was a teenage boy who was always hungry.

"Oh, I know!" Blaine exclaimed, pulling Kurt along faster who was trying hard not to bang into anybody else walking through the mall. "Kurt, let's get ice cream! Look!" He said excitedly, pointing towards the small ice cream place.

Normally, Kurt would have shot down the mere suggestion to get ice cream, especially now since he was trying to stay skinny, but the expression on Blaine's face was irresistible. His resemblance to a sad child was uncanny with his pouting bottom lip and eyes practically flowing with hope and excitement.

Kurt sighed. "Fine, but only if they have frozen yogurt for me." He didn't really know if Blaine had heard him in his excitement.

Apparently he did, because he turned his head to answer Kurt. "Yeah yeah, I know. Now, let's go. I want some ice cream!" The way Blaine who was so polite, smart, and mature was acting like a child in a toy store was amusing to say the least. It was beyond adorable to Kurt who couldn't help the smile that grew on his lips from his over exciteable attitude.

Luckily, there was a short line of only a little girl with pigtails and what looked to be her mother in front of them. Blaine stepped up to order and Kurt listened as he ordered ice cream with nearly every topping that was made of chocolate or sugar. Finally it was Kurt's turn to order after Blaine stopped trying to get everything that he could.

Kurt's order was simple and they stepped to the side to pay for their food. Blaine pulled out his wallet at the same time that Kurt did.

"I got it." Blaine told him softly but sternly. Kurt just shook his head and shot him a look. "I can pay."

Blaine ignored him and reached into his wallet, spontaneously deaf to all of Kurt's huffs of scathing protests and smiled at the cashier.

"Fine, but I have the tip." Kurt told him haughtily and dropped a bill into the cup besides the cash register labeled 'tips'.

"Suit yourself." Blaine wasn't paying attention to what Kurt was saying, his focus solely on the cup of ice cream the employee had just skid across the counter and into Blaine's waiting hands. His eyes lit up with joy and he barely remembered to wait for Kurt in his haste to get to a table and devour his treat.

"Come on, Kurt, you're being too slow." He whined impatiently and Kurt decided he wouldn't be surprised if Blaine started stomping his feet.

Fortunately for Blaine, Kurt grabbed his cup and followed behind the darker haired boy as he all but ran to the closest empty table he could find. If Blaine had to wait any longer he would not have been responsible for his actions. He sat gracefully down across from his seemingly hungry boyfriend.

Kurt watched as Blaine practically shoveled his ice cream down his throat and then looked down at his lap which was clad in his new beloved jeans. The way he had felt in the dressing room was amazing and the thought of ruining everything and eating the frozen yogurt he had ordered was unfathomable.

He had promised his dad and Blaine multiple times that he would try and stop with the not eating and throwing up, but the urges were monopolizing his thoughts. There had to be another way to stay skinny, but not break any of his promises and disappoint those who he loved.

Kurt wasn't the biggest believer in fate and destiny and all of that stuff, but when he looked up and received the answer to his question it was kind of hard not to. He raised his vision to look across the food court and to where the stores were and was met with the fitness store. It looked like the place Sue Sylvester would spend hours in, buying protein shakes and equipment, but Kurt had no complaints.

That was it! He wasn't going to not eat; he was just going to have to work out to rid himself of those pesky calories that threatened to take away what he had worked so hard for. The fact that he had never thought of it before was slightly mind blowing to Kurt and he couldn't help but let a large and bright smile overtake his lips.

"What?" The word was slurred through the ice cream in Blaine's mouth and Kurt raised an eyebrow in disgust.

"Don't speak with food in your mouth, Blaine." He reprimanded and handed Blaine a napkin to wipe off the corner of his mouth that was covered in chocolate.

"You act like my mom." He whined and wiped his mouth stubbornly.

"I feel like your mom." Kurt shot back and smirked. He took a small bite of his dessert and watched as Blaine happily swallowed his candy covered ice cream.

"Ugh, I don't understand how you can eat like that-" He pointed to Blaine's chocolate covered chin, "And still look like that." He finished and motioned to Blaine's body. "It's completely unfair."

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand over the table and sighed. "Kurt, I'm sure if you just tried, you could too. You were never anywhere close to being fat before and you ate whenever you wanted to."

The scoff that surfaced from Kurt's lips made Blaine squeeze his eyes tightly shut. Kurt rolled his eyes and spoke, "Blaine, it's precious that you want to make me feel good about myself, but you don't need to lie. I already told you that I was going to try and get better." He patted his hand and took a bite of the last of his frozen yogurt.

"Obviously your not going to believe me, but you're beautiful and I'd appreciate it if you would stop tearing yourself down." He wiped his mouth with a napkin and crumpled it up violently.

Kurt just pursed his lips and stood up to throw away the trash that littered the table. He turned smoothly on his heel after throwing away everything and looked down at Blaine. "Is there any place else you want to go or can we leave now?" His tone had turned sour.

"No, we can go back to Dalton." He sighed and pushed his chair away from the small table to stand. He grabbed one of Kurt's bags with one hand and his boyfriends hand with the other. "Let's go."

They walked in silence to the car, their hands occasionally brushing together and shoulders bumping.

"Thank you, Blaine. I had a really nice time today." Kurt sat in the passenger's seat after Blaine, being the gentleman he is, opened the door for him. "It really took my mind off of things."

Blaine paused his actions in starting the car and leaned over to give Kurt a quick brush of lips. "I love you." He sighed as he pulled back and smiled.

"I love you, too." Kurt nearly giggled and brought his free hand up to cup Blaine's cheek. "But we're listening to more Lady Gaga on the way home."

**This chapter is dedicated to Juliet Hummel-Anderson, who needs to remember that she is beautiful and that people do care in the world. Keep your chin up, darling! Don't let anyone get you down, including and especially yourself. **

**So anyway, I suck. Simple as that. With the long waits for updates and the bad quality and what not. But on the brighter side, this is the longest chapter yet! It's like seven thousand words! Yay for that!**


	13. Chapter 12

Dalton was a place that promised excellence in every course or extra curricular they provided. Money was certainly never a problem in attaining any and all resources needed to achieve that guarantee so the state of the outside campus didn't come as a surprise to anyone.

State of the art equipment littered many of the always pristine green fields along with tracks and bleachers. It was a place that the star athletes and jocks or students wanting to exercise could always be found occupying.

Liam Robertson was not one of those people.

He had never had any desire to ever join a sports team nor attend an over exuberant school pride filled game. Never had he spent more time that wasn't absolutely mandatory sitting in the bleachers or running on the track, so it came as a surprise to everyone when he was seen jogging around the track early in the morning.

Originally, he had planned on going to breakfast on that warm Wednesday morning but he had ultimately changed his plans when he had glanced out the window and saw a sight that both shocked and pleased him.

Sure enough, the boy he had been meaning to find and beat some answers out of was jogging in what had to be the fanciest track suit he had ever seen in his life. His mind was made up in approximately two seconds- he would be skipping breakfast to go see the one and only Kurt Hummel.

He ended up making his way outside about eleven minutes later, having had to go back to his room and change into an acceptable work out outfit. So now, donning a pair of baggy shorts and a loose t shirt, he began his jog to catch up with Kurt.

With his long legs, the task was an easy one, but the smaller boy seemed to be determined today as he visibly pushed himself to keep running even after his cheeks turned red.

"Hummel." Liam breathed out, running up besides the out of breath boy.

Kurt, who up until now, had been seemingly deep in thought and squeaked a little at the word. "Geeze Liam, do you even know how to start a conversation properly without scaring someone?" He bit out, placing his hand on his heart and slowing down his run somewhat.

"What are you doing out here during breakfast?" He asked, keeping pace easily with Kurt.

"I'm running."

"And I'm decidedly good looking." The taller boy blinked. "Stop playing games Hummel. Why are you skipping breakfast to run in circles?"

"I'm actually not skipping breakfast. I have a free period this morning so I'll get something to eat then." He told him, sticking his nose up in the air and turning his head to look away from the blonde boy.

Liam just nodded, making a mental note to make sure that Kurt actually did get breakfast sometime this morning. "And where is lover boy at this fine hour?"

Kurt glanced at the school and then back to Liam. "Probably in class, which reminds me. Shouldn't you be inside and in class right now?"

Liam shrugged. "I'll go later. Right now I want to talk to you."

"And what about?"

The taller boy sighed. "I think you know what about, Kurt. You're not that dumb, are you?"

Kurt slowed his run down to a walk and glared up at Liam. "I'm fairly certain of what you would like to speak with me about and I can tell you already that it's none of your business."

"Well, you see, I don't really care what you think." Liam ground out the words. "When you decided to stick your fingers down your throat like an emotional pre teen on my watch, it became my business."

Kurt stopped walking as his eyes hardened and he wrapped his arms around himself. "You are an asshole, Liam. Leave me alone." The words were as harsh as Kurt felt, but the taller boy just stepped closer.

"You need to take a step back and look at your life, Hummel. You need help so get off your high horse and talk to me." Liam's eyes pierced Kurt's cold ones with every word.

"Thanks, but you are the last person I would ever willingly accept help from. _Like you said_, it was under your watch that this all happened." Each word dripped with acid and cut through Liam's glare.

"You cannot seriously be implying that it was my fault that you got down on your knees in front of a toilet and emptied your stomach!" He scoffed incredulously. "Jesus Christ, Kurt. I basically laid out my crappy life experiences for you to see on the way there. I tried to be your friend and you're telling me that I was part of the reason you did this to yourself?

No, no way. Like it or not, you did this to yourself and now you have to fix it. I just want to help."

Kurt was silent for a minute before peering up at Liam with a pair of watery guarded eyes. "I'm sorry. It's my entire fault that all of this happened. I'm the cause of all these problems. Is this what you wanted to hear?" He stuttered out in a voice that made Liam back track on what he had previously said.

"Wait, Kurt, no! That's not what I-"

"I was just trying to get Blaine and all of this happened. I did this all because I wanted something. I was selfish. Are you happy now!"

Liam floundered for a second before pulling Kurt awkwardly to his chest and patting his head like he was a stray dog that possibly had rabies. "Chill out, okay? I didn't mean it like that." Kurt sighed and counted to ten, calming his breathing.

The brunette pulled away, still looking like someone had thrown his turtle and Liam sighed. "C'mon, we are going to go get some food."

…

Kurt followed silently behind Liam into the dining hall where a few kids still resided.

The taller boy had been painfully truthful in his confrontation and Kurt couldn't help but run over the conversation in his head on a loop. He had been right; it _was_ his entire fault that this had happened and now he needed to fix it.

_You made your bed, now you have to lie in it. _

Kurt had accepted that he needed help and was awaiting the news from his dad on the next step they would take with all of this so he took some comfort in the fact that after a while, the constant worrying would lessen up and he would have space to take a breath again.

That was also the reason why he had been outside this morning, jogging away all of the calories he had gained from eating all of the food without ridding himself of it. Now that he was getting help, he couldn't be avoiding food, but he certainly wasn't going to let his weight get out of control again nor was he ready to let go of the feeling he got when he buttoned a smaller size of jeans.

It wasn't until the unlikely pair was sitting at a table that they spoke again.

"Are you getting help?" Liam questioned, taking a sip of the juice he had gotten.

Kurt just nodded. "My dad is looking into clinics around here so I can stay at school."

It was surprising Kurt how good it felt to be talking about this with someone else. He was absolutely not ready to tell everyone else about his issues and problems and have them undoubtedly judge him. But Liam was someone who already knew the situation and wasn't going to judge him seeing as he had quite a few problems of his own.

The weight being lifted of his chest felt good; almost as good as the feeling he got when Blaine told him he loved him or when he kissed him.

"Why did you do it?" The tone was undoubtedly more careful with these words.

Kurt looked down for a moment before speaking and when he did it was in a slow and measured tone. "When I started doing this, it was with the sole goal of being wanted by Blaine. Obviously it helped seeing as Blaine and I are now boyfriends."

"You're a dip shit." Liam stated in a monotone voice and took a bite of his toast, chewing lazily as he watched Kurt's eyes narrow.

"And why is that?"

"Its common knowledge to everyone and their mother that Blaine has been in love with you since you two met." Kurt scoffed loudly, not believing those words in the slightest.

"I'm pretty sure you doing" He motioned to Kurt's stomach. "_This _to yourself has only hurt him. You should have seen him when I told him." The words were choked out around a mash of food in his mouth.

"Oh yeah, I've been meaning to thank you for that." Kurt but out sarcastically. "Next time you want to tell someone about an issue in my life, do yourself a favor and drink bleach instead." He tore apart a piece of bacon rather violently before looking up to Liam once again.

"How did you even find out what was happening? If my memory serves me right, you were very heavily intoxicated during that chaotic mess you call a party." He shook away the memories of Liam dancing with a faceless partner and the grimy bathroom he had entered.

"My sister was also at the party. She specifically remembers talking to you. I'm sure you remember her. About ye high," He rose his hand to indicate the height. "Stoned out of her mind and as skinny as you?"

And suddenly all Kurt could remember was the claustrophobic feeling of being in the nasty bathroom.

_She gave him a toothy smile, revealing her yellow teeth and grabbed his arm, her dirty nails digging into his shirt. "It's okay. We all just want to be perfect." The words came out in a stage whisper of bad breath that assaulted Kurt's senses._

He let out a shuddering breath and tore his eyes away from the table where they had been glued to. "Oh my goodness. Th-that was your sister?"

Liam's eyes were suspiciously dark as he nodded. "She told me all about your little experience. I just passed the information along to your leading man."

Kurt nodded numbly and looked up to the monologue clock on the wall. "I have to go. I have class and all." He rushed out and pushed himself out of the chair. Waving to Liam, he walked briskly out of the large room.

…

"I missed you this morning." Blaine smiled, dropping down besides Kurt in the senior commons where the boy was currently lounging and typing on his laptop.

"Me too." Kurt admitted softly, looking to his boyfriend and leaning over slightly, careful not to jostle his computer, and pecking him chastely on the lips.

"What were you doing?" He questioned airily, still wearing that charming, swoon worthy smile. Kurt swallowed the urge to roll his eyes as he heard the real meaning behind the question.

_Did you have breakfast?_

"I had breakfast with Liam." The younger boy told him, ignoring the way his eyebrows furrowed at the words.

Blaine nodded before bumping his shoulder playfully with his own. "What're you doing?" He asked, dragging out the syllable longer than necessary and sounding like a bored child.

"English paper. It's due next week, but I thought I would get an early start on it before I get buried alive with other assignments and you need a shovel to get me out." Kurt sighed, reluctantly willing his fingers to start typing again but not remembering what he had been saying before Blaine came.

"Well, I _was _doing an English paper," Kurt corrected himself and closed his laptop. "But it seems that you have effectively distracted me from completing my task. Well done, Mr. Anderson." He chuckled.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess you'll just have to give me your undivided attention now seeing as you have nothing else to do." He stated mockingly pitifully and shrugged.

Kurt playfully pouted, hiding his laugh. "I suppose you're right."

The older boy chuckled, his eyes sparkling and his dark eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks. He grabbed a hold of Kurt's soft hand, unknowingly sending tingles up his boyfriend's spine.

"Anyway, I came here because I have a proposition for you."

"You mean you didn't come just because you wanted to spend time with your talented and fashionable boyfriend? I have to admit, I'm wounded." Kurt grinned and squeezed the hand in his.

"Well, that too. I always want to spend time with you, but you have to stop distracting me and let me ask you my question."

Kurt nodded, biting his lip to keep from laughing at his boyfriend and motioned for him to speak.

"Okay." He took a deep breath and winked. "Kurt Hummel, will you do me the honor of going out with me on Friday night?" His eyes glinted with a sheen of hope and Kurt couldn't fathom a reason why Blaine would ever think he could reject him.

"Of course I will!" Kurt accepted and pulled Blaine to him once again, bringing their lips together briefly.

"Where are we going?" He asked Blaine after he pulled away, already mentally planning out possible outfits for different scenarios. The darker haired boy opened his mouth to tell him, but closed it when a ringing interrupted him.

"Sorry, it's my dad." Kurt told him, looking down at his phone and answering, holding out a hand to Blaine, telling him to wait a minute.

"Hello, dad." Kurt spoke into the phone, absent mindedly smoothing down his blazer.

"Hi there kiddo! How are you?" Burt's voice filtered loudly into Kurt's ear, causing him to wince and pull his phone slightly away. He sounded happily enthusiastic about something Kurt had yet to find out about.

"I'm fine." He said stonily, rolling his eyes at his knee, knowing full well what his dad was really asking.

Ever since Burt had found out, he had taken to calling Kurt twice a day, inquiring about how he was and what they had served today for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He would have already snapped if it hadn't been for the fact that he really didn't have any reason to get mad.

As much as it annoyed him, and trust me, it did, it was his fault that his father had to call him so many times a day. He was already probably putting so much unnecessary stress on his heart and starting an argument over his worrying parent would just be stupid.

"What's up?" Kurt asked.

"I uh… I found a great place for you to go and uh, get help." He frowned and stood up, waving for Blaine to stay where he was when he started to get up with a confused look painting his features.

"Really?" He breathed out, squelching the desire to hang up and cry.

Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't that Kurt didn't want the help. No, he had already accepted that this was the best possible thing to do to help everyone and get out of this chaos, but it wasn't like he was going to be totally in love with the idea.

Kurt had always prided himself in being proud of who he was and what he did. His sexuality, his clothes, being in glee club, being bullied; he had always kept his head held high, but now with this, he couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed.

He was going to have to go to a place with strangers that he didn't know and talk about what he had done to people he had never seen in his life.

"Yeah, it's close to Westerville so you can drive there easily. It's even on Friday so you can go and then come home for the weekend after." His dad tried to sound optimistic about the whole thing, but when talking about his son having to go get help for hurting himself; it wasn't the easiest thing in the world.

"Wait, it's on Friday? Dad-"

"Nope, don't complain, Kurt. This was part of the deal. You are going to this thing then coming home for family dinner. If you want, I could just as easily pull you out of boarding and have you come live at home. Would you like that?" His tone gave no room for questioning and Kurt rubbed his eyes while letting out a sigh.

"No, no that's perfect dad." He leaned against a wall and listened to his dad's voice drone on and on about the great things about the clinic he had found.

…

His dad had ended the phone call after an obscene amount of questions about a minute ago. Kurt knew that he should go back inside and talk to Blaine about everything, but he really didn't want to face him right now.

He knew that Blaine had been looking forward to their date by the way his eyes shone matching the joyful expression that graced his features after he accepted. For as long as they had been together, the couple hadn't had anytime to actually go out on a date.

Thanks to the circumstances in which they had gotten together, more pressing and stressful matters had become the number one priority, putting dates and what not in the back seat. Now, the one time Blaine asked him out, he had to cancel for none other than the same reason they hadn't gone out in the first place.

Needless to say, he felt horrible about it and didn't want to see the way Blaine's face was going to morph into one of a sad puppy all because of him.

Sighing, Kurt pushed himself up off the wall he was leaning against and dragged his feet into the next room.

At the sound of footsteps, Blaine's head had shot up searching the room for Kurt. "What did your dad want?" He asked and patted the seat next to him for Kurt to take.

The taller boy frowned and gently sat down close to his significant other. "I am so sorry, Blaine." Kurt's eyes were filled with guilt and sadness and Blaine swallowed the lump in his throat that had formed at the expression.

"What's wrong?" He asked, grabbing Kurt's hand again and tilting his head forward, closer to Kurt's.

"My dad, he uh… he found an organization with counseling sessions and all that stuff f-for me." He hated the way the words came out in a sad whisper, stuttering over letters and stumbling over words. It made him feel weak, the way he couldn't even control how his sentences came out.

Blaine's lips turned up in a small smile. "That's great, Kurt." He told him, tilting his chin up with his finger and forcing him to look in his eyes. "This is good news." He assured him when he got a look at Kurt's frown on his pink lips.

To the older boy it was great news. For the longest time, all he wanted was for Kurt to get better. Sure, he had agreed to getting help before this point, but the fact that he actually knew what was happening and where he could go made everything more surreal.

It made his heart swell in his chest to think that Kurt would be healthy and okay in an undetermined amount of time.

He knew that this was a problem he would always have to struggle with for years to come after he stopped the nonsense, but right now, it felt like they were making real progress and Blaine couldn't be any happier.

His eyes met Kurt's downcast ones and he frowned. "Why are you so sad about it?" He asked, moving his hand from under his chin to cup his cheek lovingly. "You still want to get help, don't you?" Blaine questioned, his heart already sinking at the possibility of Kurt rebuking his previous notions and deciding to return to his problematic ways.

"Yes, of course I do." Kurt firmly confirmed. "It's just… it's on Fridays after Warbler rehearsal and then I have to drive home for the weekend and-"

"Kurt." Blaine spoke, cutting off his word flow. "Is that what you were worried about? Our date having to be rescheduled?"

The boy in question just nodded, his eyes searching the others face for any sign of disapproval or disappointment of any kind. Surprisingly, the only thing he did find was an expression of incredulity.

"That's ridiculous! Your well being comes before any date we might have, okay?" When Kurt nodded again, Blaine continued speaking. "Now, tell me about this place your dad found."

Kurt was silent for a moment as he looked around to the other boys in the room. Most of which had their heads stuck far in a book, a few others laughing with their friends. He turned back to Blaine, "Can we go talk about this in my dorm?"

In a second, Blaine was up off the couch and grabbing his books. "Let's be on our way then." He smiled and arm out for Kurt to take.

After putting his laptop away in his bag and slinging it on his shoulder, he took Blaine's offered limb with a shy smile and a rosy blush. The boys walked closely together through the halls, bumping shoulders and hips along the way.

The pair opened the door to find Trent, Kurt's roommate, rummaging around under his bed. Having heard the door open, he looked up to see the boys deposit their stuff on the desk and Kurt close the door behind him.

"Hey, Kurt. Blaine." He nodded to each one of them before turning back to Kurt. "Have you seen my bag?" He ran a hand through his hair out of stress.

"Check the bathroom." Kurt smiled, knowing full well how his roommate's items had a habit of ending up in weird places. While the frantic boy searched the bathroom, Kurt pulled Blaine to his bed to sit down.

"Thank you so much, Kurt. You are a life saver." Trent called out as he rushed out of the other room. "Anyway, I best be going, seeing as I'm already-" He paused to look down at his watch and his eyes widened comically at what he saw. "Twenty minutes late? Where does time go?" And with that, he was out the door running.

Silence followed after the door unintentionally slamming.

"I don't know a lot about it." Kurt admitted, breaking the quiet away and leaning back until he was looking up at the ceiling. "My dad just told me where it is and some basic information about the place."

Blaine flopped backwards on the bed so that their shoulders and arms were pressed flush against each other. "Like what?" He edged on.

"It's a group counseling session at the Westerville Recreational Hall." That was the extent of his knowledge about the place he would have to attend on Friday and it scared him. In this case, not knowing was definitely worse than knowing because now he couldn't even fully prepare himself for what he would be getting himself into.

The bed bounced along with Blaines nodding. "I used to swim there. The pool is heated and it has a diving board."

Kurt's lips turned up in a smile, thankful for the rare change of subject and chance he got to have a normal conversation for once. "Don't you have a pool at your house?"

"Yeah, but the one there is heated and I used to be afraid to swim so my mom signed me up for classes there." Blaine said sheepishly.

"Aww, I can just imagine little Blaine learning how to swim for the first time." Kurt cooed affectionately, moving his hand slightly to brush against the other males.

The darker haired boy grabbed and intertwined their hands. "I was twelve."

A giggle erupted through Kurt's lips before he knew it and Blaine couldn't help but smile at the most carefree sound he had heard from him in days. "It's not funny. I was terrified.'" He protested half-heartedly.

"Of what? Drowning in water that you could probably stand in?"

The older boy nudged the others shoulder with a scandalized gasp. "You are mean! I was a small child!"

"Oh yeah, you were probably still so small that the water would have gone over your head." He got out in between breathy laughs.

"Was that a stab at my height?"

"More like the lack of.'"

Blaine laughed along with Kurt, not finding it in himself to be the slightest bit offended. After a while, the giggles quieted to a little pant while Kurt tried to catch his breath.

"Can I take you there at least?" Blaine asked as he rolled onto his side so he could face his boyfriend.

The boy in question mimicked his action and found himself nose to nose with one Blaine Anderson. "Why?" He breathed. Of course he would want Blaine to go with him, but there was a small part of him that didn't want it.

Friday was going to be a mystery to Kurt and he didn't know how he would act. The last thing he wanted to do was lash out on Blaine like he tended to do in stressful situations.

"Because I want to be there for you. Because I want to support you and spend more time with you. Because I want to go see the old building and reminisce about the days I spent as a terrified pre-teen." His tone was somewhat playful, but his eyes were burning deeply with sincerity and a vast amount of hope.

Those eyes were undeniably his weak spot.

"Then I suppose you can escort me and act as my chauffer for the evening." He amended with a gracious smile that was kissed off his lips a moment later.

…

The day seemed to stretch out for an impossibly long time as every minute turned to an hour inside Kurt's mind.

On one hand he relished in the fact that he still had time before that counseling session tonight, but on the other he just wanted time to pass so he could get it over and done with. The sooner he went to the session, the sooner everybody would leave him alone, and the sooner his life could return to normal.

Every spare moment he got, his phone was in his hand checking the time to see if any significant amount of minutes had passed. Unfortunately he was always disappointed when it never happened.

It seemed as if everybody in the world knew exactly what was going on and where he was going. The glances seemed to be longer and the questions seemed to be even more suspicious and disbelieving than usual. Blaine had told him that he was paranoid and just anxious about that night, but Kurt wasn't sure.

Finally, the last bell of the day had rung signaling freedom for all of the Dalton Academy boys except Kurt Hummel.

Blaine seemed overly eager about the whole situation which was positively not making the situation any better. Starting the car, he had smiled at Kurt and told him that he shouldn't be nervous at all and things would be more than okay.

The doubts of those words were present in his mind, but Kurt didn't voice them. Instead, he smiled shakily at Blaine and rolled down his window a bit. Most of the ride was filled with humming along to the radio and silence, but neither boy minded, each lost in their own thoughts.

Kurt stared out the window and watched as each tree passed by, making him that much closer to the meeting with every inch. He knew he shouldn't feel sorry or scared for this because he had been the one to cause it in the first place, but right now his brain was too frazzled to control his thoughts.

It was just an hour.

One hour and then he would have the whole week to himself. He was a Hummel, he was strong and he knew that he could do this if he tried, but he wasn't sure if he really wanted to.

The car stopped and Blaine turned the key in the ignition until the car turned off. "This is it." He announced quietly.

"I gathered that." Kurt nodded in response, making no move whatsoever to open the door and get out of the car.

"What time are you supposed to be there?" He asked as he pulled out his phone to check the time. Kurt stole a glance and felt his stomach drop. "Now."

"Babe, I know this seems scary right now, but you got to do this. I just know it will help you and that's all I really want right now." He rubbed his hand along Kurt's arm before sliding up to his neck to pull his head down in for a kiss.

He sighed against the lips and nodded. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Blaine told him firmly as Kurt opened the door slowly and stepped out onto the pavement below his feet.

Kurt walked slowly and cautiously from the car, not wanting to get there any faster than he absolutely had to. He knew that Blaine was probably waiting until he got inside to drive away and that fact made him fight the urge to turn around and go home.

If he cried hard enough, Blaine was sure to give in and bring him back to Dalton, but Kurt knew that was selfish. He had to do this if not for himself then for his dad and Blaine.

His pale hand gripped the door handle tightly to stop the subtle shaking his hand had started. The door was heavy as he pulled it open and stepped through, glancing back one last time to see Blaine giving him a sad smile and a small wave.

As the door closed gently behind him, the skinny boy found himself wishing for something he knew he couldn't have. In that moment, the one thing he wanted most in the world was to go home and talk to his mom. She had always had the best advice, the best hugs, and understood him.

To just be held by her and helped by her was something Kurt would give anything for. She would've understood him if he told her about everything.

With a deep breath, he squeezed his eyes shut to clear his mind before he had to move any further.

The sign indicating which direction to take down the hallway was almost comical. Written in big bubble letters and decorated with bright and happy colors, the sign looked like something Brittany would make. It looked just about as out of place as he felt.

Moving on before he could get anymore attached to the ridiculous poster, Kurt arrived in front of what appeared to be the final barrier between him and his new reality. He could see through the little window a group of chars set up, some filled and some vacant and from what he could tell: he was probably the only boy.

Before the pity and sadness could overwhelm him with that situation, he swallowed the nonexistent spit in his parched mouth and pushed on the handle. The creaky door sounded like a gun shot to his perked ears and he slipped through the opening he created to avoid having to open the door anymore, but the sound was enough. Everybody had already looked up and noticed his arrival.

There were six sets of eyes, all looking, all knowing, all watching.

An older woman was the first to break the silence that he had been all too aware of. "Hello there! Come on in, you're just in time." She motioned for the girl she had been talking to before he had come in to take a seat and looked over to Kurt who shuffled over to an empty seat in the corner.

The woman in the front clapped her hands together with a small smile. "Hi everyone. As most of you know, my name is Cindy and I'm your counselor for this evening. Like every other time before, I want to just go around and have everyone introduce themselves and share a little bit if they would like."

Kurt looked over to the right where a table stood covered in a salmon plastic pink table cloth and plates of cookies and chips. It wasn't surprising that the joke of a table was untouched. That was like putting a keg in the middle of an Alcohol Anonymous meeting. No logic whatsoever.

He turned his attention back to the young girl who was speaking at the moment.

"You guys can call me Lana and I'm here because my parents think I have a problem." She rasped out and crossed her bony arms over her visible ribs.

The brunette briefly recognized Cindy and Lana speaking as he inwardly scoffed.

_Surely I am not as bad as these girls here. This place is a fucking joke. _

It wasn't until someone cleared their throats that he realized the few people were staring towards him expectantly. His mouth worked faster than his brain as he found himself speaking words he hadn't planned on. "I'm Kurt Hummel and this is my first time coming to one of these meetings."

"It's great to have you, Kurt." Cindy hooked her thick hair between her big ears and smiled. "Why don't you tell us a little bit about why you're here?"

"Well, I'm just going to take a guess, but I'm pretty sure everybody is here for the same thing." He snipped, crossing his legs and sliding his butt back against the seat so he was sitting taller. Maybe it wasn't the nicest thing to say and act his first time here, but he didn't know how else to deal with this.

It wasn't like he was going to just start weeping and confessing his inner most feelings to a group of girls he had known for a total of ten minutes. Not going to happen.

Cindy's smile never faltered. "Girls, why don't you take out your journals why I go talk to Kurt here and get him started out with everything?" Her voice sounded nice enough, but it was one of those that you just knew would get tiring after a while and Kurt was not looking forward to that.

She smoothed the back of her long skirt before sitting in the seat next to him and crossing her ankles. "I know that this is really hard, the first time always is, but nothing will get better if you don't try and help it." The words sounded overused but sincere all the same and Kurt turned his head to face the red head better.

"Can you tell me how you ended up here?" She asked while not so subtly scooting her chair and inch closer to his.

"The same as everyone else." Kurt stated coldly. "I have… problems with eating apparently and now I'm here."

Her hair fell in front of her eyes as she nodded and Kurt found himself thinking of all the different styles he could cut it into. His mind was desperately searching for anything to use as a distraction. "You say it like it's not a big deal." She observed.

And this was the part he had been dreading.

Now came the analyzing of the words he said and the solutions to his problems because he supposedly wasn't capable of handling it on his own. Now it was time for Cindy to look at him like a broken little toy that she needed to tape together and fix all of the issues he had.

"And that would be because it isn't." He said breezily, picking a piece of imaginary lint off of his always impeccable shirt.

"That's where you are wrong." Her tone reprimanded gently. "You look like you're into fashion and care about your appearances, am I right?"

He nodded, not bothering to dignify her with an answer as he hadn't any idea where she had planned to take that line of questioning. Not to mention the question was just stupid. If he didn't care about his appearance than he wouldn't have ended up in that room.

"Did you know that you are risking losing your hair and ruining your teeth by doing this to yourself? You see that girl in the front?" She pointed to the back of a head belonging to a blonde in the front row. "Her hair is falling out."

"I appreciate your concern," _No I don't. _"But I don't have to worry about that anymore seeing as I've already started eating again. I'm only here to please my parents and boyfriend." He continued to stare ahead at the poor blonde's head of thinning hair.

Cindy sighed before reaching down and picking up and standard black and white composition notebook. "This is your journal, Kurt. From now on I want you to write everything you eat down in here along with the number of calories it had. You can also write about your day and/or experiences, but it's not required." She handed him the notebook before continuing on.

"You're allowed to bring someone along with you each meeting if you would like. If you're not writing in your journal or I find that you're lying then I'll call your dad and talk to him about the issue." Pausing for a moment, she patted his knee. "I know it may not seem like it right now, but I really am just trying to help you sort through this and show you that you aren't alone in your struggles."

…

Once the hour was up and Cindy reluctantly told everyone to wrap up what they were doing, Kurt booked it out of the place leaving the girls and the untouched table full of food in the dust.

He had survived it and although he wasn't remotely happy about having to write down what he wrote in the notebook he had been gifted, he was proud of himself and was sure that everyone else would be too.

Blaine's car was sitting in the same spot that he had been dropped off at and Kurt excitedly made his way to the car so he could show him that he was in fact trying to get better. Hopefully things could start on their journey to getting back to normal.

"Hi." Kurt greeted airily as he closed the car door behind him and leaned over to peck Blaine's cheek.

"Hey, how was it?" He asked, pleasantly surprised at the mood Kurt seemed to be in.

The taller boy buckled his seat belt and placed the notebook in his lap. "It wasn't fun, but I'm proud of myself for doing it."

"So am I." Blaine told him genuinely and started the car. "What's that in your lap? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you had that when you went in."

Kurt nodded slowly, looking down to the object in his lap. That was his least favorite part of this whole set up. "Yeah, I'm supposed to write down everything that I eat and all the calories which is probably not going to happen."

Getting himself to swallow mouthfuls of food was torture to him. Having Blaine's eyes on him whenever he ate made him feel self-conscious. Writing down everything he ate was not going to help him. It was going to remind him of how much he had eaten that week and how much of his life would just be easier if he got rid of it. Recording the calories and reminding him of how much fat he was putting in his body was surely not going to help his problems.

"Why not? I think it sounds like a really good idea!" Blaine argued, breaking away at his thoughts.

Kurt shrugged. "I just don't see the point." He half-lied. "How is this supposed to make me… better?"

The raven haired boy was silent for a moment before answering. "I have to make a stop on the way back to Lima, okay?"

He nodded in affirmation, confused but nonetheless grateful that Blaine had seemingly dropped the issue and trusted him enough to let him do this and make decisions on his own.

They pulled into a small parking lot before Blaine told him that he would be back in a minute and got out of the car, leaving the keys in so he could listen to the radio. While he was gone, he sent a quick text to his dad telling him that he was on his way home and that he would tell him about his day when he got there. By the time Burt had replied, Blaine was pulling the door open and settling back in the seat, this time accompanied by a plastic shopping bag.

"What is that?" Kurt questioned, grabbing the bag and pulling it to him before Blaine could even find the words to protest his action. Pulling the crinkly and noisy bag away, he found a notebook similar to the one that sat in his lap from his session. "What-?"

"I just thought that maybe we could, you know… do the whole journal thing together. I know you didn't want to, but I thought that if I did it too you might be more comfortable and willing, but it's-"

Kurt silenced his rambling with a hard kiss.

"I love you so much." He told him. "You are the sweetest and most amazing person on this planet and I am _so _lucky to be able to do this." He finished as he brushed his lips against Blaine's again, this time lingering a little longer.

"So you like it?" He eagerly asked. "Does this mean you're going to do it?"

Kurt nodded. "I love it and I love that you did this for me. Now, let's get home."

**I'm back! Does anyone even remember this story?**

**I finally found my muse again and hopefully I'll start updating again. I have just had the biggest and ugliest case of writers block, but it's sort of gone. Not completely, seeing as I had to force myself to keep writing some of these parts, but it's done. Hopefully it's not too bad and hopefully no one hates me. **

**I also want to thank every single one of you who had reviewed, messaged me, alerted, and favorited this story. You guys are literally what made me keep from giving up on this and I love you guys. **


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